are you doing in here?’
Her tone was cold, almost suspicious. He didn’t let it get to him, but held out his arms. ‘I’ve done this hundreds of times. Everyone needs one lesson at baby-bathing in their lifetime,’ he said with a grin that felt dogged even to him. ‘My mother watched over me about ten times before she trusted me not to kill the kids.’
She didn’t laugh; the suspicion in her eyes dissipated a touch, but she frowned, and the watchfulness remained. ‘All right,’ was her only response. She handed the baby over to him as if yielding up buried treasure. Everything in her body language was screaming, Mine.
If laughter was the best medicine, as people said, it seemed their relationship was sick enough to need it in five-minute doses. And right up until the day she’d left him, he’d thought everything, apart from her trouble having babies, was perfect for them.
Had he been so totally blind to her unhappiness? He’d thought her only unhappiness lay in needing a child.
He put the baby in the four inches of water, leaving her sitting up. ‘When they’re really little you have to put your hand around and under them, holding them by the shoulder so they don’t go under, but …’ He frowned for a second, then remembered the baby’s name and added, ‘Melanie’s old enough to sit, so it’s easiest to make this playtime for her. You need toys and stuff to distract her while you wash, or she’ll scream her way through it.’
‘I know,’ she said so dryly he knew she’d had a bad time of it at least once. How many times had Rosie left the baby alone with Anna?
He tried not to laugh at her tone, and failed dismally—and he was relieved when she laughed with him.
He was still chuckling as he handed Melanie a clean flannel and an empty bottle of shower gel as playthings. At this age, anything would do—but he made a mental note to buy a rubber duckie or something in Geraldton when he flew down. ‘Nobody’s born knowing this, you know. Not even women.’
A look crossed her face, gone so quickly he almost thought he’d imagined it—but he knew he hadn’t. What had he said to put such pain in her eyes? Did she think she ought to know about babies by instinct? She’d always been able to laugh at her failures before, but Adam’s death had changed something fundamental in her. He only wished he knew how to heal her of whatever it was—he needed his wife back, in his bed, his arms, in his life.
Melanie pushed the washcloth in her mouth, tasting it, chewing on it while she tried to make sense of the shower gel cap. He knew he only had a minute to show Anna what to do before the baby tired of the toys and yelled the place down. ‘So you have to juggle,’ he said, rushing the words as he tried to remember what he hadn’t done since he’d been about fourteen. ‘Pour some of the shampoo in one hand, and keep the bottle out of reach.’ He put it on the sink. ‘Then use your free hand to hold her by one shoulder or her back. You have to leave her hands free to play or she won’t be happy.’ He massaged the baby’s scalp. ‘Try not to rub too hard because the baby’s head isn’t closed yet.’
Smothered laughter made him turn his head to mock-glare at her. ‘What?’ he demanded, in faked indignation. It was working, she was laughing again, that crazy, infectious giggle that lit up his world.
Her eyes were bright with mirth. ‘Her head’s closed, Jared—her skull isn’t.’
He rolled his eyes, keeping his hands on the baby. ‘Semantics, shemantics.’
She grinned at him. ‘Just keep teaching, O Yoda of babies.’
Satisfied that he’d injected more medicine into their sick—not dead—relationship, he turned his attention back to the task at hand, putting up with the baby’s yells of protest as he laid her back and rinsed her hair so he didn’t get soap in her eyes. He sat her back up with her makeshift toys as soon as he could. The rain was hissing down outside, making drumming thunder on the tin roof, but he couldn’t risk the noise for long. The rain at the start of the Wet could be spasmodic, coming and going at will—and if the Buttons heard Melanie, all Anna’s dreams could become toast. ‘You can use the shampoo as baby soap for the rest of her, if Rosie didn’t pack any.’
Anna frowned, and ran into the bedroom to check the bag. ‘Here. Non-soap baby cleanser, but how you clean without soap in it I don’t know.’
‘Soap dries out babies’ skin,’ he explained without thinking.
‘Fine.’ She waved an irritable hand, closing the subject. ‘What else?’
Melanie had worked out the gel bottle mechanism, and was gurgling in delight as she sprayed out the last of the purple gel into the water, and over her plump little legs, kicking and squealing at her achievement. They both laughed, and he knew Anna was caught between sweetness and regret, just as he was. No matter how she wanted to believe they were opposites, in their grief they were one. They were both thinking, This could have been Adam.
They could have been laughing together over their son’s baby pride.
‘We won’t be fed until midnight at this rate,’ he said gruffly. He squeezed the non-soap cleanser into his palm, and rubbed it all over the baby’s soft skin, rinsing her with a cupped hand over and over. Then he lifted her wriggling, slippery form into the air, dripping water. ‘Hand me a towel.’
Anna wrapped the fluffy soft towel around the baby, taking her into her arms as if she couldn’t wait to claim her rights. ‘Thanks, Jared. I can take it from here.’
Hating being locked out, he tried to think of a new way to be useful. ‘How many nappies do you have left? How much cereal?’
The sudden panic in her eyes made him rush to reassure her. ‘I can fly up to a petrol station, or go to Geraldton or Kununurra tomorrow if you’re almost out.’
Given reprieve yet again, Anna tried to think as she carried Melanie through to the bedroom she’d used for seven months, since moving out of Jared’s bed until she’d left. ‘I think I have about a quarter left—it was a pack of fifty—but the cereal’s almost gone. I don’t think the service station will have everything—and you know old Ernie, he’s Stop One on the Bush Telegraph Gossip connection.’
‘Good point … and too many people know us in Geraldton. Kununurra it is, then. I probably won’t be back in time to give her the cereal, but you can mush up the arrowroot in the morning with the formula. I’ll take off early. I’ll steam an apple for you before I go.’
‘Thanks, Jared.’ Again she felt relief. She didn’t know what she’d have done without him today. They’d worked together as a team. If that was the point he was trying to make, he’d done it magnificently. ‘I’ll have lunch ready when you’re back,’ she offered as she dried the baby, tickling her between to hear that silvery laugh, like sweet, tinkling bells.
‘Speaking of food, I’ll go start the barbecue.’
His voice was husky again, and she realised he’d been watching the curve of her butt as she’d worked. She flushed again, feeling tension replace the accord: the tension he’d probably misconstrue as sexual, because he still didn’t seem to have any idea why she’d left. ‘Good idea.’
He left the room. She didn’t watch him go or look at the long, clean lines of him, a strong working man of the land. The ache of feminine yearning was strong whenever she was near him, and when he smiled at her like that—but walking right alongside
