tolerance.”
He stared at her for a moment, then shook his head. “You talked to Simon at the hospital?”
“All he said was that you were coming home,” she said simply.
He considered her for a moment longer. His friend Simon Thurson was the only person Shane had given even the sketchiest details of his experiences to. Finally he shrugged. “I don’t know what you heard about my injuries, but I’m fine.” At least he would be, once he’d slept for about three days and regained some more mobility in his shoulder. With any luck, he could be back in the operating room within a couple weeks.
Her mouth twisted. “You’re far from fine, Shane. But if you’re convinced, who am I to argue?” She went past him to the couch and sat. He remained where he was. With the remarkable clarity of hindsight he realized he shouldn’t have come. It wasn’t like him to entertain himself by pulling scabs off barely healed wounds. And the wound caused by their breakup was every bit as painful as the injury in his shoulder.
His free hand clenched into a fist. No, he shouldn’t have come. They could have said anything that needed saying in a terse phone call. He’d told himself that the entire time he was in the drugstore. At the hospital. But still he found himself making the drive out to the ranch, calling himself a fool with every passing mile.
“Why don’t you sit down?” Cassie suggested.
“I won’t be staying.” He was far more comfortable keeping a distance between them. Even if he sat on a nearby chair, he’d be able to smell the shampoo in her hair, something fresh and lemony. He’d be able to see the softness of her skin, so at odds with the denim shirt and jeans. He’d remember all the times he’d stripped her and possessed every inch of that softness. Explored it by touch and sight and taste. The nights he’d lain awake with her in his arms, unwilling to sleep and miss a single moment of that magic.
And he’d remember anew the agony of their parting.
“Let’s not do this again, Cass.” His voice was raw. So were his feelings, though he’d half convinced himself he no longer possessed any. “Nothing’s changed, and there’s no reason to put ourselves through hell. It’s over between us.” The words burned his throat as he uttered them. But if they affected her, there was no sign of it on her face.
“You’re right—it is over.” She’d made the biggest mistake of her life when she’d trusted him with her secret. When she’d expected love to mean acceptance. It wasn’t a mistake she’d repeat. And it had been an act of supreme self-indulgence. She knew what the future held for her. She’d dreamed it all too often in excruciating Technicolor detail. It would be hideously unfair to put a loved one through the pain caused by her death. It was better, far better, to limit the number of people it would impact.
She quieted the inner voice jeering at that thought and concentrated on the man before her. “I won’t pretend I wasn’t tempted to avoid this meeting. But you deserve to know the truth.”
“The truth?” A corner of his mouth pulled downward. “I’m not sure you and I can ever agree on exactly what that means.”
His words stung like tiny angry bees. “This has enough scientific evidence to satisfy even you. I’m pregnant. You’re going to be a father.”
Chapter 3
The news punched through him like a fist to the solar plexus, leeching his lungs of oxygen. Senses reeling, Shane shook his head a little, as if that would help him make sense of the incomprehensible.
“But…we were careful.” As soon as he managed the words, he winced. As a doctor, he knew better than most the limitations of birth control. But shock was hazing his thinking, making logic difficult to summon. Cassie was pregnant. And the baby was his. He never entertained a doubt about that.
Raking her still slender form with his gaze, he demanded, “How far along?”
“Fourteen weeks.”
“The bed-and-breakfast,” he murmured.
“Probably.”
For a moment their gazes caught, an unspoken sea of memories eddying between them. Sunlight slanting through the sheers at the window, long leisurely mornings spent in bed as the world had seemed to narrow its focus to just the two of them.
Before the memories could ensnare him, he neatly sidestepped them. “Who’s your doctor? Have you had any tests yet? How’s your health?” He cocked his head, his gaze turning professional. “How much weight have you gained? You are eating, aren’t you?”
“Relax. I’m seeing Dr. Godden.”
Satisfied, he gave a quick nod. “Joanne’s good.”
“And—” a corner of her mouth rose “—you should know by now that nothing could ever keep me from eating.”
She managed to surprise a smile from him. “I remember. But nausea often accompanies the first few months of pregnancy. It’d be better if you could get through it on your own, but there are medications available if you can’t.”
“No nausea. I’ve gained two pounds already.”
He frowned, crossed to sit next to her. “That’s not enough.”
“Dr. Godden isn’t concerned. You shouldn’t be either.” She hesitated then, before adding briskly, “I mean that, too. I don’t want you to worry about anything. Neither of us planned on this, but I’m going to keep the baby and raise it. I thought it would be easiest all around if I gave it my last name. You can be involved to whatever degree is comfortable for you, or not at all, if that’s what you want. The decision is yours.” The last few sentences came out in a rush, as if she’d practiced them long and hard and wanted them uttered before she lost her nerve.
She rose then, and turned toward the door. “I know this is a lot to lay on you all at once as soon as you returned, so feel free to take your time thinking about it. You can let me know whatever you decide.”
There was a little flare of anger directly beneath his heart. As a dismissal, it wasn’t particularly subtle. Reaching for her hand, he tugged on it. She bounced down on the couch again, and he kept her there, not releasing his grip. He waited for her to look at him before saying, “A tidy little speech, Cass, designed to let me off the hook. But you’re overlooking one thing—this baby is mine, too.” Saying the words out loud somehow made them feel more real. “And I’d never walk away. I intend to be fully involved.” Abandonment came easily to some men. Certainly his father had never looked back when he’d left over twenty years ago. There was no way Shane would ever do that to his own child. And the fact that Cassie had thought he might hurt more than it should.
“I…” Her gaze went to their hands. “All right, then. I just wanted you to know you had a choice.”
He smiled humorlessly. “No. I don’t.” He didn’t expect her to know that, or to understand it. Emotional scars could last far longer than physical ones. Every experience, especially the painful ones, left indelible marks on a person’s character. And it wasn’t in Shane’s to walk away from his responsibility, to let his child grow up without a father in its life. He hadn’t changed that much.
“Okay, then.” She tried for a smile, didn’t quite manage to
