uncomfortable as he searched for the right wording. “A more mature woman. Someone closer to the age of my mother.”
“Well, I’m not the age of your mother, but I can cook, clean and teach as well as anyone twice my age.” Suddenly, staying here and keeping the job was important to her. If Mr. Hopkins withdrew his offer, where else could she go? She couldn’t go back to Ohio. Emma and Palmer would never welcome her back, and if she went anywhere close by, they would make life impossible for her and anyone who was daring enough to help her. No. She had to find a way to stay out here in Nebraska. And since jobs for women in the area seemed to be scarce, her best chance was to convince Mr. Hopkins that she could be his housekeeper after all.
“I don’t doubt your capacity, miss. It’s just that on the farm it’s just me, the boys and my nephew, Jake. It wouldn’t be proper or right for us to have you out there with us, a single woman of your age. I’ll take care of paying your passage back to Ohio and then you can be with your sister again.” His words were meant to be reassuring but elicited the opposite effect.
“I can’t go back,” she whispered to herself. This was worse than not being picked up at the station. Before, she had wondered if something had interfered with Mrs. Hopkins’s arrival, but now she knew she had been judged unwanted again.
“Why not? Did something happen to your sister?”
“My brother-in-law...” She almost spilled out everything but then remembered the boys listening. Straightening her back, she lifted her chin. “I can’t. I’ll have to look for work around here.”
“I doubt there will be very much in the way of work for a decent woman.” He studied her for a moment more and then shook his head. “Why did you even apply to come out on the frontier at your age? You should be looking to settle down and marry. Have a bunch of kids of your own.”
He had no idea how she’d longed for that—a husband and children, a home of her own. But there had been no chance of that. No man in Ohio had any interest in a girl who wore her sister’s old castoffs and was too busy minding her nieces and nephews and looking after the housekeeping to go to any social events. This was the only way for her to leave her sister’s house—to find a job somewhere else. What would she do if that chance was taken away?
“I’m sure that once you get back to Ohio, some young man will be real glad to see that you’ve come back where you belong. And no doubt your family will be glad to have you home, too.”
“I wish it were that simple,” she answered. “I have lived with my sister and brother-in-law since my parents died when I was thirteen. My brother-in-law is very powerful... I can’t go back now that I left against their wishes.”
“So you disobeyed your sister and brother-in-law to come out here?”
“Yes. I came because...” She glanced at the boys and bit her lip. “I had to get away from Palmer—my brother-in-law. I didn’t feel quite...safe living with him anymore,” she finally finished, hoping he would understand what she had left unsaid. “But my sister, Emma, felt that I had a responsibility to stay and continue to take care of the house and the children. The day your last letter came to the house, Emma found it and I had to snatch it from her or I would never even have gotten the money or ticket. I ran all the way to my pastor’s house, and he and his wife helped me get away. I even have a letter from Pastor Gibbons for you...or at least it was to be given to Mrs. Hopkins.”
She reached down and once again sifted through the different letters until she found what she was looking for and handed it over to Mr. Hopkins. As she watched him unfold it, she felt dizzy. What if he still decided to send her back? What was she going to do?
“Have you made your choice?” The poor waitress was back, pad of paper in hand.
“Um...”
“Why don’t you try the chicken like me?” Tommy prompted.
“Or she could try the steak that I’m gonna get,” Willy suggested.
“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. She didn’t really feel like eating anything and was afraid that food wouldn’t stay in her churning stomach even if she could swallow past the huge lump of fear wedged in the middle of her throat. She took a sip of her water and willed it to stay down. “I guess I’m not really that hungry right now. It does all sound so good, but—”
“Don’t worry about the money,” Mr. Hopkins interrupted with a deep frown on his face, his eyes not even lifting for the first page of the letter. “I’ll cover it. It’s my fault, after all, that you’ve come all this way for nothing.”
Suddenly Abby knew that she had to get outside and breathe some fresh air. Her stomach threatened revolt. Even with the letter from Pastor Gibbons in his hand, the man was going to refuse to hire her.
Without explaining anything to anyone, she bolted from the room, out the door and around the side of the building. She was almost to the back of the clapboard restaurant when she couldn’t keep her stomach from emptying any longer. For the first time in her life, she wished she had died with her parents. What was to become of her? She was truly alone in this world—and in this strange and unfamiliar town. Back home, the sky had been high and the hills had surrounded her, but she had not known the immenseness of God’s creation until she sat hour after hour and watched prairie grass wave to an endless clear sky. She was a small speck on a wide-open prairie and only God cared she even existed. No wonder King David had asked, What was man that God was mindful of him? She was as insignificant as a stalk of the prairie grass.
“Oh, God, What am I going to do now?” she cried. The sobs that racked her body were almost as painful as the retching. She leaned her forearms against the clapboard wall and hung her head between her elbows. She didn’t even feel the coarseness of the building scratching her arms. Closing her eyes she prayed for a home. Somewhere to go where she could rest—where she could feel safe. She had traveled more than a thousand miles thinking she found a new home only to find it was the biggest mistake of her life.
* * *
Will sat staring at the spot the girl...Miss Stewart, had just vacated. He almost hoped that this was just a bad dream and he’d wake up any minute now to find that he was still camping down by the river on his way into Twin Oaks to pick up his new housekeeper. But Tommy’s little hand pushing on his shoulder, trying to get him to pay attention to yet another barrage of questions, made him aware this was all too real. The new housekeeper was a young, beautiful girl who looked as if a stiff wind could carry her off. She wouldn’t last a week on the frontier.
“Pa, where’d she go?” Tommy asked, his confusion making Will regret even more having started all this craziness. Surely he and Jake could handle the boys on their own just as they had done in the past. Maybe he would not plant in the western field he had cleared last month. He would still make a profit, though not as much as he had hoped. Still, that sounded better than adding more chaos and anxiety to his boys’ lives.
“Pa!” Tommy’s hand pounded harder and Will finally focused on his small son.
“I don’t know where she went. Maybe she needed to get a breath of air.” What did he know about women anymore? He’d been a failure at being a husband, and it had been more than ten years since he had seen his own mother or sisters.
“Um, sir?” The waitress was back again. This time she had two plates full of mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, chicken and broccoli. The third had a large steak and a baked potato with the same side vegetables. “I have your meals.”
She
