and had generously shown Lily the ropes from her very first day. Reg had met her on the short leave he’d had in the autumn when Gladys had come to tea.
It was nice of Reg to remember Gladys, and she’d be touched, Lily knew. Shy, and to be honest rather plain, Gladys wasn’t someone who usually made much of an impression.
‘Are we going? Or is there an all-out strike I don’t know about?’
It was Jim: they needed to get moving, or they’d be in the late book!
They’d only reached the corner when Jim dropped his bombshell.
‘I’m leaving you here. I’m going in the other direction.’
‘What … why?’ queried Lily. ‘Is there an all-out strike that I don’t know about?’
‘I’m not going to work,’ he replied. ‘I’m going for a medical. An Army medical.’
Lily stared at him. After the realisation she’d had last night, this was too much.
‘But … already? Why? You’re not eighteen yet. Not for weeks.’
‘Doesn’t matter. I decided last week. Get the medical out of the way, then as soon as it’s my birthday, I’ll be ready to go.’
Lily swallowed hard, as best she could around the lump in her throat.
‘Hang on. You’ve done all this … without telling us?’
What she really meant was ‘without telling me’, but she could hardly say that.
‘Come off it, Lily. You’ve known it was coming. Anyway, I’m telling you now.’
‘I hate it when people say that! That’s no answer!’ Lily burst out. ‘And never mind me, what about Mum? Don’t you owe it to her to have said something? And why – why on earth didn’t you say anything last night? Reg gave you the chance – he fed you the line when he was talking about your call-up!’
Now she remembered the half-smile, the shrug, and the lack of a straight answer to Reg’s question. Now they spoke volumes.
‘Lily,’ said Jim evenly, ‘be fair. It was Reg’s first leave for ages, and his last for a good long while, from what he told us. Yesterday was about him being home with his family. I didn’t want to shove myself into that. And for goodness’ sake, it’s only a medical, there’s nothing to say till I pass!’
Lily looked at him, disbelieving. If he really thought that … and she’d thought they were friends! Didn’t friends share things? Jim looked straight back at her. Fine, thought Lily, if he wants a challenge … she certainly wasn’t going to be the first to look away – and she wasn’t.
‘I have to go,’ he said finally, unpeeling his eyes from hers. She’d won – but if there was ever a case of winning the battle but not the war, this was it. ‘You should too. Or you’ll be late.’
‘Thanks for your concern.’
Jim obviously noted the sarcasm but said nothing and took a step away. One step, but the first of many, perhaps.
‘I’ve cleared it with the staff office,’ he said calmly. ‘I’ve booked the whole day off. I don’t know how long it’ll take.’
‘No, well, you’ll want to be measured for your kit straight away, I expect, and put your name down for the most dangerous mission they’ve got,’ said Lily, seething at his forethought, furious that the typist in the staff office had known what she hadn’t. ‘Might as well get on with it, eh? The sooner you get issued with your bayonet and battledress the better.’
‘Don’t be like that.’
‘That’s another pointless and annoying thing people say!’
Because ‘like what’ exactly? How dare he presume to know what she was feeling? If he’d had any thought for her feelings at all, they wouldn’t be having this scene in the first place.
‘Lily,’ he spoke to her as if she were a child, ‘I’m going. There’s no talking to you in this mood.’
‘Well, what do you want me to say?’ Lily retorted childishly, then added, ‘Oh, I know. Of course. Good luck.’
‘Thank you,’ said Jim levelly. ‘See you tonight.’
And he was gone, straightening his glasses, pulling down his cuffs, tall and lanky in his threadbare overcoat. Oh, why had it come out like that? Angry and bitter and sullen, when what she really felt was … what was it? She felt betrayed – he’d betrayed their friendship, the closeness she’d thought they had. But more than that, she felt … bereft. And in a flash, she knew she felt for him far more than she’d properly feel for a friend.
Lily blinked – hard – and looked down at her feet. She could still see Jim walking away, but this time he was wearing an Army greatcoat and he was walking away down a crowded station platform to the troop train. She blinked again. Can’t cry, won’t cry, she thought, looking even more determinedly down. But the pavement was slimed with dirt from the melted snow, and her boots, which just a short while ago she’d been so proud of, looked shabby and pathetic, and she hated, hated this war.
Lily made it to work in time – just. She’d been there for six months now, but having a job, and a job at Marlow’s at that, was still enough of a novelty for her to feel a secret thrill every morning when she walked through the door, even at the staff entrance around the back, and even on a cold, dark Monday. Every morning – until this one.
It had never before seemed like dull routine, but it did today; clocking in with the timekeeper, taking off her outdoor things and stowing them in her locker in the clatter and din of the women’s cloakroom, always especially loud at the start of the week as everyone swapped stories of their precious Sunday off. Waiting her turn for the speckled mirror to check her appearance, brushing stray hairs and lint from her skirt, and hurrying along the long corridor past the goods lift and up the back stairs with the rest of the staff …
Even stepping through the double doors on to the sales floor didn’t give her heart its usual joyful lift. The store always looked so beautiful first thing, so pristine and tidy, with the faint strafe marks on the carpet from the cleaners’ vacuums, the counters gleaming and the goods deftly displayed. Though the heating was turned to its lowest setting, some of the overhead lights had had their bulbs removed – another Government order – and the stock on the rails was thin, the first floor at Marlow’s, in comparison with the increasing drabness of everything else in life, still looked impressive, glamorous, even.
She glanced automatically across to Furniture, as she usually did. Though they walked to work together and clocked in at the same time, Jim always beat her to the sales floor, because men never had to spend so long over their appearance, did they? Lily had seen it done enough times at home – a quick duck in the front of the mirror, smooth their hair, and that was it. It was a source of much envy to Lily. Even though she’d got much better at managing them for work, her strong-minded blonde curls still required a lot of handling and were the subject of many silent prayers – and curses.
She wouldn’t be the only one who’d miss Jim when he left, Lily thought. With his absence today, it had fallen to the new junior on Furniture to try to anchor a stand-up price card
