She’d never considered getting a boyfriend for security purposes. Since John’s death, she hadn’t felt a flicker of interest in a man. Her children came first. Besides, it wasn’t fair to get involved with someone under these circumstances. She was living under a false name, and could be relocated at the drop of a hat.
Now that she’d seen Felix—maybe—her outlook had shifted. She could use the extra protection. She needed to be proactive.
Hugging a pillow to her chest, she closed her eyes, imagining Brian in her bed.
Chapter 5
Leah spent half the night tossing and turning, torn between terrifying memories of Mariano Felix and sexy fantasies starring Brian Cosgrove.
Maybe she should cancel their swimming plans.
She couldn’t believe she’d told him the truth about John. When he’d asked if her husband had been a good father, she should have said yes. Portraying John as an ideal partner would have discouraged Brian from entertaining romantic thoughts.
But she’d looked into his dark, earnest eyes and was unable to tell the lie. Now she felt overexposed, almost desperate. She might as well have complained about John’s performance in their bedroom, which had become increasingly perfunctory.
They’d never been a perfect couple, just a pretty facade. And his secrets had weighed her down for so long. In the months before his murder, she’d wanted to tell her mother and her best friend about his gambling habit. Pride and shame held her back. Maybe if she’d been more honest, she could have built a support system. John’s friends and family might have been able to convince him to seek help. Too late, she’d learned an important lesson about addiction: secrets keep people sick.
She spent most of the morning doing chores. It was New Year’s Eve, and the kids would be going back to school on Monday. She’d return to work, decorating an endless assembly line of frozen cakes.
When the laundry was done and the dishes were put away, she told the girls that they were going to the pool with Brian. They cheered and danced around the living room before running to don their swimsuits. Leah made cucumber sandwiches and packed a Thermos of lemonade for their picnic lunch.
Stomach fluttering with anticipation, she searched her closet for her own bathing suit. Although she didn’t swim, she owned a sleek navy one-piece for appearances’ sake. John had often taken her to pool parties at the homes of his wealthy friends. She’d met Mariano Felix at one such occasion.
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