‘Well, I think you’re very brave,’ she said. ‘Oh, two fillets please.’ She turned to pay the fishmonger and Kathleen sighed with relief. She could not say what she really meant: she was glad Ray was dead.
She waved goodbye to Clarrie’s sister as she reached the head of the queue. The fishmonger recognised her and chatted easily as he took her order, making sure she got a good fillet and wrapping it carefully. Kathleen was pleased. That would be enough for her to eat simply grilled, with a little left over to break up and mash into potato for Brian. He wasn’t keen on fish on its own yet. She began to daydream about when he might be old enough to enjoy fish and chips as she pushed the pram back down between the stalls towards the main road.
There it was again, that strange prickling at the back of her neck. Kathleen turned round in puzzlement. A movement several stalls away caught her eye and she squinted in the bright sunshine to make out what it was. A figure had gone behind a striped awning but now appeared to be standing still. From what she could see of the person’s clothes, it was a man. He moved a little but did not step into the pathway between the stalls. It was almost as if he was teasing her.
He swayed towards the edge of the stall and then back again. This was silly, she told herself. What grown man would play games like this? She was seeing trouble where there was none. She moved to the next stall and examined the bolts of fabric, more for the pleasure of enjoying their contrasting patterns than with the intention of buying anything.
Just as she was about to turn around and resume her journey home, the man reappeared, but backlit by the sunshine she could not make out any definite details. He seemed to take a step towards her and then moved back into the shadow of the awning. It was very peculiar, to say the least.
Kathleen stood still as the crowds milled around her. What was all that about? Was he having a stupid bit of fun, or was he following her for some more sinister reason? Shaking her head, she told herself not to be fanciful. She had to get back to her dingy rooms on Jeeves Place and cook the fish before the heat of the day spoiled it. She didn’t have time to worry about men behaving oddly. She would put his strange behaviour straight out of her mind.
Yet as she pushed the pram along the main road, heavier now with all its shopping, the kernel of worry would not be dislodged.
Gladys flapped her duster out of the common-room window, careful to avoid two of the nurses who were propping their bikes in the cycle rack at the side of the yard. The dust rose in a puff, the air almost still and very warm. She glanced up at the sky, wondering if she might catch sight of any of the brave aircraft heading to the coast or Channel to defend the country from the Luftwaffe, in what was being described as the Battle of Britain. She wondered if she would have had the courage to be a pilot if she’d been a man. Sometimes she wished she could do more, something directly useful.
‘Penny for them.’ Alice stood right behind her.
Gladys wheeled around and almost banged her head on the window frame. ‘Oooh, you startled me.’ She still had to bite her lip not to call Alice ‘Miss’. Old habits died hard. ‘I was just looking for any planes. They must be up there somewhere. Going off to – what do they call them? – the dogfights.’
Alice came to stand beside her at the window and gazed into the cloudless blue. ‘Perhaps they’re further south. Or over Kent. It’s hard to say. But that’s where the dogfights are happening, apparently.’
Gladys nodded and then cleared her throat. ‘I been meaning to ask. How’s Edith? She’s so quiet around the place, I don’t like to speak to her direct.’
Alice took a moment. ‘She’s going to be all right,’ she said slowly. ‘She wouldn’t mind if you spoke to her, you know. She’s keeping going. The work helps.’
‘I can understand that.’ Gladys twisted her duster in her hands. ‘It’s so important, the work you all do.’
‘Well, so is yours,’ Alice pointed out. ‘We couldn’t manage if we didn’t have board and lodging all sorted out for us. It’s teamwork.’ She smiled but Gladys did not smile back.
‘I want to do more, Alice. I love going to the first-aid classes. I remember everything we’re taught. I wish I could read better and take exams and that.’
‘You’re improving so fast,’ Alice assured her, knowing that the young woman had hidden her shameful secret for years. Now she was finally learning she was making progress – but not enough yet to cope with nurses’ exams.
‘Anyway I can’t stop work to study. We need the cash, simple as that.’ Gladys grimaced. ‘Me ma can’t do without me wages, and I can always get home round the corner if something goes wrong with the little ones.’ It had been the burden of caring for her many younger siblings that had brought a halt to Gladys’s schooling in the first place.
‘If you keep up the reading and the first-aid course then something might come up,’ Alice ventured. ‘We don’t know what’s around the corner, but nurses will be needed even more than at the moment.’
‘Perhaps things will get easier when me sister is a bit older,’ Gladys replied, looking down at her feet as if she didn’t really believe it. ‘I was younger than she is now when I stopped everything to look after them. She helps a bit but not like what I had to. She’s a good girl though, doesn’t try to get out of her chores like some.’ She shook her head. It all seemed impossibly far in the future and gave her a headache to think about it. She tried to change the subject. ‘Oooh, what’s that you got there, a letter?’
Alice’s hand went to her skirt pocket, where Gladys had noticed the corner of an envelope sticking out. ‘Yes, it came earlier.’ She broke into a grin. ‘It’s from Dermot. Do you remember him? The locum doctor who helped Dr Patcham out last autumn.’
Gladys took a moment to think who she was talking about. ‘The one everyone got in a tizz about? I didn’t meet him but I know all you nurses went into a flap every time he was mentioned. Didn’t some swap shifts so they could stand more chance of seeing him? There was a right to-do.’
Alice laughed. ‘Not me. I’ve known him for years. He was a trainee doctor when I began nursing, back home in Liverpool. But you’re right – the first thing anyone notices is his looks. Not that they’ll be much use to him at the moment.’ She drew out the letter and reread it. ‘He’s back from France, thank goodness, and survived more or less in one piece. Now he’s somewhere near Southampton at a guess, as he can’t say exactly, but hints that it’s not too far from where he was before. He’s got his hands full with casualties from the fighting overhead. Those dogfights that you were talking about, I expect.’
‘See, he’s doing something useful,’ Gladys said.
‘So are you,’ Alice reminded her. ‘Who knows, we might make a nurse of you yet.’
Peggy was sure her mother-in-law suspected something. The older woman hadn’t been waiting up for her when she’d come in late from the pub that time, hardly able to remember what she’d been saying or doing after all the port and lemons, but ever since then she’d been on the alert, even more keen to point out the smallest mistake. She always claimed it was for Peggy’s own good, so that she wouldn’t make the same error in the future, but Peggy was permanently on the verge of screaming.
She knew she’d given her
