us to be big and important. Or the other way around. This is completely normal. In communication, it is always a question of who leads, who follows, who dominates, who submits.
In every encounter, in any conversation, in any situation where at least two people are involved, status is negotiated, usually without realizing it. Think of it as an unconscious adjustment and positioning of the persons to each other.
It always depends on one's own
In everything we express, in the way of speaking and in the body language, we supply not only the content but also our current status relationship with our opposite: Who leads and who follows.
From a woodcut perspective, it works like this: if you feel “small”, you are in a so-called low status; if you are confident and feel superior to your counterpart, you are in high status.
It does not depend on the rank order?
Status, as it is to be understood here, has nothing to do with hierarchy, titles or possessions. But only with your own personality and the resulting behavior. So it works in all areas of society according to the same rules.
Of course you can not completely decouple it from the social hierarchy. But that is not crucial here. Your own status depends considerably on how you see yourself. And in comparison to other people. I have only modified and developed this principle on our self-management and communication behavior.
Swiftness First Aid: Your mental protective shield against attacks
// By Peter Kensok, Petra Schächtele-Philipp
If ignoring does not help, you should be aware of what exactly bothers you about the situation - and do something about it.
From positive thinking to affirmation
Talk to yourself well. If no one is listening, like to say loudly: “I am calm. One by one. How do I find that? Calm blood, everything will be fine. ” The pastor and author Norman Vincent Peale became the most popular representative of positive thinking outside of psychotherapy. Even in the new millennium, his approach among mental techniques is by no means old style and even increases in the concept of Affirmations by Noah St. John.
Other than the affirmations, affirmations trigger actively shaping processes on a mental level - and this through a small and powerful “editorial” intervention.
Like a counter-charm
An example is a wailing whine of your partner or your partner. First, be aware that there is a subtle way of control that you can consciously accept or reject.
This is particularly difficult if, for example, tears are the "usual" means of choice to appeal to your helpfulness and compliance. Here, too, the separation of information and emotion helps in terms of quick wit and distance.
Who's crying is not right
You will soon realize that tears are just an expression of momentary emotions and, at best, a statement of emotional concern that can be different for any other person in the same situation.
Tears do not say anything about whether someone is right and therefore basically a claim to our support.
Use inverse logic
You can also use this kind of inverse logic in your work and react completely differently than expected. Ask yourself:
What did the other actually say?
Is there any interruption that you have just found impertinent?
Is there a part that you might even agree with?
Agree instead of annoy
Praise this part, ignore the rest, and then continue your own argumentation
“Exactly Mr. Maier, we agree on point X. Let us now turn to the things that we should also consider and that complete the picture. ”
The art of not reacting
The goal of this exercise is to break away from the supposed obligation to emotionally respond to the behavior of others. Federal Chancellor Angelika Merkel is a true master in the art of acting responsively by non-reacting and thus initiating political decisions.
Their seeming idleness is one of the classic themes of every contemporary political cabaret artist. Not bad for a person who has been described as the most powerful woman in the world for years.
Take time for the reaction
Angela Merkel ignores media representatives and political opponents, no matter how loudly they demand a statement from the Chancellor. It adjourns rather than spontaneously making a directional decision, avoiding the possible traps of your opponents. The Chancellor takes the time to determine your reactions and then acts confidently.
Even in talkshows, you can admire the art of not responding as a form of quickness. The fact that politicians simply ignore a question or an attack from a counterparty is no accident, but a conscious strategy.
A strategy that works
And the apparent non-reaction as a strategy works! It shows the opponent how the balance of power is distributed: Whoever answers every question, is deeper in the hierarchy than the skillful silence.
A zero reaction shows that you can not predict the course of the conversation. If you want to be more playful in such situations, then you can still participate in the conversation with interest and benevolent silence, without having to react to the obstinacy of your opponents. Maybe you really do not want that.
Text comes from: Einfach schlagfertig: Zehn Methoden, die jeder anwenden kann (2015) by Peter Kensok, Petra Schächtele-Philipp, published by BusinessVillage Verlag, Reprints by friendly permission of the publisher.
Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.
Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».
Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.
Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги,
