doesn’t try to reach for toys, and he hardly ever makes a sound. He’s a lot smaller than Tess, too. At first, I thought he’s just a really laid-back kid, but now I’m afraid he’s actually behind. Lots of studies talk about how in vitro fertilization babies are at higher risk for developmental delays, and my two were from a frozen embryo adoption, too! What if all the antiembryo adoption people are right, and it’s our fault that Patrick is delayed? They all say that frozen embryos are weaker and more prone to developing birth defects.
The pediatrician said we need to look for hidden ear infections. But I’m worried it might be worse than that. We love Patrick, but if there’s something wrong with him, Darren will be devastated. He’s under a lot of pressure to do the whole “have a son to take over the farm” thing with his family. What if Patrick can’t do that?
And yeah, I got the guilt thing going on, too. It shouldn’t matter if there’s anything wrong with Patrick or not. We will still love him anyway. We shouldn’t be disappointed or put expectations on our kids. I know. And I feel bad because I’m doing it anyway.
How’s that for total honesty?
Brenna
| From: | Marianne Hausten <[email protected]> |
| To: | Brenna L <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: [SAHM I AM] TOTW June 1: Total Honesty |
Brenna, thanks for being so honest. I don’t want to make light of your worries, but I used to also worry a lot about Helene. She’s always been so obstinate and headstrong— I thought maybe she had some psychopathic disorder. But she’s just strong willed. And now that she’s three and a half, she’s getting better. My slowly stiffening backbone about being firm with her is helping a lot, too.
I guess I’m trying to say that ten months old is a little early to be too worried about developmental stuff. Kids grow at different rates. Your pediatrician wasn’t too worried, right?
I’ve got “boy troubles”, too—of a different sort—with little Neil, who is now just over two years old. Actually, it’s not him so much as it is me. Me and my lifelong inability to stand up to anybody or deal with disapproval or conflict. I’ve gotten so much more confident about being firm with Helene that I thought it wouldn’t be a problem with Neil, either. And it’s not…well, not directly.
I know I’m not making much sense, but I don’t have the energy to explain it right now. I definitely don’t want to get into it on the loop quite yet. That’s my honest confession. I still have a lot of clashes with Helene. Sometimes I just can’t deal with any more conflicts, and this thing with Neil will definitely create a controversy there.
Anyway, try not to stress about Patrick. He’s probably just fine.
Love,
Marianne
| From: | The Millards <[email protected]> |
| To: | SAHM I Am <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: [SAHM I AM] TOTW June 1: Total Honesty |
Okay, everyone, here’s my deep, dark confession. I haven’t told ANYBODY on the loop this yet…
About a month ago, my husband, Shane, got a huge promotion—to VP of the web design firm he works for. Came with a big raise, and we’re all really happy about it. But here’s the kicker— Shane and I had a long discussion. Seems he’s STILL not satisfied about my ability to say “no” to doing stuff. I mean, it’s a lot better than it was a couple of years ago. We’re still homeschooling, and with four kids—one of whom is now a teenager—there’s bound to be a lot of activities. We only let the kids pick three extra things per week to be involved in. So it’s only twelve total! But I’m not directing the church Christmas production, or teaching the marriage classes, or coordinating the home school co-op classes. I still lead a women’s Bible study group, but that’s ministry so it doesn’t count!
I tried to explain all this to Shane. He says that since I am pathologically unable to maintain anything resembling a sane schedule that his only alternative is to…
HIRE EXTRA HELP!
That’s right—he forced me to hire a housekeeping service! And he’s making me allow a teen home school student come over to be a “mommy’s helper.” As if I need help or something! Can you believe it?
So now, I have to go away once a week and when I come home, the Happy Housekeepers have been all over my home—straightening, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the bathrooms. Yes, they CLEAN my bathrooms! It’s so embarrassing.
And Tasha, the homeschooler, comes twice a week to tutor and watch Evelyn and Audra so I can take Cassia to dance lessons and Tyler to home school band. (He’s playing the saxophone—isn’t that terrific?)
My life is ruined. A mom ought to be able to manage running her own household. I didn’t need help. What do these Happy Housekeepers know about my home anyway? Well, other than that Tyler sometimes misses the toilet bowl…
Oh my goodness! They KNOW my son has bad aim!
I can never show my face again in public.
Jocelyn
| From: | Dulcie Huckleberry <[email protected]> |
| To: | SAHM I Am <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: [SAHM I AM] TOTW June 1: Total Honesty |
She’s mad that her husband insisted on hiring a housekeeping service? Somebody shoot her.
JocelynM: Hey! Be nice!
Dulcet: I am. I could have said you sounded like Rosalyn. But I didn’t.
JocelynM: Yeah, okay. You were nice.
Dulcet: Seriously, what is your problem? I would LOVE to have a housekeeping service. We can’t afford it.
JocelynM: I just feel like if I’d been doing the job I should be doing, Shane wouldn’t have gone and hired someone else to do it. How would you feel if you had to hire someone else to do your design work for you?
Dulcet: If I had to hire another designer, I’d be thrilled because it would mean my business is really growing. Most people view hiring as a step up.
JocelynM: It just feels like a big failure to me. Maybe I *should* be shot.
Dulcet: I’m sorry.
JocelynM: I gotta run. Tonight is piano lessons and we have to leave in a half hour.
Dulcet: Have fun.
JocelynM signed off at 6:18:04 p.m.
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