before. The rock from Britannia Beach that I’d had engraved with the Always In My Heart inscription for him was in his hands. He cradled it in his palm as if it were an injured bird. “Thanks for the birthday present. I love it.”
My eyebrows angled together and I walked to the sink to fill the kettle. I was apparently still not in the right frame of mind to sort everything out. I placed the kettle on the stove. I could feel him staring at me as I dropped tea bags in two mugs and waited for the water to boil.
“Deri.” The sound of his voice made my heart ache. “Derian,” he whispered, so softly.
It felt like he wanted to deliver bad news to me. Like break-up kind of bad. I didn’t want to admit that everything I had always wanted was over, but maybe it was impossible for a special childhood friendship that turned into an intense adolescent love to last forever. It felt as if my heart was being peeled into shreds one thin layer at a time. It was excruciating.
“Murphy said you planned a surprise.” He waited for me to respond, but I was too choked up to speak. When I didn’t say anything he exhaled heavily. “I’m so sorry I missed it.”
I looked over my shoulder at him. “Were you out with that woman?”
“No. I was studying with a couple of friends from class all afternoon and we went to the pub for a pint. When I realized it was almost eight, I’d had a few drinks and didn’t think it was a good idea to drive, so I headed over to catch the bus. I would have called, but I don’t know where my phone is. I think it was stolen at the library or fell out of my pocket.” He stopped talking and stood, inching only slightly closer, as if he wasn’t sure how to gauge my mood.
I folded my arms across my chest and leaned my butt against the counter. “What happened between going to the bus and Murphy and me finding you with that woman almost four hours later?”
“I ran into Ethan, the guy in my biology class; you met him at that Halloween party, he was dressed as Muhammad Ali.”
I nodded, not because I remembered Ethan, but because I wanted him to get on with the story.
“Ethan’s girlfriend, Abbi, had texted him saying that she was worried about one of her friends because she couldn’t find her. They belong to a sorority that had a dinner party and it got crashed by a bunch of frat guys who turned it into a kegger. The last time Abbi had seen her friend, she’d been dancing with some guy nobody knew and then they disappeared. Ethan and I headed over to the sorority house to help Abbi look for her. It took a while, but we eventually found her in a laneway, unconscious.”
“Oh my God. Is she okay?”
He shook his head and his forehead creased with stress. “She’d been drugged and her clothes were torn.”
An awful feeling weighed heavy in my stomach, partly because she’d been assaulted and partly because I had been so selfishly worried about something that suddenly seemed so trivial. “That’s horrible. Did they catch the guy?”
“They will. The police questioned everyone after the ambulance left and they know who did it; they’re going to pull surveillance first to make sure the case sticks.”
“Was that Abbi you were walking home?”
“A friend of hers. She asked me if I’d walk her home because she’d had too much to drink. I texted you from Ethan’s phone to tell you there had been an emergency. Didn’t you get it?”
“I did, and at first I was sick with worry, but then we found you and I thought you had lied so you could hang out with someone else.” The kettle started to scream. I turned around and poured water into the mugs.
“Why would I lie?”
“I don’t know. I feel like an idiot for assuming that you were with her in a romantic way. I’m so sorry I didn’t stay and give you a chance to explain.”
Trevor’s arms wrapped around my waist from behind. He hugged me and rested his chin on my shoulder. I could hear the smile in his voice as he said, “I can’t believe you doubted my feelings for you.”
“I was afraid you changed your mind.”
“That will never happen.” He kissed my neck. “From the day I met you, all I wanted was to be near you. And if I’m not here right by your side, guaranteed it’s because something really bad has happened.”
I turned and reached up to touch his face, a face I’d known most of my life. “Don’t even say that. I don’t ever want to lose you.”
“You won’t. You’re the best thing in my life. You always have been and you always will be. I will be yours forever, if you want me.”
I leaned in and kissed him. “You are what I have always wanted and what I will always want.”
He smiled and tipped his head forward until our foreheads rested on each other.
“I’m sorry I overreacted, and jumped to crazy, unwarranted conclusions, and acted embarrassingly selfish and jealous when you were doing a great thing and helping someone who was in danger. I’ve been really stressed and tired and I had a vision that scared me, so I’m definitely too sensitive right now.”
“What was your vision about?”
“I’m not sure. It was vague. I couldn’t find you. Or, maybe you couldn’t find me. It didn’t make any sense, but it scared me. I thought it was an omen.”
“I will always find you.” His hand slid up to cradle the back of my neck. “No matter where you are; I will always find you.”
“I know.” I kissed him. “That’s one of the things I love about you. And you’re hot body is another thing.” I tickled his ribs as my eyebrows rose suggestively. “My mom’s out with Ron if you want to hang out for a while.”
He caught the hint and picked me up to carry me to my room. “Are you going to make me breakfast afterwards?”
“Of course.”
“With apple-cinnamon muffins?”
“Of course.”
He smiled and then kicked my bedroom door shut behind us.
I woke up late the next morning and rushed to pack my bag to spend reading week with Sophie in Tofino—rain gear, toques, scarves, gloves, long johns, rubber boots, wool sweaters, and all my textbooks. The weather forecast was for torrential rain and cold temperatures. I had only been to Sophie’s cousin’s cabin on the west coast of Vancouver Island one other time and it was during the summer. I kind of remembered it being really windy and cold even in the middle of August, so I packed as many warm clothes as I could fit in my bag.
Sophie showed up at eight in the morning, grinning with her hand propped on her hip—she was never in a good mood in the morning. Something weird was definitely up. She was wearing tiny jean shorts, a t-shirt, and flip flops.
“Uh, why are you chipper this early and why are you
