There are two possibilities. The Nile is usually given as the longest river system on earth, providing water to eleven countries and stretching 4,200 miles (6,700 km) across Africa. However, until every tributary and source has been mapped and measured, we can never know for certain.
The river rises in the great lakes of central Africa and flows north until it reaches Egypt and the Mediterranean Sea.
The Amazon in South America is the other candidate. Usually described as the second-longest river in the world, it too has its champions and it is true that more water passes through the Amazon than the Nile each day. It begins in Brazil – or Peru, depending whom you ask. Rivers can run underground, which is one of the reasons it’s not always easy to measure their length and pin down the exact source. Still, these are by far the two longest – the Amazon is just over 4,000 miles (6,400 km).
Every boy learns a basic tie knot in school – the ‘four-in-hand’ or ‘schoolboy’ knot. You can probably do it in your sleep. However, that’s no reason to go through your whole life tying the same knot. The Windsor knot is just as easy to do – and it’s a neat, symmetrical knot. In From Russia, With Love, Ian Fleming writes that a Windsor knot is too flashy – a knot that rouses James Bond’s suspicions. If that was ever true, it isn’t now. The Windsor is used by the Royal Air Force and the armed forces of Canada and the United States. It suits a wide collar. Tie it a dozen times. Chances are, you’ll never go back to your primary-school knot again.
There is a ‘wide end’ and a ‘narrow end’ to a tie. That’s pretty much it for terminology.
1. Begin with the wide end ten or twelve inches longer than the narrow end. You’ll find a first position that works for you – and you’ll learn which shirt button (fourth or fifth) you prefer to align with the narrow end. Cross the long wide end over the narrow end.
2. Bring the wide end up underneath on the left side of the narrow end, pulling it through.
3. Take the wide end around the back of the narrow end and then over the right-hand side of the knot, pulling it through.
4. Completing the knot is very similar to the schoolboy knot. Take the wide end across, then up behind the knot. Poke it under the top layer and pull taut. Adjust as you would for the knot you know.
The result is pretty magnificent – a triangular, symmetrical knot – and simpler than most people realise. Left, right, across and under. Worth learning.
Left and right. Mary Evans Picture Library
‘Boxing is the first necessity for a gentleman, unless he wishes to be imposed upon whenever he comes into the company of rough men, stronger than himself. It is necessary, if he wishes to be able to protect a lady from insult, a position in which a man often finds himself.’
Colonel T.H. Monstery, Self-Defense for Gentlemen and Ladies
‘Everybody has a plan, until they get punched in the face.’
Mike Tyson, former world heavyweight boxing champion
Many years ago, a friend of the authors got into an altercation with a group of six men outside a pub in London. The friend was young and fit, but he knew he couldn’t possibly take on so many. As the leader went for him, he sprinted away – and, of course, they followed, howling, in his wake.
Men run at different speeds. When he risked a glance over his shoulder, he noticed they had begun to string out over distance. The slowest were quite far back, while one keen young greyhound was right out in front of the rest. Our friend slowed just a touch to let the man in the lead catch all the way up. He waited until his pursuer was almost on top of him, then stopped suddenly. The one chasing was not ready for the move. As he skidded to a halt, our friend hit him twice in the face and knocked him down. The ones behind were closing at high speed by then, so he set off again, sprinting away into the night.
Some time later, the same beads-on-a-string effect could be observed, with a different pursuer in the lead. Our friend knew he’d be less likely to surprise them a second time, but it had worked once and, frankly, had delighted him.
In short, it worked again. He stopped, hit the man rushing at him – and then raced away. The rest of them gave up the chase. Now, our friend couldn’t possibly have survived a battle with six opponents. There are few men alive who could. Yet with tactics and a steady nerve, he surely won that battle, and lived to tell the tale.
Years passed between hearing that true story and meeting a 5th Dan Aikido master named Stuart Akers – perhaps the deadliest man I have ever encountered. Stuart trained for long, gruelling sessions every day, working with weapons and multiple opponents. He and I discussed the beginnings of an idea that fighting techniques, as told by truly dangerous men, might make an interesting and unusual book. We’d have to travel around the country and interview a range of trained people to see what advice they would offer. We lined up serving members of the SAS and the Brigade of Gurkhas, a former British boxing champion, Tae Kwon Do and Karate masters, and even experienced nightclub bouncers. The question – some variant of ‘What advice would you give to someone in a fight?’ – was for the most experienced, for the ones who had survived dozens or hundreds of violent events. We also thought that there was a good chance there would be many stories like the one above, just on general principles.
The problem revealed itself very quickly. Regardless of the particular martial art or even war experience, the advice was very similar. Over and over again, we kept hearing the same things. It became obvious that there just wasn’t enough material for a book. It was possible, however, that there might be enough for a short chapter.
Here is what we were told. It is offered, not as an instruction manual on how to beat someone up, but as an insight into self-defence that you might one day find useful. A boy – or a man – should be able to defend himself to a degree, as a matter of pride and self-respect. After all, one simple truth of being a boy is this: you will be punched in the mouth at some point in your life. Possibly just once, possibly many times. How you react to that event will be something you chew over in your memory for years afterwards – in humiliation and regret, or enormous satisfaction. So try to get it right.
