unhealthy combination of foods I can imagine,” Lauren sniffed as the waitress left.
“It feeds my soul as well as my stomach,” Jodie said, grabbing the bottle of ketchup to douse her onion rings. “Comfort food.”
“I guess we could both use some of that.” Lauren gave her a rueful smile, then bowed her head.
With a guilty start Jodie realized her sister was praying a silent blessing over her food. Belatedly she followed suit.
Forgive me, Lord, she prayed. I haven’t talked a lot to You lately. I’m sorry. I haven’t felt as if I have the right. My life’s been a mess, so I guess I could use some help there. Regret and remorse rose up again as the memories surfaced. But she caught herself in time. The past was done, even though the pain and repercussions lingered.
She finished her prayer with a thank-you for her food.
“So tell me about this music gig you’ll be doing?” Lauren asked. “Any future in it?”
Trust her to cut to the chase. Ever the older sister, Lauren had always been after Jodie to find something that gave her a career.
“It’s not a huge job and there’s no guarantee,” Jodie said. “But if it goes well, there’s a good chance that the band will open for this new breakout group. We might be touring with them.”
“Might be.”
Jodie waved off Lauren’s comment. “Everything in this business is hearsay or odds. Besides, I’ll find work waitressing if I need to fill in any gaps.”
“And what about your composing? Would you be able to keep doing that?”
“I don’t know if I’d have the time,” Jodie said, feeling a vague pang. “If this gig doesn’t happen, I’ll work enough to save up for a trip to Thailand. Maybe write some music there.”
“Running again?”
Jodie felt a flare of indignation at the censure in her sister’s voice. “It’s called traveling. Expanding your horizons. You should try it sometime instead of tying yourself to your job.”
“My job gives me security. Something you don’t seem to have. Besides, I don’t know how you can afford all these trips.”
“Simple. No obligations. Nothing pinning me down. Free as a bird.” Jodie waved her hand as if underlining her mantra. “Driving an old car and taking in tips help.”
“You’ll never settle down, living the life you do. You’ll never find anyone.”
“Don’t need anyone. Not after Lane.”
“Lane was a mistake. I don’t think the two of you were suited to each other.”
Though she knew Lauren was right, her sister’s comment struck at Jodie’s latent insecurities. It had taken her almost a year to get past the anger and pain she felt when her former fiancé had broken up with her.
He had asked for his ring back after he saw a stranger flirting with Jodie while she worked her second job, playing piano at a bar.
Lane had always wanted her to quit that job. He’d felt that, as the son of a US senator, he had a reputation to uphold.
But Jodie knew she had no other marketable skills. She valued her independence and the money she made, so she’d stayed with it. Then one night one of her regular patrons had sat down beside her, put his arm around her and kissed her on the cheek just as Lane had come in. Jodie had denied there was anything going on between them, but Lane had chosen not to believe her and had asked for his ring back.
Two weeks later she’d found out he was dating the daughter of a minister. A much more suitable woman for someone like him.
Jodie hadn’t been in a serious relationship since.
“You deserve someone who accepts you for who you are,” Lauren continued.
“Doesn’t matter.” She shrugged off her sister’s protests. “Since I haven’t found anyone who interests me enough to think of settling down, I prefer to be the one in charge. Be the one walking away.”
As soon as the words left her lips, she realized how they might sound to her sister, whose fiancé had walked away from her the morning of their wedding.
“Sorry,” she said quietly. “I didn’t mean to say that.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Lauren muttered, but Jodie could see from the tightness around her lips that it did. Jodie had been with her sister when she’d gotten the news. Lauren had been just about to put on her wedding dress. Instead, her normally composed sister had kicked it aside, tossed her bouquet down and stormed out of the room, leaving Erin and Jodie to take care of all the details.
“Anyway, I don’t want to be tied down.”
“Well, with the life you live, you don’t have time to give anyone else a chance,” Lauren said, lifting her head. “Maybe staying in one place for two months might be just what you need.”
Much as Jodie trumpeted her freedom, the idea of being at the ranch held a reluctant allure. The past couple years she’d had a curious yearning, the strange feeling that she’d been missing something. The trips, the traveling, the work—nothing satisfied her as it used to. She couldn’t quite put her finger on why.
“And maybe, if you stay in one place, you might have time to spend with Finn again,” Lauren continued.
Jodie started. “What are you talking about?”
“I saw how you watched him at the funeral service, and then the reception after,” Lauren said, giving her sister a vague smile.
“I was thinking about how he stopped me for speeding.”
“Oh, c’mon. He was just doing his job. And look how sweet he is, chatting up the locals over at the other table.”
Finn was here? Jodie couldn’t resist a glance over her shoulder.
Deputy Hicks stood by a table, talking with a group of older women. He seemed to dominate the space, his back ramrod straight, his white shirt and blue jeans softening his military stance. It shouldn’t surprise her that Finn had ended up in law enforcement. The man had made no secret of his admiration for her father.
“A little too ‘serve and protect’ for my liking. Like Dad. No, thanks,” she said, with what she hoped was a dismissive tone.
Then Finn turned around and looked her way. Their eyes met across the distance and his expression altered. In that moment Jodie felt a whisper of the old attraction.
No. Not for you, she told herself. You and guys equal disaster. Especially someone like Finn.
She dragged her eyes away, focusing on her onion rings. Then felt Lauren’s foot nudging her under the table. “He’s coming this way,” she hissed. “Fix your lipstick.”
Jodie gave her sister the evil eye, hoping she got the message—Not Interested.
“Afternoon,
