didn’t you head for Farrier General?” The ER there had Nick’s chart from the night before.
“It’s no closer today than it was last night.” She mentioned her visit to the antiques shop. “Frankly, I didn’t expect to find you here.”
“Yes, you did,” Sawyer murmured. He doubted she’d come in search of Doc, but he couldn’t blame her for saying that.
Olivia told him about Nick’s headache, which had obviously gotten worse since that morning when Sawyer had worried about it. He could see for himself how drowsy Nick was, if not in danger of slipping into a coma. He didn’t want to scare her, but this wasn’t good.
Last night, he’d hesitated to even approach Nick. He couldn’t stall now. “Olivia, stay with Shadow.” He glanced at his friend. “Grey, keep everyone away.”
The last thing he needed was a crowd. Sawyer hunkered down in the open doorway and reached into the car, checked Nick’s pulse, made sure his airway was clear, his heartbeat strong. This was the sort of basic triage care he’d practiced with the victims of the landslide, and as he performed the quick movements again, he didn’t need to think. To doubt himself. He only had to act—and do the right thing.
Finally, he turned to Olivia. “Get in,” he said.
She’d been standing with Grey, her brother’s arm around her, but hurried back to the car. “Is he—”
“Olivia, let’s go. I’ll drive.”
* * *
OLIVIA FELT COLD all over. If she didn’t keep a tight grip on herself, she would begin to shake and wouldn’t be able to stop. She clenched her jaw to not let her teeth chatter. She’d been sitting in the Farrier General waiting room again for what seemed like hours.
Shadow sat beside her. Grey had offered to come with them—insisted upon it—but Shadow had told him to stay behind for now. He had his returned cattle to oversee, and their daughter, Ava. They would keep him posted, and he could come to the hospital later. Olivia had hoped that wouldn’t be necessary, that Nick would be released as quickly as he was last night, but the staff members’ words so far didn’t reassure her.
She tried to think of something—anything—else to stay sane. Like her plans to trade in her car soon. She needed something bigger, maybe an SUV, to deliver purchases to her customers. But she couldn’t concentrate on that. Feeling anxious, she kept looking around but didn’t see Sawyer anywhere.
Shadow patted her arm, her voice low and soft. Her liquid dark eyes held Olivia’s gaze. “I’m sure one of the doctors will be out soon. They need to focus on Nick right now. Get him stabilized.”
Olivia nodded but only felt worse. “I’m a bad mother,” she said. “I should never have left the Circle H this morning.” She could feel hysteria rising inside her. The longer she sat here, even with Shadow for company, the more worried she got.
“You’re a wonderful mother,” Shadow insisted, tucking a strand of her long, dark hair behind one ear. “Far better than I was to Ava at times. He’s going to be all right, Olivia.” She peered down the hall, as if also searching for Sawyer. “Nick’s a tough little boy. He’s a fighter.”
“He’s also seven years old and small for his age—” She broke off. Shadow was right. Olivia wasn’t making sense. More than anyone else, she knew how strong-willed Nick could be. “I’m sorry, I’m such a mess.” Shadow was aware of how overly protective she’d been of him since the flood at the ranch. “I was making good progress,” Olivia said. “Now this. I can’t stand waiting.” She gestured at the Staff Only sign. “I want to charge through those doors—”
“Of course you do.” Shadow drew her close and gently pressed her head against her shoulder. “Try to relax. Deep breaths. I’ll tell you as soon as I see someone coming.”
Olivia wasn’t sure whether she meant a nurse, a doctor or Sawyer, or which one she should hope for.
* * *
“NICKY’S BACK IN the hospital?” Logan asked, sounding tense. Sawyer could hear the hum of the highway in the background, the blast of a horn from what sounded like a semi blowing past Logan’s car. “Why?”
He’d told Olivia he would call his brother, the last thing he’d said to her before he escaped the waiting room.
“He’s being admitted.” Sawyer tried to downplay the seriousness of the situation. He’d made a quick report to Olivia after first speaking with the doctors, but he didn’t know exactly how bad Nick’s condition was yet.
Sawyer had been pacing the hospital cafeteria for the past hour. He’d memorized every food item available, but the sight of bins of meatloaf with onions swimming in gravy, pale yellow corn and anemic-looking peas, limp french fries, and slices of lemon meringue pie turned his stomach. With every step, he’d been debating with himself. Rush back to the waiting room? Be there for Olivia, assuming she would want him by her side? Or—and he was leaning most strongly toward this option—hurry out to the parking lot and borrow her car? Get away from here? He could pick her up later or Shadow could drive her home. On the other hand...
He was licensed to practice in the state of Kansas. He’d gotten his degree, done his internship and residency here after he left the Circle H for good. And then, overseas, he’d failed in the most basic way when someone needed him most.
Nick is a different person, he told himself. Nick was his nephew, as Olivia had pointed out. But to Sawyer, that was splitting hairs. He didn’t have an affiliation with this hospital. You could study his chart, though. You could discuss his treatment plan. You could screw up again.
“What did the doctors say?” Logan was asking. “What do you think?”
Sawyer couldn’t answer. He didn’t want to admit he’d all but recused himself from the case, as he had every right to do. Nick was a close family member, and because of emotional involvement, Sawyer could opt out—as if he’d been asked to take part. But Logan was his only brother. Didn’t he owe him more than that? Wasn’t a nine-year absence from all their lives enough? If he couldn’t atone for Kedar, he should at least try to make up for that. And the other doctors were willing to talk to him as a professional. He could share his views. Although they had disagreed, he suspected Nick’s headache might be due to a hematoma. Had they since scanned his head?
“I’m turning around,” Logan said.
In the background, Sawyer heard Blossom agree. “We have to make sure Nick’s okay. Poor little guy...”
Of course they did. Sawyer didn’t try to dissuade them. Maybe by the time they got here, Nick would be out of danger and released again, and they’d all share in various expressions of relief sprinkled with laughter, as if they’d been foolish to even think he could be in real trouble. In any event, Sawyer knew Logan needed to see his boy for himself. “Drive safe,” he said.
After the call ended, he resumed his circuit of the cafeteria. The lemon pie’s meringue was starting to curl with beads of moisture glistening from the overhead lamp. The meatloaf’s gravy had congealed in its steel bin and... You’re a coward.
Sawyer made an about-face. What kind of brother, uncle, friend—ex-friend, to Olivia—was he? He’d been trying to protect himself to the point of being unable to protect a vulnerable child. Nothing
