we are right now.”
She paused. “It’s only for about six months. That’s how long it takes for the adoption to be final.” She looked sad. “Is it that hard to pretend you love me?”
The next evening, seated at the kitchen table at the house, Kira tried to finish the end-of-the-year paperwork, but her mind kept wandering back to Trace.
“What else is new?” she grumbled as she got up and went to the coffeemaker. After refilling her mug, she walked to the window and stared out at the breathtaking view of the Roan Plateau. She’d come to love this place. So different from the busy streets of Denver.
Five years ago she’d come to Winchester Ridge to start a new life. With her new college degree in hand, she’d come to interview for a teaching position at the high school. She’d gotten the job and needed a place to live.
The town’s real estate broker, Jarrett McKane, had shown her an apartment, then taken her to lunch. At the local café, they’d run into his younger brother, Trace.
It had been an instant attraction. After that she’d accepted a few more dates from Jarrett in the hope of running into Trace.
Finally two weeks later, the rugged rancher showed up at school and asked her out. It seemed like forever before he kissed her, but it had been well worth the wait. She closed her eyes, remembering his slow hands skimming over her, softly caressing her skin.
Trace’s kisses were lethal. She remembered each touch of his lips against her heated flesh. How hungry he’d made her, stirring her desire. Suddenly warmth ran down her spine settling low in her stomach. Her eyes shot open as she groaned in frustration.
“Oh God,” she whispered as she sank against the counter, her body aching. Never in her life had anyone made her feel the way Trace McKane had. After her parents’ automobile accident and death, she’d been alone for a lot of years. She’d thought she’d finally found a home, a place where she could belong.
Yesterday, she’d wanted to beg Trace to come home, but her own pain and hurt prevented it. She knew the past few months she’d been horrible to live with. But how could any man understand the anguish she’d gone through, not just with the pain of her disease, but knowing she hadn’t been able to conceive a baby?
She glanced back through the window, seeing the light on in the bunkhouse. “Oh, Trace, would you have loved me if you knew the truth about me?”
The past flooded back. She tried to push it away, but it always hovered close enough to force her to remember, taking the brightness away from any happiness she tried to grasp. Maybe the guilt had been what drove her, caused her to keep pushing Trace away.
The familiar sadness blanketed her. With each passing month her fertility problems had loomed ever darker. With the endometriosis, her chances diminished daily until the day would come when she’d probably need more surgery to relieve her of the recurring scar tissue.
But with the passing of time, her dreams seemed to be fading anyway, along with her marriage.
The sound of the back door opening caught Kira’s attention. Living this far out in the country, she knew it could only be Jonah Calhoun, the ranch foreman. Or Trace. Her heart raced as she waited, and her hopes were rewarded when her husband walked into the kitchen.
She tried to breathe but it was difficult. Trace McKane still affected her in the same way he had when she’d first met him. It was obvious he had just showered and put on a fresh shirt and jeans. Hope spread through her as she realized he might have done it for her.
“Hi,” she managed. “Would you like a cup of coffee?”
He nodded. “I could use one.” He walked to the counter and took the steaming mug she offered. Then Kira picked up her cup and started for the table.
“I thought caffeine was bad for your condition,” he said.
She was touched that he remembered. “I usually don’t drink it, but tonight I have work to finish. I need all the help I can get to stay alert.”
“I guess school is getting out soon. So it looks like it’s going to be a busy time for both of us.” He drank from his cup, then studied her. She felt the heat of his silver gaze spread over her, warming her. She hated they were talking so politely, when she desperately wanted him to take her into his arms and tell her he wanted to move back permanently to be her husband and father to her baby.
He glanced away. “Cal wants to know if you’re still planning the senior roundup to be here this year.”
She nodded. “I hope to. The kids have been talking about it for weeks. That is, if it’s okay with you?”
He shrugged. “Not a problem. Cal just wants a head count so we’ll know how many hands we need to hire.”
Trace leaned against the counter, trying to relax. Impossible. Since his dad’s death three years ago, he’d had to run the cattle operation mostly on his own.
“Do you have a date set for the roundup?” she asked.
“In two weeks.”
She nodded. “That’s perfect. Graduation will be over, so we don’t have to worry about interrupting study time.”
Trace hated the silence lingering between them. What he hated most of all was feeling like a stranger in his own house, a stranger to his wife.
“Have you given any thought to what we talked about?” she finally asked him.
“It’s kind of hard not to.” He shifted his weight trying to ease the tightness in his chest. “You tell a man you want to adopt a child, and in the same breath give him his walking papers.”
“I’m sorry, Trace. I never wanted it to turn out this way. But in the end it might be best for both of us.”
He heard the tears in her voice. “Is it really that easy, Kira? Well, it’s not for me. If I agree I also sign papers for this child. I’m responsible for him or her, too.”
“Trace, I know I’m asking a lot.”
“No, you don’t,” he interrupted her. “You’re asking me to move back into the house and take responsibility for a child, then just to walk away.”
She wanted more, so much more from him. But she couldn’t ask for another chance. “I don’t expect to have things be like they once were. Yes, we have to live in the same house, but if we’re lucky enough to get a baby, I’ll handle all the child’s needs. I won’t ask for any help.”
He was silent for a long time. “And after the six months, I sign away all rights to the child.”
He made it sound so calculating. She managed a nod.
He cursed and turned away.
“Please, Trace, I’m afraid if we tell the agency we’re not together now, then later, I’ll have to start from the beginning as a single parent.”
He drove his fingers through his hair. “I’m not sure I can do this, Kira.”
She bit down on her lower lip. “Please,
