Anna took a breath. ‘I just wanted you to know that Maurice has got a new home and he’s very happy.’
Bert sat forward abruptly. ‘Are you from the cat prison?’
Anna was taken aback by Bert’s turn of phrase. ‘No, I’m not from the cat rescue. I’m the person who’s given Maurice a new home.’ Anna finished with her warmest smile. The old woman next to Bert had woken up and she was leaning forward too as she fiddled with her hearing aid.
‘You took my cat?’ Bert’s voice was rising.
‘Well, I chose him,’ said Anna, struggling to maintain her smile. This was uncomfortable and unexpected.
‘They had no right to let you take him. He’s my property!’ Bert’s pale face swiftly coloured up as his volume increased.
Within seconds everyone in the room was awake and a whistling broke out from another nearby hearing aid. Anna felt the elderly eyes all fixed on her. ‘But when you moved in here, you signed him over to the rescue.’ Anna liked to stick with the facts; it was frequently the best policy and she hoped it would work now.
‘This is temporary. I’m not staying here. When I go home, Maurice is coming with me.’
‘Who’s Maurice?’ asked the old lady next to Bert.
‘My cat,’ said Bert and Anna together. Bert ground his teeth together and Anna suspected they weren’t his own.
Anna reached for the envelope. ‘There’s a photo of Maurice I thought you’d like to see. He’s in his favourite place on the …’
‘His favourite place is with me,’ said Bert, folding his arms very deliberately and glowering at Anna.
She thought for a moment. For one thing, she didn’t know if Bert had all his marbles, but what she did know was that his house was up for sale and the cat was legally hers. ‘Okay, how about this? I’ll look after Maurice at my place until you’re ready to go home?’
Bert squinted at her and she wasn’t sure if that was progress or not. ‘What will that cost me?’
‘Nothing. He was unhappy at the rescue centre and he’s happy now. It doesn’t make sense to move him again. Agreed?’
‘How will I get in touch with you when I want him back?’
Anna fumbled on this question and blurted out, ‘I’ll come back and see you, and you can tell me then.’
‘Hmm,’ was all Bert muttered. He broke his stare for the first time and looked around the room. ‘What are you lot gawking at?’ There was lots of shuffling and one loud fart before most of the residents pretended to go back to sleep. Bert’s tone changed. ‘And you promise you’ll come back … Anna?’
‘Cross my heart, Bert,’ said Anna, and she meant it.
One sunny morning Sophie joined Anna for her walk across the park to the bus stop. ‘To what do I owe this pleasure?’ asked Anna, pleased to see her friend.
‘The Kraken is having the kids because it’s a teacher training day and I thought I’d avoid the hellish parking for a change … oh, and I’d like to spend some time with my best friend.’
‘Excellent,’ said Anna, breathing in the May air full of the dewy scent of the lilac bushes.
‘And I wanted to have a chat.’ Anna wondered where this was going. ‘I think I have a crush on Hudson,’ said Sophie.
‘What?’ asked Anna, with a half laugh.
‘Don’t laugh, I mean it,’ said Sophie, getting teary. ‘I’m thinking about him all the time. If he talks to me I get all hot and flustered like I did when I was fourteen and Stephen Bethel used to sit next to me in Geography.’
‘That’s your hormones playing tricks.’
‘But it’s all the time, Anna. And I keep dreaming about him.’ Her eyes wandered off to somewhere near the pond. ‘It’s great stuff. Really sexy. If I could film my dreams I’d make a fortune …’
‘La, la, la, not listening,’ chanted Anna, putting her fingers in her ears until Sophie stopped talking.
‘I thought you’d understand.’ Sophie’s bottom lip wobbled.
‘Really? Me? I can’t even bring myself to like Hudson, let alone drool over him. Plus, he’s a gay man in a committed relationship.’
‘But you’re my friend.’ Sophie coughed to disguise the choke of emotion.
Anna gave her arm an affectionate pat. ‘Yes, and you are mine. Though Dave’s my friend too. How would he feel if he knew about this?’
‘I can’t help my dreams. And even if I told Dave that I fancy Hudson, he wouldn’t be bothered because who’s going to fancy me.’
‘You’re gorgeous.’
‘So’s Hudson. He’s perfect, isn’t he?’
‘I’m not keen and he definitely doesn’t like me. Yesterday he did a coffee run and I swear he missed me out on purpose. And then he didn’t tell me the risk review meeting was cancelled …’
‘It’s just you. Even the witches like him,’ said Sophie. Silvie and Janey were renowned for their bitchy comments and therefore known as the Witches of East Wing.
‘I heard he brought in Marks and Spencer’s biscuits. They’re easily bought that pair.’
They walked up the path to the main park gates and the bus stop and Anna noted the multitude of dog roses in bloom, as they passed. She let out a giant yawn.
‘Don’t,’ said Sophie following suit.
‘Sorry, someone kept me awake playing with his balls half the night.’
‘Tell me about it. Dave’s the same,’ said Sophie and they both burst out laughing.
After a good natter to Sophie on the bus Anna was feeling optimistic, but the sight of Roberta at her desk diluted her cheerfulness somewhat.
‘Morning, Roberta,’ she said as she approached.
‘Are you a feminist, Anna?’
Anna sensed a trick question but could only answer honestly. ‘Ye-es,’ she said cautiously.
‘You don’t sound very sure?’
‘I believe in people being treated as individuals regardless of gender.’
Roberta’s nodding indicated she approved of this response. ‘Apparently someone has complained that the central heating is set at a sexist temperature.’
Anna blinked slowly. ‘And what temperature would that be exactly?’
‘Cold enough for things to be noticed through material,’ said Roberta, her demeanour
