she’d break down and cry. And what good would crying do now? It wouldn’t bring her father back. Crying wouldn’t unbreak Abe’s leg and make everything all right again. Nothing could fix her world. All she could do was to take one day, one hour and one breath at a time. Her father had taught her a long time ago that cowgirls didn’t cry.
Damn you, Dad. This one does.
As they neared the gated entrance to Stone Oak Ranch, her chest tightened and she couldn’t manage to take that one breath.
When Hawkeye didn’t slow, Liv was forced to squeak out, “Turn here!”
Hawkeye jammed his foot on the brake pedal. The truck skidded to a stop in the middle of the highway, several yards past the ranch entrance.
Liv flew forward. The seat belt across her torso snapped tight, keeping her from jettisoning through the windshield.
“You could give me a little more warning next time.” Hawkeye shifted into Reverse and backed up several yards. Then he drove up to the gate.
Liv shot out a hand, touching his shoulder.
Again, he hit the brakes and turned to her. “What?”
The relentless pressure on her chest refused to subside. “I can’t breathe,” she whispered. “I can’t breathe.”
“What’s wrong?” Hawkeye’s brows dived toward the bridge of his nose. “Olivia, look at me. Tell me what’s wrong.” He reached for her.
She shrank from his hands. If he touched her, she’d fall apart. And she couldn’t fall apart. Not now. With her father and her foreman gone, she was all that was left of what had once been her small family. Who else would take care of the animals, the fences, the house and the ranch?
No matter how hard she tried, Liv couldn’t seem to get enough air into her starving lungs. She punched the buckle on her seat belt, shoved open her door and dropped down out of the truck. Her legs refused to hold her and she fell to her knees. A sob rose up past the knot in her throat, coming out as a keening wail. Liv clamped a hand over her mouth, praying Hawkeye hadn’t heard.
The sound of a truck door opening and closing spurred her to her feet. She didn’t want anyone to see her as her composure shattered and she fell apart. Especially not the stranger she’d just met. Hugging her grief to her chest, she ran.
A tear slipped from the corner of her eye, then another and another, until she couldn’t do anything to stem the flow. Soon, she couldn’t see the road in front of her.
The footsteps pounding behind her made her run faster. “Leave me alone,” she cried out. “Just leave me alone.”
Hands descended on her shoulders.
Liv jerked free, tripped, regained her footing and took off. Where, she didn’t know.
Then something big and heavy hit her from behind, sending her flying forward. She hit the ground hard enough to knock the breath out of her lungs. A heavy mass landed on top of her, pressing her into the dirt and leaves.
She lay still, tears falling and silent sobs racking her body.
The weight on top of her shifted and rolled to the side. Big hands lifted her off the ground and pulled her into a lap and up against a solid wall of muscles.
“Shh, darlin’. Everything’s going to be all right.” Hawkeye’s deep voice rumbled in his chest where Liv pressed her ear.
“H-how can everything be all right?” She hiccuped and more sobs racked her body. “My father is d-dead. I’m going home to a house where he sh-should be, but isn’t. Even Abe is g-gone.”
“Abe will be back sooner than you think.” Hawkeye held her cradled in his lap, smoothing the hair from her damp cheeks. “I’m sorry about your father. He must have been a good man to have you as his daughter.”
“The best.” She turned her face into Hawkeye’s shirt and leaned her cheek against his chest, breathing in the outdoorsy scent she would forever associate with this man. The tears slowed to a trickle and her breathing began to return to normal. “He would have liked you, I think.”
Hawkeye chuckled. “You think? You mean you don’t know?”
“He had a great respect for the men and women who served in the armed forces.”
For a long moment, Liv sat in Hawkeye’s lap, absorbing some of his strength to tide her over when she entered the house she had grown up in, empty now of both of her parents.
Finally, she squared her shoulders and leaned away from Hawkeye. Wiping the remaining tears from her cheeks, she gave him a weak smile. “I’m sorry. I don’t normally fall apart like that.”
“You’re allowed.” Hawkeye tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “You haven’t had the best of days.” He bent and touched his lips to her forehead, avoiding the bandaged area.
God, it felt good. A kiss on her mouth would be even better. A flood of desire washed over her with an awareness of where she was. Seated across Hawkeye’s lap, she could feel the hard evidence of his own reaction to her pressing against her bottom.
She swayed toward him, her lips tingling in anticipation of touching his. Everything would be better, all of her pain would be eased, if she just kissed him.
Hawkeye’s arms tightened around her, bringing her closer.
When her lips were a mere breath from his, a sound penetrated the deepening dusk. The urgent, distressed bawling of cattle.
“Shh.” Liv stiffened, her pulse quickening. “Do you hear that?”
“Yeah.” Hawkeye’s hands gripped Liv around the waist. He lifted her out of his lap, scrambled to stand and pulled her up beside him.
“Come on.” Liv grabbed his hand and ran for the truck.
Hawkeye jumped into the driver’s seat.
Liv climbed in on the passenger side and rolled down her window, trying to hear over the rumble of the engine. Again, the sound of cattle mooing reached her. Something was wrong. At dusk cattle settled in for the night, quietly chewing their cud. Wishing she could put her own foot on the accelerator, Liv clenched her fists and willed Hawkeye to go faster.
The driveway up to the ranch house and barn curved through a stand of trees. Finally, it opened to a rounded knoll, on top of which stood her family home, a two-story colonial with a wide, sweeping wraparound porch.
Liv pushed aside the stabbing sadness, her thoughts on the cattle and horses for which she was now responsible. “Head for the barn at the back of the house,” she instructed.
Hawkeye drove around to the barn and shone his headlights at the corral and pasture beyond.
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