Through the Fire. Donna Hill
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“Impressive.”
Rae focused on the figure in front of her, smiling faintly, letting go of the memories. “Thank you.” Her heart beat just a bit faster, as a slow but steady warmth moved through her body.
Their gazes held each other in that tenuous moment of uncertainty. That instant when unconscious decisions are made and lives are irrevocably changed.
Quinn shifted his stance, and Rae felt all the air, the energy around her vibrate. She swallowed, momentarily unsure of herself and of what was happening to her. She hadn’t been able to get him out of her head all day. When she least expected it she would suddenly see him standing in front of her, dark and erotically lethal, the shuddering virility of him barely contained beneath the cool control of his demeanor. Quinten Parker was all male. The kind of male good girls were taught to stay away from. The kind of male who could steal your heart with a look, capture your soul with a smile, and claim your body with a simple touch.
“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked, not wanting her to leave just yet.
“Yes,” she answered before she even realized the word was out of her mouth. And when he placed his hand lightly along the soft hollow of her spine, she knew Quinten Parker was more than she’d bargained for.
Quinn stirred the squares of ice in his glass of Jack Daniel’s, seemingly intent on the slow, almost hypnotic way the amber liquid drifted in and out of the cubes’ dips and curves.
Rae watched his hands, the long, sinewy piano fingers that had mesmerized her with their skills. For an instant she wondered how talented they really were when bare flesh was offered for exploration. Her nipples suddenly hardened at the image, and she shifted in her seat. The quiet intensity of him was maddening.
“I didn’t think you’d come,” she finally said, unable to handle the silence a moment longer.
Quinn glanced up from beneath his lashes. “Wasn’t in my plans.” He took a sip of his drink.
“Then why did you?”
He shrugged slightly and ran his tongue along his lips before answering. “A man can have a change of heart, can’t he?” He stared directly at her, a dark challenge in his eyes, the shadow of a smile on his lips.
She wasn’t going to let him rattle her, she silently vowed. He’s just a man. Rae straightened in her chair, took a sip of her screwdriver, then leaned forward. “Why’d you stop playing?” It wasn’t the first time she’d seen the cool facade momentarily melt away. But he recovered quickly.
“Same reason I came here tonight. Change of heart,” he added, his last comment losing some of its bite.
“Because of your wife?”
His eyes snapped in her direction. He signaled for the waitress without taking his eyes off Rae. “Another one,” he said without looking up when the waitress appeared. “And one for the lady.” Finally he looked away. “Not something I care to talk about, ya know.”
“Your playing…or your wife?”
“Are you always so damned direct?”
She didn’t miss the sudden sparkle in his eyes. “Whenever I can be. Like I said to you earlier, I’ve spent too much time dodging the facts, holding things in, not dealing with the issues. I’m working on not being that woman anymore.”
Quinn was quiet for a moment, contemplative. What had changed her? he wondered, transforming her into this bold, challenging woman who spoke the words of the elders—wise, all-seeing, thought-provoking? Yet for all her exterior control he sensed something beneath the surface. He’d seen the look in her eyes before—seen it in his own. He’d heard the soul-wrenching poetic verse before. He, too, had spoken the words. Those were the things that attracted him to her, not her in-your-face approach, but what lay beneath the words, the background vocals that held the song in place, and played over and again in your mind.
“What changed you?” Quinn asked quietly.
Rae’s lips pinched for a moment, as something old, something gone passed across her eyes. “Loss,” she said simply.
Their gazes held each other and understanding beyond mere words formed between them and joined hands.
“Husband?”
Rae nodded stiffly. “And my…daughter. She was five.”
“How long?”
“Three years.”
Quinn felt a tightness in his chest. Nikita. He took a long swallow of his drink, then clasped the glass in both hands, staring down at the melting ice, a time that was forever gone. “Sometimes I wake up and think it’s all a bad dream,” he confessed quietly.
“I know.” Rae laughed sadly. “So do I. But it isn’t.” She pulled in a breath, then let it out slowly. “But my work gets me through it. I don’t know what I’d do otherwise.” She glanced across the flickering flame cupped in the glass goblet that separated them. “I read about your wife in the papers. I’m sorry,” she said sincerely. “It’s so ironic that we should lose the ones we loved at virtually the same time.” She paused for a moment, framing her words. “At the time it was as if we—you and I—were connected. I know this sounds crazy, but…I seemed to know how you were feeling, what you were going through, because it was happening to me as well. I was in the same place. I wanted to write to you…and tell you, but I thought it would be an intrusion. And I knew how empty ‘I’m so sorry’ sounded to my ears.”
Her confession, her willingness to allow him to enter that private space in her soul seemed to release him somehow. Release him in a way that nothing or no one had really been able to do before. A part of him realized that she would understand because she’d been there, too.
“Things were so strange back then, disconnected. It was as if I were walking in a haze all the time. I couldn’t think, couldn’t sleep. Felt like the world was moving but I was standing still, ya know.” He took a swallow of his drink. “I’d wake up sometimes sure that it was all a bad dream.” He heaved in a breath. “You’re right…about the ‘I’m so sorry.’ It didn’t help. Still doesn’t.”
“What does?” Rae asked, wanting to know if he’d found a way to start living again, some key that she’d missed.
“I haven’t figured that out yet.” He almost smiled.
“You will. When you give yourself a chance, open yourself up to possibility. At least that’s what everyone tells me.” She chuckled halfheartedly, not quite believing it herself.
The old refrain played again. He didn’t want to go there. He’d heard it from every person he came into contact with. They all believed they knew what was best for him, what would make his life worth living again. They said all the