leaned back in his seat, his throat tight.
“I don’t know why I was affected by him. Something in his eyes held my heart. I couldn’t look away. Now I can’t forget the magnificence of his body. He held me and our eyes met and something passed between us, something intense and beautiful. In that moment I wished to know him as a man. To be known by him as a woman. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to lie with him there in the forest, with green around us and blue above us. Perhaps he wanted it, too, for he—”
Diego cleared his throat. “That’s enough. It’s not best to dwell further on those images. Memory should serve judiciously. If aught reminds you of lustful feeling, it would be best to put such behind you.”
“I know, Padre. There’s the coil. I don’t wish to forget him.”
“Why wouldn’t you? The man’s a stranger. He means nothing to you. You’re already bound by sacred oath to another. You must forget this nameless man and find happiness with him who would be your husband.”
Diego heard her sigh. “Your suggestion is the proper thing,” she said, “and yet I doubt I can feel for my husband what I felt today. Nor am I sure I want to.”
Diego wanted to groan. “In time you’ll come to feel the same passion for your husband.”
She didn’t answer.
“Listen, my child. What you felt today was a natural thing, given as a gift by a loving God for his divine purpose, to lead mankind to couple and beget children. It’s a natural and beautiful thing, but meant to be enjoyed between man and wife. Not corrupted by—”
She cut him off with a low growl of frustration. “Corrupt? No, it was not. Were I to have lain with that blue-eyed man, there would have been something loving between us, something of warmth and care, something transcending all vows. Our souls seemed to entwine.”
She was quiet for a moment. “Padre, I’m not an immoral woman. Nineteen years old am I, and yet do I remain a virgin. Never have I wanted to make love with a man, not any man ever. But what happened today was wondrous. In my heart, I know our coupling would have been a thing of beauty. It felt good and right between us.”
Diego drew in a shaky breath. That much he could not deny. It had been wondrous. It had felt good and, yes, even right.
He bit back his first impulse, that of agreement. Instead, he did his duty. “There’s never a time when sin can be right. Had you lain with him, you’d be guilty of fornication. You might have conceived a bastard child. I know you don’t wish for such disgrace.”
Diego looked up at the ceiling of the small chamber, realizing how exquisite his own tension had become. “You must close your mind to further fantasies. To continue with them is to lead yourself into a world of folly.”
“Aye, Padre.” She was near tears.
“Pray God to keep your soul pure and your body untainted until you wed. You must pray this.”
“I will.”
She cried now. Tightness made his own chest ache. “Put aside your guilt, and with sincere heart seek the will of God. In this way, you are forgiven.”
The bell tinkled as she slipped away.
When he was sure she had gone, Padre Diego Castillo bowed his head and prayed for her soul…and his own.
* * *
Ricardo Alvarez looked down at his drink and then up at Diego, who paced the floor of terracotta tile in agitation. “I didn’t give your presence away to them, you know. But neither can I pretend I know you not. They’ve a letter with the King’s seal, Diego. I dare not lie and tell them you aren’t here.”
“What do they want with me?” Diego asked, stopping to riffle his hair with lean fingers.
“This I do not know. Could it be your father has…departed? That you’re the recipient of an inheritance or something?”
Diego halted for a moment, considering that, then shook his head and resumed his pacing. “That doesn’t explain the presence of the girl. Who is she? What does she want with Diego Castillo?”
“I’d hoped you might answer that question.”
“My father’s not been ill,” Diego reasoned, as if to himself. “Doña Elena Ponce de León sends me news of Seville. Her last letter came but two weeks ago and she said only that my brother was…that he is…”
Ricardo looked up sharply and frowned. “To wed, Diego.”
“He is to wed. There, I’ve said it.” Diego stopped and shook his head. “And at the time all I could think was, ‘God bless them both,’ but that was before…”
Ricardo cocked his head, but Diego only frowned at him. Ricardo frowned back, nonplussed. Diego had been his friend for years, and nothing, not even the priest’s ill humour, could dissuade him from their deep friendship.
Ricardo let Diego pace awhile, then cleared his throat. “You must meet them, Diego, and find out why they’re asking for you. They’re to dine with me this evening; you might as well attend.”
Diego stroked his chin. “You could discuss the business with them and tell me of it later. That way—”
Ricardo stood abruptly. “You’re the damnedest, you know that? The damnedest! Truly, I’ve never known you for a coward, but—”
Diego’s lips twitched. “And you’re probably the only Spaniard I know who gets away with cursing his own priest.” He shrugged. “I’m no coward, Ricardo, but there’s more to this tale than you understand. I have reason to be loath to meet them. The English señorita in particular.”
“Well, enlighten me. What’s a reason so good that you can’t at least discover their business, especially if accompanied by a fine meal and good wine?”
Diego raised his eyebrow in such a rakish way that it almost offset the pious formality of the priestly robe he wore. “This morning I went to my bath at the river, heard a feminine scream, and before I knew what was happening, had pulled a woman from the water.”
“That makes you a gentleman, Diego. What of it?”
“Well, something passed between me and the girl as I held her in my arms.”
“Something like physical attraction, Diego? Well, it happens. Even priests are men.”
“I’m not supposed to let it happen to me.”
Ricardo snorted. “Carnal temptation. As long as nothing comes of it, you’ve not sinned. There’s no ill done.”
“Except that I stood naked with the girl in my arms, Ricardo. And then became aroused…by her…beauty.”
“Tsk. Tsk. Where is a towel when you need one?”
Diego frowned. “This is no laughing matter. I couldn’t hold her in my arms all day, and when I put her down… Well, she saw…everything…’ ere she fled from me.”
Ricardo
