don’t say,” replied the wizardess, shocked by the girl’s honesty even while she admired and appreciated it. “Then perhaps it is his discontent that is causing yours?”
“I think you may be right,” Princess Devotia agreed. “I would be perfectly happy, I think, if only my husband would understand my position and be content, too.”
“I take it there is a difference of opinion over one matter in particular?” encouraged the wizardess.
The princess blushed, but she looked directly into the wizardess’s face. “Yes,” she said. “It is rather delicate.”
“I don’t need details,” Harmonia assured her. “I am more interested in the opinions and beliefs that are guiding your feelings. I think I may understand already, but I would like to be certain.”
The princess paused to think about it. “It seems that I am forever feeling guilty. If I resist the temptations of the flesh I disappoint my husband, but if I give in to my husband I worry that I am being unfaithful to my beliefs. Either way, I end up feeling that I have failed.”
“By ‘give in to,’ are you referring to being intimate with your husband?” asked the wizardess.
“No, not exactly,” replied the princess. It was harder to explain than she had expected it to be. “I know that it is permissible for me to have relations with my husband. That is how children are conceived. But I am uncomfortable with some of the things my husband wishes me to do and the…feelings and images that it causes me to have.”
“These feelings and images make you uncomfortable because they seem…sinful?” inquired the wizardess.
“Yes, exactly,” said the princess. “I know it sounds prudish but it is just how I feel.”
“My dear,” began the wizardess, “there is much in life that is so exhilarating as to appear sinful. That feeling of indulgence bordering on wrongdoing can be found in many things, from a lustful embrace, to a decadent dessert, to a glass of wine, and even to the intoxicating smell of this ocean.” She breathed in deeply as she said this.
“So how does one know for certain when these things become sinful?”
“That is for each individual to decide,” replied the wizardess. “I personally believe sin comes into play when a person hurts themselves or another. In the case of the decadent dessert for example, an overindulgence could mean the violation of one’s body through excess weight that could cause health problems. That would hurt the person indulging and those who love him or her. That, to my mind, is a very great sin.”
“And in the case of the…lustful embrace?” asked the princess.
“It is the same. To be able to give and get pleasure from another person in this way is a very special gift that should be celebrated and honored. To criticize or condemn the gift simply because it is so utterly indulgent and pleasurable is terribly rude and unappreciative. And to deliberately abstain from it or withhold it from one’s partner, without reason, I think, is quite unkind. Who of us has the right to put limits on any of the gifts we share here on earth?”
Princess Devotia was astounded by this speech. She had felt so pious in her struggles against the flesh that she had never even considered the origin of these struggles.
“Do you have a source for guidance, Princess Conscia…that is, do you base your beliefs on one resource in particular?” continued the wizardess.
Princess Devotia provided the details of her faith.
“Very well then,” said the wizardess, pulling a little black book from her bag. “Here is a little devotional, containing many verses from your chosen source of guidance. A word of caution though—beware of being too dependant upon the writings and interpretations of mere men. You cannot be certain that they are all speaking for our creator, and you would not want to follow an imposter.”
“How will I know?”
“Another of our many gifts is logic and a conscience,” replied the wizardess. “It is high time that you take responsibility for yourself, and use these gifts that you have been given.”
The princess stared at the wizardess. She had been taught by her religious teachers to be leery of anyone questioning their teachings and yet, wasn’t it true that she had the ability within her to decipher right from wrong? She knew that her conscience was indeed willing and able. Yet, wasn’t it her conscience that was most troubled when she succumbed to certain sensual pleasures with her husband? Or was it just an idea that had been put into her head?
“Walk me back, won’t you?” Harmonia said with a final look at the captivating ocean. The roar of the waves filled her with hope. So far, her day had indeed been exhilarating. She was doing what she loved to do, and doing it well. It filled her life with meaning to be so engaged. Furthermore, she enjoyed the challenges the princesses presented for her. Each of them held great promise of something wonderful in the palm of their hands that, with a little guidance, could easily bring them success in their endeavors and lead them to happiness.
When the wizardess had left her, Princess Devotia opened the little devotional booklet and began to read. It opened with a verse that read; “There is no fear in love, but perfect love throws fear outside, because fear exercises a restraint. Indeed, he that is under fear has not been made perfect in love.”
Princess Devotia read the verse several times over, pondering. Was it possible that fear was behind the guilt and shame, and not wrongdoing? She continued to read another quote from the little devotional. “And rejoice with the wife of your youth, a lovable hind and a charming mountain goat. Let her breasts intoxicate you at all times. With her love may you be in an ecstasy constantly.”
Well! That certainly echoed her husband’s opinions. This was advice from a prophet…why? She rushed to find that same verse in her own personal translation in order to discover its context. She located it easily enough and read the material that was put forth before and after the amazing little verse. Throughout the material there was much discussion of avoiding the sin of adultery. This she had never even considered; that in giving her husband pleasure, or “ecstasy” as the verse put it, she could actually help prevent sin, not to mention the horrible pain it would cause them both should temptation arise.
The princess was stunned. But why then did the most religious and pious always give this type of pleasure such a negative intonation? Well, as the wizardess had correctly said, the princess had a functioning mind of her own, and from this day forward she vowed to use it. With a renewed desire to seek out and find the truth, Princess Devotia continued to read, coming upon another interesting verse that read, “Let the husband render to his wife her due; but let the wife also do likewise to her husband. The wife does not exercise authority over her own body, but her husband does; likewise, also, the husband does not exercise authority over his own body, but his wife does.”
Princess Devotia contemplated this. It seemed to indicate that her husband had every right to do all of the things he wished to do with her. The thought of this gave her a little thrill. The thrill was immediately followed by a twinge of guilt. But this time she contemplated the guilty feeling instead of allowing it to automatically control her thoughts. She asked herself why a sensual thrill should bring about an automatic feeling of guilt. Was it conscience or habit that was the cause? She had been thinking about pleasing her husband when the thrill came over her, and there was certainly nothing sinful in that. Was it the thrill itself then that felt sinful? Was she afraid of pleasure?
Princess
