“I had to make certain you would suit, Olivia. Please, try to understand. I don’t want a woman who, after conceiving, will decide she wants to keep the baby, me, or both. Everything I learned about you proves you have absolutely no interest in tying yourself down right now or anytime in the near future. It was completely necessary that I find evidence to prove you wouldn’t want a baby or a husband. And you don’t, do you?”
She turned her head away to stare at the far wall. “That’s right.” After a shuddering breath, she glared at him again. “But I also have no interest in putting myself nine months behind. Carrying a child right now would sorely interrupt my schedule, not to mention what it would do to my reputation. I’d be gossiped about endlessly.”
“Not so. Not if I promised to advance your five-year goal in one year. Not if I promised my backing to make certain you got a better start than you could ever have hoped to achieve, even in five years. Not if I have you relocated immediately, or provide for you to take an extended leave of absence.”
“And you’d do all that?”
She was incredulous, but he didn’t hesitate. “Of course. I’m very serious about this. I can afford to be generous, and I want the baby. Now. My birthday is November 14. Little more than a week away. By my following birthday, I want to be holding my own child. I’ll be thirty-five then.” He hesitated, a bit vulnerable in his feelings, but also knowing he needed to explain his desire fully to her.
“Thirty-five is getting up there. If I’m going to have a baby, it needs to be now. I’m still young enough to keep up with a toddler, but old enough to make wise decisions about the child’s future. If I wait, even another year or two, I’ll be close to forty before the child is born. I have to think long-term, of how my age will affect the child during his or her teenage years, when I’ll be needed most.”
She looked incredulous again, and her voice was strained when she asked, “You’re worried about your…your biological clock?”
He felt disgruntled with the way she’d put it, but he nodded. “I suppose that’s one way of looking at it.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you want a child so badly? Why not just get a wife and do things the conventional way? And most of all, why me?”
Since she was still discussing it with him, Tony decided that was a good sign and took heart. He would win her over. After all, he had the advantage, being a man, and a more accomplished business dealer. He’d wrangled tougher deals than this when he’d first taken over the business.
But also true, he’d met few associates as tough as Olivia. It was one of the reasons he’d chosen her, one of the many things he admired about her.
He propped his elbows on his knees, leaned forward and forged on. “I want a child now because both my younger brother and sister have children. In fact, my brother only recently got his third child, a little boy, and it made me realize how much I was missing out on, how much I’ll miss forever if I don’t act soon. Don’t get me wrong. I love being the doting uncle, getting to spoil the children and having them shout and jump around whenever I show up. It’s good for the soul to be loved by a child, probably the biggest compliment a person can ever receive.
“But I have no real influence on the kids. And that’s as it should be. I’m not their father, I’m only an uncle, good for bringing gifts and giving occasional unimportant advice. I want to be the one doing the raising, leaving a part of myself behind.”
Olivia smiled. “You’re feeling your mortality?”
“I suppose. But that’s not all of it. Being business minded, forming a successful company and being respected by your colleagues, that’s nothing compared to raising a child. My brother and sister chose not to get too involved in the business, but they’re raising wonderful, loving, beautiful children. And that’s a much greater accomplishment than mine. I want to do something that matters that much.” He faced her, holding her gaze, then added, “And I want to be loved the way they are. Unconditionally, completely.”
“But no wife?”
“The kind of relationship my brother and sister have with their spouses doesn’t come easy, I’m finding.” He was so relieved she hadn’t mocked him that he smiled. It was proving much easier to talk to Olivia than he had thought. Without thinking about it, he’d bared his heart as he had never done with any other person. “It’s almost like they’re one with the other. They share everything, support each other, and they have fun together. Honest, guilt-free fun. They seem to know each other’s thoughts sometimes, they’re so in tune.
“It amazes me. At times, I’m even jealous. I think it would be unbelievable to have that kind of relationship, and after seeing it, I don’t think I could settle for anything less. But I haven’t found a woman who would suit, and to tell you the truth, I’m sick of looking. Most women can’t tolerate the amount of time I dedicate to the business, unless they’re businesswomen also. But then, most of them are so wrapped up in company policies, in proving themselves in the male-dominant corporate world, they don’t have time for me, much less a child.”
He saw her flinch, and realized she’d taken the criticism personally. “Olivia. I don’t mean to condemn. I realize it’s more difficult for women than men, that the same rules seldom apply. And I understand the need to get ahead. I was the same way until recently.”
“Until your business no longer required quite so much attention.”
“That’s right.” He wouldn’t apologize for accomplishing his goals. He’d earned his time off. “You know, there’s a downside to being successful. I always get the feeling women are sizing up my bank account instead of me.”
Olivia gawked. “Don’t you have any idea how attractive you are? How personable you are?” She waved a hand in the air. “How…sensual you are? Believe me, with or without your hotel chain, you’d have women chasing after you.”
Settling back in his chair, he whispered, “Not you.”
Olivia looked as if she wanted to bite off her tongue, but no way would Tony let her take the words back, nor would he fill the silence for her. He suddenly felt predatory, and she was his prey. He could feel the surge of energy her words had given him, supplying an interest he hadn’t felt in too long. It was invigorating, though he did his best to ignore the feelings and concentrate on his goals. Her compliments weren’t necessary to his plan—but they did fill him with male satisfaction.
He waited, his expectation extreme, to see what she would say next.
Her gaze never wavered. “Well, no. As I said, I have other goals in mind besides chasing down a man, regardless of his appeal.”
Tony narrowed his eyes, watching her squirm as he pondered her words, then he smiled. “That’s one of the reasons I chose you. Not once have you ever looked at me in a sexual way.”
Olivia blinked again. “I don’t think…”
“You know what I mean. I don’t have to worry about you accepting my proposition with ulterior motives of trapping me, because you don’t particularly want me.” He waited, then asked, “Right?”
“Ah…right.”
“But
