arms, then quickly uncrossed them. “And if it’s a no?”
Pastor Moore smiled. “We have options. None as good as Amy, but don’t worry. We won’t let you and Ruby down.”
“Okay. Does seven work for you?”
Amy nodded. Why was she even considering this set-up? No one—no one—would fault her for saying no. If it was anyone else, she’d do it. She ignored the voice in her head telling her she was only thinking of herself. Maybe she was, but who could blame her?
After murmuring goodbye, she hurried out of the room and stopped in her tracks. Ruby stood with Hannah and Daniel in the hallway. Her blank expression turned Amy’s legs to lead.
If only the child would smile or cry or...something. Amy had been around a lot of children during her years teaching Sunday school. She was used to the highs and lows of their moods. However, she couldn’t categorize Ruby’s emotional state. She seemed completely unengaged with the world. No joy, no hope—nothing.
As much as Amy wanted to avoid Nash, she also wanted to brighten this little girl’s life. Give her a reason to smile.
She had a lot to pray about.
“Guess what?” She approached Ruby, bending to speak at her level. “We can read another story tomorrow night. How does that sound?”
Ruby looked at her blankly. “I like the monkey book.”
“I do, too.” Amy straightened, surprised at the emotion clogging her throat. “See you tomorrow.”
If she agreed to this, she’d lose her heart to Ruby. Maybe already had. Losing her heart to a child she could handle. But losing it to Nash again? She would never let that happen. Not when her life was finally falling into place.
Nash clipped the walkie-talkie to his belt and strode to the barn the next afternoon. Breathing in the cool air, he let the sun’s rays soothe his agitation. Ruby had fallen asleep watching cartoons. Normally, the girl didn’t nap—she fought sleep something fierce—so the fact she’d conked out was a blessing. He’d only been her guardian for a week, and already the role felt impossible.
He wasn’t a dad. He was a broken-down, retired bull rider. Sure, he’d risen to the top of his profession and made gobs of money, but he didn’t know how to do domestic. At thirty-one years old, he had a lot of life left to figure out, like how he was going to spend his days from now on. Inspecting his property would be a start.
Snow must have thawed recently for the ground to still be soft. This part of Wyoming tended to be dry. He checked the walkie-talkie again. If Ruby woke up and he wasn’t there... Her terrified face from two nights ago still bothered him. He’d put her to bed, read her a story and gotten ready to leave. She’d clung to his arm, shaking her head, her eyes wild. He’d asked her what was wrong, but she just kept repeating, “Don’t go.” So he’d stayed until she fell asleep. An hour later, she’d woken up, screaming. Scared him half to death. He’d cradled her in his arms, wishing he could have been there for her from birth to protect her. It had taken another hour before she’d stopped shaking.
Sometimes he wished his mother was alive just so he could chew her out. But she wasn’t, and he was left to fix her mistakes. Not that Ruby was a mistake...but her upbringing had been disastrous.
Could he fix Ruby?
Yesterday he’d bought the walkie-talkies and showed Ruby how to use them. He’d said, “If I’m not in the room with you, all you have to do is press this button and holler for me. Then take your finger off, and you’ll be able to hear me talk.” They’d practiced until she was an old pro.
He chuckled. He’d probably be at her beck and call from now on. Not that he minded. The girl was as cute as could be. His mission was to help her find her smile. He wanted to keep it there. Make her forget a lifetime of trauma and neglect.
He slid open the barn door and counted the stalls as he walked through. Enough for ten horses. He already owned six. His friend Wade had been boarding them for him while he was on the road competing. The other outbuildings held his equipment. The property had one fenced-in pasture and plenty of land for any number of operations.
Lately, he’d been thinking about opening a training facility for young bull riders. But he wasn’t sure if he should. Just because he had the property to train kids didn’t mean he had the ability to teach. Maybe he’d be better off breeding horses. He certainly wasn’t running a cow-calf operation like their friend Clint. Which reminded him...he hadn’t talked to Marshall in a while. He’d better call him soon.
After shutting the barn door, Nash went back into the house. A pang of regret hit him every time he entered. Before moving back, the last time he’d been inside had been the day he’d bought it as a surprise for Amy. An engagement present. He’d been planning on proposing to her the next week. Then his mother, once again, had destroyed his life.
The diamond ring still sat in its box in his top drawer. He really should sell it.
Like he ever would.
He checked on Ruby, asleep and curled up in a tight ball like a dog afraid of getting kicked. He kissed her soft cheek before going to the kitchen. The company he’d hired to paint and decorate the house had done a good job. He’d given them free rein and a blank check. Just told them to make it feel like a family lived there and to make sure Ruby’s room was fit for a princess. If only money could fix all of his problems, but the millions in the bank couldn’t win Ruby’s trust or buy Amy’s forgiveness.
Amy was going to say no to helping Ruby. And while her refusal would be best for him, it definitely was not best for Ruby.
The girl hid apples and packages of crackers under her pillow and in her closet. He’d found cookies in her shoe. The therapist had warned him it might take a while for her to believe she’d always have enough to eat. Whenever he found food, he was supposed to gently remind her she was safe with him and he would always provide for her.
He sat on one of the bar stools at the island, dropping his forehead into his hands. The enormity of the situation threatened to overcome him.
I’m not qualified for this. What if she always hoards food and wakes up screaming? What if she never smiles? Is too scared to go to school? What if she’s been damaged beyond repair?
He raised his head toward the ceiling.
God, I need You.
Ruby had no one but him.
He’d handle it. He had to.
* * *
Amy girded her shoulders and entered the church at 6:55 pm. She’d spent the past twenty-four hours talking to her mom, her best friend, Lexi Romine, and the Lord. Lexi and Mom thought she should decline being Ruby’s mentor. The Lord, it seemed, had other plans.
Every time she prayed, she kept coming back to Isaiah 6:8: “Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.” She’d prayed for so long to help a child. How many times had she thought Here am I, Lord. Send me?
