He looked to Cate. “Maybe I can read you a book?”
After a moment of hesitancy evidenced by the thumbnail slipping between Cate’s teeth, she nodded.
Luc followed Cate out of the room, shutting the door behind him and stopping in the middle of the living room. If he walked out the space from wall to wall, he’d probably only get in six long strides. Had it shrunk even more while he was with Ruby? Or maybe it was just being near Cate with no daughter as a buffer.
“I got the test results back. Ruby’s mine.” His throat tightened. How had they gotten here? Anger and confusion and sadness all whipped through him like a gust of Colorado wind. “They sent an email a little bit ago.”
No surprise showed on Cate’s features at his announcement. But then, he hadn’t accused her of cheating on him four years ago. The opposite had happened. And it had been the worst moment of his life when he’d denied doing any such thing...and she hadn’t believed him.
Luc couldn’t stand it when someone didn’t trust him. He’d lived that back in high school and then again with Cate, and he had no desire to repeat the scenario.
Cate motioned to her computer. “I haven’t checked my email, so I didn’t get it yet, but I also don’t need it. I know she’s yours.” Weighty silence stretched between them. “But I’m glad you have the answers you need.”
“So now what?”
“I don’t know.” Her hands lifted, their slight shaking gunning for his sympathetic side. He quickly slammed the door on that unwarranted response. “I guess that’s up to you. How involved you want to be. If you want to see Ruby.”
“If?” Heat seared his voice. Was she joking? Didn’t she know him better than that? Cate looked as though she was about to dissolve into an emotional flood, and despite his outrage, Luc didn’t want that. Especially for Ruby’s sake. They didn’t need to start out back in the same boxing ring they’d ended in the last time. He made a second attempt to answer her in a calmer tone. “Of course I want to see her.”
“Then I guess we figure out a plan. A schedule.”
Luc wanted all of Ruby in his life, not a color-coded calendar of planned times. But that was impossible. Even if he did want to transport Ruby out of this place, he couldn’t. Cate would never stand for it. He wasn’t that much of a fool.
“What about telling her?”
Her eyes momentarily closed, fingertips massaging her temples. “I’ve been prepping her as much as I could. I asked her if she’d want to meet her father.”
“What did she say?”
Ruby scampered into the hallway. “I’m gonna brush my teeth, and then I know what book I want my friend Luc to read. Boo-boo bear picked it out. But, Mommy, I still need you to huggle me.”
After that barrage of information, the bathroom door banged shut.
Luc needed a three-year-old translator. “Huggle?”
“Snuggle and hug combined.” Cate’s face softened, the curved lips that surfaced over Ruby enough to take out a man with less resentment propping him up at the knees. “And in answer to your question, you’ve met her—what do you think she said? To Ruby, the more, the merrier. She wants to meet her dad. You.”
“So we’ll tell her tonight?”
The enormousness of his question made filling his lungs an impossible task. It must have affected Cate the same, because her chest stuttered numerous times as it rose and fell.
“Yes.” Sorrow lines surrounded liquid brown pools of remorse. “Luc, I really am sorry.”
And he really didn’t want to hear it right now. One day they’d have to get into the whys. One day he’d have to move toward forgiving her. Today was not that day.
Luc had been talking to God plenty about Ruby and Cate this week, reaching for answers that felt miles away. And while he knew the man upstairs would be nudging him to deal with his ire toward Cate in no time at all, tonight was about telling Ruby the truth.
When he didn’t answer her apology, Cate sucked in a breath too big for her small frame, as if gathering courage. “I need—” her eyes found his and held, pleading “—to know you’re in. Not with me—I get that I’m not high on your list of favorites right now. But for Ruby’s sake, I need to know you’re not just going to cut and run when you figure out being a dad is the hardest thing you’ll ever do. I have to know she can count on you.”
Despite all the wrong that had transpired between them, Cate was right to ask. To protect her daughter—their daughter. A smidgen of respect eased back into play. “I don’t do anything halfway, Cate. So in answer to your question, I’m not going anywhere. I’m in Ruby’s life for good.”
Though Luc didn’t know how they were going to tell Ruby. How to explain why he hadn’t known about her without making Cate look bad. Because no matter what tension ebbed between him and Cate, he wouldn’t start out by maligning Ruby’s mother. He would put their daughter’s needs first.
Luc silently fired off prayers for guidance and wisdom.
Cate’s eyebrows plunked together like magnets. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m praying.” The answer snapped out a little snarly—ironic, considering the statement. Again, Luc dug for civility. “I’ve never done this before. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. What we’re supposed to do now.” He shrugged, offering an olive branch. “So I thought I’d ask someone who does.”
Disbelief and curiosity warred on her face. “Since when are you a praying man, Lucas Wilder?”
“Since I left...” You. “...Denver. Once I moved back to the ranch, I was...” A mess. “I started going to church with my family and it was like something clicked. I’d never really wanted a relationship with God when I was younger, but something changed. And so did I.” At least he hoped he had. Luc sure hadn’t handled things well with Cate back when they’d been together. He’d done a lot of putting himself first. Had he appreciated Cate back then? Doubtful.
His immaturity during their relationship—including the fact that they’d been pretending to be adults when they were anything but—smarted like a hoof to the shin.
“Ruby and I...we go to church, too. I became a Christian about a year ago.” A begrudging tilt claimed her lips. “It’s the reason you’re standing here right now. Otherwise, I’m not sure I would ever have softened.” She shrugged, one shoulder lifting the messy ponytail that had loosened to cascade down her back.
Seeing Cate so casual tonight—without the armor of her well-put-together clothes and wearing very little makeup—made Luc flash back to their younger days. She’d been beautiful back then, but now there was something about her... Maybe it was peacefulness. He wasn’t sure. But he liked this casual side of her. Cate looked ready to snuggle up on the couch with a blanket and watch a movie. And the traitor side of him thought he should be the one tucked in next to her. She had that effect on him, and he was still furious with her.
What would happen if he actually managed to forgive Cate? Maybe that was part of the reason he didn’t want to—because
