when the major organs are forming. He knows I’d never do anything to harm the baby, even it if were risky for me. Kurt is afraid of my having a recurrence. He doesn’t want me putting my own life on the line.” She rolled her eyes helplessly. “He’s been spouting information about hormones like they were football statistics.”
“Is the danger real?”
“It is definitely real in Kurt’s mind.”
“‘Accept the authority of your husband,’” I murmured. “There’s the rub.”
“That might be a thorny issue for some, but to me that means voluntary compromise and teamwork with someone I love and respect. Kurt and I have discussed it. Whatever we decide will be mutual.” She looked troubled. “But he has even stronger feelings than I. He’s convinced I would be inviting problems if I had another baby right now. He’s also afraid that being pregnant might exacerbate my depression.”
Not a minor concern, considering Kim’s history.
“He wants to have another child, but not at the expense of my health. He’s adamant about that.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “The idea of not giving birth again breaks my heart! I desperately want to have a brother or sister for Wesley.”
“Aren’t you putting the cart before the horse? Who says you won’t? Besides, is this about giving birth or about being a parent? There are other ways to…”
But she didn’t seem to hear me.
After she left, I put some lasagna into the oven, tore up lettuce for salad and still had over an hour before Chase was due to arrive home from work. I couldn’t get Kim out of my mind. How would it be like to be caught in the place in which Kim found herself? Another child, or her health. What would it serve if having another child deprived Wesley of his mother?
To distract myself, I picked up our wedding photo album. Looking at those pictures always turns me into a slobbering romantic. When Chase arrived for dinner, I met him at the door holding his slippers and a newspaper and doing my most seductive siren imitation. Unfortunately, his cousin’s dog, Winslow, had made a hash of his slippers last weekend, and to find them I’d had to dig through the garbage can. Fortunately, they didn’t smell too bad. Since we both read the paper at work, I’d also had to substitute an O magazine for the Tribune.
Clever man. He knew immediately that something was up.
“Now what have you and Kim been doing?” he asked as he put his arms around my waist and gathered me to him. “Last time you tried the newspaper-and-slippers routine on me, you’d agreed to foster a potential seeing-eye puppy without talking to me first.”
“Did you even consider that it might be because I love you and I want to show it?”
“No.” He grinned, and his dimples deepening. “I know you love me. You show it every day and in every way. Something else is going on.”
I ran my finger along the chiseled line of his jaw and was supremely thankful to have this man is in my life. Blessed. I am so blessed.
I stared into the inky blueness of his eyes and watched them grow round with surprise as I whispered, “Chase, how do you feel about having a baby?”
Chapter Two
Though I’d caught him off guard, radiant warmth spread across Chase’s features.
He took me in his arms and kissed me until I totally forgot our topic of conversation. When he finally set me away from himself, he held me at arm’s length to ask, “Do you really mean it?”
“Huh?” My lips were deliciously swollen and rosy, my cheeks were flushed, and a little mechanical monkey in a red suit was riding a bicycle around in my head where my brain had been. Over two years together, and the impossible just keeps happening—I fall more and more deeply in love. If this is the way God’s will feels, then never let me out of it.
“A baby? You’re ready?”
I tipped my head and stared at him. “It’s not as if we haven’t talked about having children before, Chase.”
“True, but I’ve never heard you say you’re ready for them, either.”
I have to admit that several things have been standing in my way—the thought of having my blissful relationship with Chase change when a little third party arrives, what I would do about my job at Innova, and the enormous responsibility of bringing a brand-new soul into the world for eternity.
There’s also that little issue of my mother. Even though she desperately wants grandchildren, she’s recently begun telling people I’m her younger sister. She says she’s not old enough to have a daughter my age. It’s problematic to have my mother stop aging while I continue to grow older. When I surpass her in age, she’ll have to start introducing me as her big sister.
Becoming a grandmother might send her over the edge. Then again, why worry? She’s been dancing pretty close to the edge for some time now.
The baby conversation feels right this time. Maybe it’s because Kim’s been harboring the same thoughts, or that Mitzi keeps leaving baby magazines and maternity clothing catalogs on my desk at work. It was Mitzi who decided I needed to get married and registered unwilling me for an evening of speed dating with Hasty-Date. She’d had high hopes that someone would take pity on me and ask me out. Hasty-Date turned into a Hasty-Dud, but I ultimately met Chase, who is Kim’s doctor and Kurt’s good friend.
I’d also humored Mitzi when she told me I had to get rid of all my out-of-date clothes and found me a personal shopper. And the time she said my hair would look great in cornrows. When Mitzi decides it’s time for something to happen, there’s no stopping her. Could I put up with Mitzi’s pride if she thought she’d convinced me to have a baby? The idea gives me cold chills. I can already imagine her volunteering to be my conception coach, carrying a megaphone and a stopwatch and cheering me on.
“How do you feel, Chase? This isn’t something you can agree to, just to make me happy. When we make this decision, we both have to be ready.”
Chase is far too indulgent with me. He lets me eat saltines and drink hot chocolate in bed and wear his new T-shirts as pajamas. He shares his toothbrush with me when we’re traveling and I’ve forgotten my own—the definitive sign of true love. The only thing he really holds the line on with me is football. I can snuggle with him, blow in his ear, rub his back or sleep on his shoulder. But I cannot turn the television off during an interception thingy, walk in front of him during a touchdown or keep asking him why they have “downs” instead of “ups.” It’s a small sacrifice on my part, I think, since I really love taking naps in his football jersey on Sunday afternoons.
“I can’t imagine anything I’d love more than having a beautiful little mini-Whitney around the house.”
“It could turn out to be a mini-Chase.”
“As long as you’re involved, he or she will be perfect.”
“Besides, there’s no way we can duplicate me. Dad says I’m one of a kind.”
“He’s correct there.”
“He also says I wasn’t spoiled as a child but that I just smelled that way.” I learned humility
