called yesterday,” Lana reminded him, “and offered you a choice of conference times. This was the earliest one that worked for you.” She emphasized the last word slightly.
“Right. Go on.”
“After I kept Logan in at recess and talked to him, I decided I should get in touch with you before bringing the principal into the picture. Didn’t Logan tell you about any of this?”
Flint shook his head slowly. “Not a word. Is that all?” He looked at her and sank back into the chair. “That’s not all, is it.” It was a statement, not a question.
“If that were all, I wouldn’t have called you.” This was the hardest part, but it needed to be said. “During our conversation at recess, he refused to apologize. I asked some questions, tried to figure out what was going on with him—because this behavior was pretty unusual for Logan—but he wouldn’t answer. Until...” She paused.
Flint’s blue eyes were on her. For better or worse, she had his attention now.
“He wanted to know if he was in enough trouble to be sent to live with the other boys at the main ranch house.”
Flint closed his eyes for a minute and then opened them.
“When I said no, of course not, he burst into tears. He kept asking, ‘What do I have to do to get to live there?’”
* * *
Flint stared at Lana, trying to conceal the emotions that were churning in his gut. Not only did he feel like a failure as a father, but he ached for his son.
What Logan really wanted was a mother, a family, company his own age instead of an elderly nanny who tried to get him to sit still and watch TV with her. He wanted attention, not constant scolding from his dad as he followed him around the barn, getting in the way and causing trouble.
Flint wanted those things for Logan, too.
But unfortunately for both of them, none of what Logan wanted was in the cards for him. Not now, and not in the foreseeable future. “I’ll talk to him,” Flint said as soon as he could control his voice.
“That’s great, but I’m not sure it’s enough,” Lana said gently. “I might be able to help, if you can let me in on some of the things Logan’s struggling with.”
The sympathy on her face just made him feel worse. He hardened his voice. Toughened up his heart. “Bottom line,” he said, “Logan’s struggling with not having a mother. That can’t be helped. And since his nanny quit, he needs something more after school.”
Lana nodded, looking a little skeptical.
“I’m trying to find him some better playmates,” Flint defended himself. “And I’ve put out feelers about another nanny.”
“I wonder if what he might need,” she said, still sounding gentle, “is more attention from you.”
That, on top of how stressed-out he already felt, made him mad. “I have a demanding job. I don’t get off at three thirty like a teacher does!”
She looked pointedly up at the clock, now creeping toward five. “A teacher’s work doesn’t end when the students go home, but that’s not the issue.” She leaned back and looked at him narrowly, tapping a pencil on the desk. “May I be honest, Mr. Rawlings?”
“Doesn’t seem like you have a problem with that.”
“When it’s called for. Mr. Rawlings, there were three children whose parents didn’t come to Open House. Two were from migrant families who were trying to get here when their truck broke down on the road outside town. The other was Logan.” She paused, letting that sink in good and deep, and then spoke again. “All three of them cried the next day when the other children were sharing about their families’ reactions to Open House.”
Flint just looked at her, absorbing the criticism in her words and her expression. Yep, a failure as a father.
“Now, I happen to know the ranch went on lockdown that night. I know there were problems with the boys, and you probably had to help. Logan knows that, too,” she said. “In his mind, at least. But maybe not in his heart.”
Flint let his head drop into his hands and stared down at the floor. He loved Logan more than he’d ever loved anyone, but according to Miss Lana Alvarez, he wasn’t doing a very good job of showing it.
“The other two families who missed Open House got in touch to find out if there was another way to be involved with the school. I had one mother, who’s a great cook, bring in flan for our Harvest Celebration. The other child’s parents both work in the fields, possibly even longer hours than you work.”
Was that sarcasm in her voice? He felt too guilty to be sure.
“But his grandpa, who’s too disabled for farmwork, is helping me tutor the kids who need help in reading, one day a week before school.”
He looked up at her then, spread his hands. “I’ll talk to Logan about his behavior,” he said. More like, talk at him. He needed to show how much he cared, not just lecture his son. “And I’ll come to...whatever I’m supposed to come to, whatever you recommend, here at the school.”
“We always need parents to help with holiday parties,” she said, a dimple tugging at her cheek. “Ours is the last hour of the last day before Christmas break. But... I don’t suppose you’d want to help with that. It would be a pretty demanding first activity with the kids.”
Was she making fun of him or issuing a challenge? He narrowed his eyes at her. “You don’t think I can do it, do you?”
She raised a very pretty eyebrow and shrugged, smiling openly now. “Let’s just say the kids are pretty rowdy then. The parents who help have to plan a lot of activities.”
Yeah, and he had no idea what kind of activities worked for first-graders, which was a pretty sad statement in itself, since he was the father of one.
But Lana Alvarez’s amused gaze made him want to rise to the challenge. “You’re on. When is it?”
“A week from Wednesday. Two o’clock.”
He pulled out his phone and punched in the date and time, marking it “high priority.”
“But meanwhile,” she said, “he may need more attention at home than you’re able to give him, with your responsibilities. I’ll ask around and see if anyone knows of a nanny.”
“No.” Flint shook his head. “If he needs more attention, he can get it from me.”
“If you’re sure,” she said in a voice that made it clear she had her doubts.
He really wanted to get out of here, but for Logan’s sake, he forced himself to ask for help. “Is there...” He cleared his throat. “Is there anything I could do now to make it a little better? Show him I’ve at least seen his classroom?”
She tipped her head to one side. “Hmm. Want to leave a note in his desk for him to find on Monday?”
Logan would love that. Flint took the paper and
