She’d told him the truth, but by then it was too late, and neither of them cared.
Seven months later, while Tristan was on an aircraft carrier in the Indian Ocean, Jessie had been rushed to the base hospital for an emergency Caesarean. The baby, a girl, had weighed a little over three pounds, and since Tristan hadn’t been there to say otherwise, Jessie named her Samantha June.
That’s who the bear’s for, Jessie realized as the pounding heat ebbed from her body. Whoever was responsible for warming her quarters with flowers and a fruit basket would have known Tristan had a teenage daughter. The Teddy bear had obviously been meant for Sammi June. And they’d forgotten to call her.
She sat up, hands smoothing the bear’s fur and straightening the yellow ribbon around its neck. She felt terrible, ashamed; she was a miserable excuse for a mother. She’d meant to phone Sammi June while Tris was here. Of course, she hadn’t known he was going to be with her for such a short time, but the truth was, she’d forgotten. She’d been so focused on herself and on Tris. She’d been selfish, thinking like a lovesick girl instead of somebody’s mother.
Placing the Teddy bear back in its nest amongst the pillows, Jessie wiped her face with the sleeves of her sweater and reached for the phone.
Chapter 4
Sammi June set the computer on Hibernate, shut it down, stretched, then shoved back her chair and bent over to slip on her running shoes. She tied the laces and grabbed up her fanny pack as she stood, shaking the cramps out of her legs. She was halfway out the door, buckling on the fanny pack as she went, when the phone rang. She said a bad word and thought about ignoring it; she was starving, and on Sundays the cafeteria’s hot food line closed early. And frankly, after working on that stupid psych paper all day, she was not in the mood for yogurt.
But then a little shiver ran through her, and before she could stop it came the thought: What if it’s my dad?
She went back into the room, closed the door carefully behind her and picked up the cordless handset from its nest in the pile of comforter and discarded clothing on her bed. She punched the button and said, “Samantha June’s Funeral and Pizza Parlor, how may I help you?”
“Hey,” said her mother’s voice.
“Hey,” said Sammi June. Her knees gave out unexpectedly and she sat down on the bed. “So, where are you?” Her hand, the one holding the phone, had started to shake, so she lay back in the jumble, pillowing her head on one arm.
“I’m in Landstuhl. Right now I’m in my room in the guest house. Hon’, I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier—”
“’S’okay, I’ve been working on this stupid paper all day, anyway. I was just going out to get something to eat.” And she rushed on without pausing for breath, “So, is Dad with you?”
She heard her mom take a breath. “Not right now, no. He was, but he left about half an hour ago. He had to go back to the hospital. Hon’, I’m so sorry—”
“The hospital! What’s wrong? Gramma said he was okay.”
“No, no—it’s nothing—there’s nothing wrong, he just has to stay in the hospital so they can monitor him for a little while longer, that’s all.”
“But you’ve seen him.” Sammi June pressed the phone hard against her ear.
“Yeah…” Her mom’s voice sounded very gentle, the way it did sometimes when she was totally exhausted after a gut-wrenching day in the NICU where she worked. Then she added in a brighter tone, “Hey, we had dinner together—fried chicken and peach cobbler,” and Sammi June could almost see her mom trying to straighten up and put on a happy face for her. Which really bugged her. I’m not a child, she thought. Jeez, Mom, like I need for you to sugarcoat everything for me.
“So,” she said, putting it right out there, “how is he?”
“He’s okay. He’s…pretty good, considering,” her mother said, too carefully. Sammi June wanted to yell at her.
“Well, what does he look like?” She felt like she was suffocating. Even after she realized she was holding her breath, she couldn’t seem to let it go. “I mean, you know. Does he look…” Like my dad? Like the dad I remember? Like, of course he doesn’t, stupid. Duh, he’s been in a prison camp for eight years. Finally she settled for, “Has he changed a lot?” And then, eyes closed, she waited, pleading silently. Don’t lie to me, Momma. I’ll never forgive you if you lie to me. Don’t treat me like a child.
After what seemed like forever, she heard her mother take another careful breath. “Well, he’s…thin.”
“He always was,” said Sammi June, struggling to breathe.
“No—” there was a little rush of laughter “—really thin.”
“You mean like…concentration-camp thin?”
“Oh—Lord. Well…” Her mother was laughing still, but in a way that made Sammi June wonder if she was crying at the same time. She felt a sob pushing against her own throat, but was determined to keep it there. “No, not that bad. Just…way too thin, is all. And his hair’s got a lot of gray in it, especially at the temples. It looks kind of good, actually. You know—”
“Distinguished,” said Sammi June, and cleared her throat. “Does he have any—you know…scars? I mean, did they—” But she couldn’t bring herself to ask.
“I don’t know,” her mother said quietly. “He…doesn’t like to talk about…what happened to him. He has a knee injury—he’ll probably have to have surgery for that, eventually. Right now he’s using a cane, but he says that’s just temporary. Honey, we have to give him time, that’s all. We have to be patient.”
“I know…that’s okay, I was just wondering. So—what happens now? Are you gonna see him tomorrow?”
“In the evening, yes, I think so.” There was another little laugh. “Tomorrow I’m going shopping, actually. I have to buy him something to wear. He hasn’t got any civilian clothes at all.”
“No way.” Sammi June pushed herself upright. “Okay, this is cool. This is your big chance, Mom. Europe’s way ahead of us. Promise you’ll get him some really stylin’ stuff, okay?”
Her mom laughed. “I’m gonna try. Listen, you better go on and get something to eat, now, okay? I just wanted to let you know what’s going on. Everything’s okay. We’ll call you tomorrow when he’s here, I promise.”
“Sure, that’s fine.” Sammi June hugged herself and the phone and wished she could stop shivering. “Uh, Momma? Is there…do you think there’s any chance he might still call tonight?”
There was a little pause before her mother said gently, “I don’t know, honey, he was pretty tired when he left. Late as it is here, I think you should just go on and get yourself something to eat. We’ll call tomorrow, for sure. Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay. Sure.”
“Okay then. Bye-bye, honey. Love you.”
“Love you, too, Momma. Bye.”
For
