Once, he’d thought he’d never want to leave the comfort of Sarah’s arms. Now it only made him want to run.
“You look good, Nate,” Sarah told him as she pulled away and sat back down. “It’s so nice to see you back here. I can’t believe you’re home.”
Nate nodded, thrust his hands into his back pockets. “It’s—” he couldn’t lie to her, not to Sarah “—different being back.”
“I’m so sorry about your father.” Sarah’s eyes flooded with tears as she reached for him, her fingers curling around his forearm as she leaned forward again. “He was always so nice to me when I was here with you.”
Nate smiled. He didn’t even have to force it. “Yeah, he was pretty fond of you, too.” Back in the days when he and Sarah were joined at the hip, his dad had loved him having Sarah over all the time. Everyone had, because there wasn’t a person in Larkville who didn’t like Sarah Anderson.
He looked up as she removed her hand from his arm and immediately wished he hadn’t. Because he’d never forgotten the warm amber color of her eyes or the way she seemed to be able to look straight through him, to see what he was thinking, what he was feeling.
Only there was no way that even Sarah could know what was going on inside of him, not now.
Sarah sighed like she wasn’t sure what to say, before turning a sunny smile his way. “Have you heard that I’ve been roped into organizing the Fall Festival?” Sarah shook her head. “I mean, I’m looking forward to the tribute for your dad, but trying to get everyone in this town into line is harder than it looks, I tell you!”
Nate couldn’t help but smile back at her, and for once it was genuine, not him trying to act happy to get the people around him off his back. “I bet you’re loving it.”
Sarah glared at him, a playfulness there that had been missing in his life for so long he’d forgotten it had ever even existed. A spark of happiness that for a moment, the briefest of moments, made him feel like he’d never left the farm, never seen what he wished he could forget, never … Nate swallowed hard and tried to focus on Sarah’s pretty face instead of the memories that haunted him.
“Are you home for good, Nate?”
Her question surprised him, made him crash back to reality. “Yeah.” He grunted out the word, still unable to believe that after all these years his career in the army was over for good. That he was back home, and in such a short time he’d lost both his mom and his dad, too. Home sure wasn’t what it used to be.
“You’re certain?”
Nate braved making eye contact with the girl who had stolen his heart when he was a teenager. “Yeah, I’m sure.” He wished he hadn’t snapped at her, but he couldn’t help it. What did she want to hear? The truth of why he wasn’t going back? Because not even Sarah could get details of that story out of him.
“I’m sorry, I know better than to pry.” Sarah sighed again and looked away. “Moose!” she called.
Moose? Nate was about to ask her who the heck she was calling when …”What the hell?” Nate spun, ready to fight, body alert even though his leg was starting to throb.
“Moose!” Sarah called again, crouching toward the long grass where the noise was coming from.
A massive dog appeared, launching from his hiding place and landing in front of Sarah. Nate could have sworn his heart was about to beat straight from his chest and thump to his feet.
“Since when do you have a dog named Moose?” he asked.
The dog glared at him, sitting protectively beside Sarah.
“You know me, sucker for animals in need,” she replied, stroking the dog’s head lovingly. “Your brother found him one day and nicknamed him, because he looked like a gangly baby moose. No one knows how he ended up around here, but he’s been with me ever since.”
Nate eyed the German Shepherd, not liking the way he was being watched in response. The canine was acting like he was challenging his authority and Nate wasn’t used to being the one on the back foot. “Is he as staunch with Todd as he’s being with me right now?”
The smile fell from Sarah’s face like water thrown over a flame at the mention of her husband.
“It was really nice seeing you, Nate, but we’d better be off.”
He watched as she moved past him, her eyes damp again like she was about to cry. “Yeah, nice seeing you, too.”
He should have asked her to stay. Should have patted the damn dog instead of acting like his territory was at stake. Because Nate was alone and seeing Sarah hadn’t been half-bad. At least she hadn’t quizzed him like his family had the moment he’d stepped foot on the family ranch again.
After so many years surrounded by other men, of living and working with other soldiers at his side, he was alone. His family were like strangers to him; he had no one to talk to, no one he wanted to talk to, and seeing Sarah had been the first time he’d cracked a smile in what seemed like forever.
But instead of calling her back, he watched her walk away. And it felt like they’d just gone back in time six years, when he’d told her that he was staying with the army instead of coming home. When he’d ended their relationship for good.
Sarah touched the top of her dog’s head before sending him away in front of her. She tried to focus on him bounding ahead, tail wagging back and forth. But the only thing she could feel, the only thing she could think about, was the man standing behind her.
Nate Calhoun.
After all these years, seeing him for more than a fleeting moment was … Sarah dug her fingernails into her palm. Refused to turn around to see if he was still standing where she’d left him. Nate had been the love of her life, and no matter how hard she tried to pretend that there was nothing between them anymore, she was still drawn to him like a magnet to metal.
Why after so many years, after he’d left her, could she still not push the man from her mind? When he’d left her brokenhearted, discarded like their romance had been nothing more than a holiday fling.
“Sarah, what are you doing here so early?”
She looked up, forgetting how close she was to the homestead. The ranch house never failed to impress her, had always had a warmth and homeliness about it that she admired, even though it was easily one of the largest homes in Larkville.
“I came to check up on my new horse, but Moose ran after something and I ended up following him.”
Kathryn Calhoun leaned against the doorframe, eyebrows drawn together. “What’s wrong?”
Sarah sighed. It didn’t matter how hard she tried to keep something to herself, she always seemed to wear her emotions all over her face. “I saw Nate.”
Kathryn frowned. “Did you talk to him?”
“Yeah, but …” What did she say? That she still felt a flutter of something for him, even though she could see from the darkness in his gaze, from the drawn expression on his face, that the old Nate wasn’t even in residence anymore? Twenty minutes ago she
