hated herself for thinking that way.
“No, Mom. I’m good,” Adam said.
She could tell by his voice that he was just inside the door. She reached up, placing her hand on the door at the spot where she guessed his head would be resting. She yearned for those days not so long ago when Adam had shared his concerns. For so many years, whenever he had a problem he sought the refuge of his room, where he would be waiting when she came up the stairs. And so it was tonight: only tonight was different. Tonight Adam didn’t ease the door open and sit on the end of his bed, waiting to share his problem with her.
She was tempted to open the door, but didn’t, fearful that he might be angered by her action. She could handle anything but his sudden outbursts of anger. The first had happened only a few weeks ago. It had not only surprised her, but left her deeply saddened and afraid. Her fear over his behavior had made her avoid confronting him about it, creating a distance between them she hadn’t been able to bridge.
It was so difficult to witness what was happening with Adam. When he was angry, he seemed so much his father’s son. After the initial excitement of her marriage to Harry, she’d experienced firsthand what life was like with a man whose angry outbursts had become a part of their daily lives. Harry used anger to get what he wanted from her or from anyone who got in his way.
* * *
ADAM STOOD JUST inside the door, his stomach aching, tears hovering beneath his lids. He wanted to open the door so bad. He didn’t want to disappoint his mom. He was so confused by what happened earlier in the evening.
He hadn’t meant to cause his mom so much grief. Really he hadn’t. He’d been on his way home with Derrick when one of his classmates had caught up with him. Eddie Walsh had wanted him to join his other buddies at the old pool hall near the waterfront.
They’d gone over there and shot a couple of rounds of pool, during which Adam had lost badly. Thankfully he hadn’t bet any money on the games, despite pressure from Eddie. He didn’t have any cash on him, and until he paid his mom back he wouldn’t have any. He figured Eddie and his friends would drop him, but they hadn’t. They’d let him play and they’d cheered him on. He’d felt accepted by them.
It wasn’t until they’d decided to go back to the waterfront, and he’d seen the town clock, that he’d realized he had broken his curfew. He’d been trying to decide what to do when the fight had broken out. They’d just been walking along, fooling around, when suddenly someone had walked up behind Eddie and punched him.
When someone took a swing at him, Adam had no choice but to defend himself.
He hadn’t meant to get in a fight. He hadn’t meant to be late. He hadn’t meant to do any of it. But now it was too late to say that. He was old enough to stand up for himself. Eddie had said as much. And there was no explanation for his behavior that his mom would understand.
Moving here had been his mom’s decision. He’d gone along with it because for the first time that he could remember his mom was happy. He’d never seen her smile as much as she had at the news she’d inherited this house. And he wanted his mom to be happy. He didn’t understand why she was so sad, but he was pretty sure it had to do with his dad dying in a trawler accident off the coast of Alaska.
She had settled right in here, and had made friends. The neighbors loved his mom, and were always asking about her when he mowed their lawns. He couldn’t seem to find a friend among the kids at school. The only person who had been kind to him was Morgan Brandon, mostly because she was a new kid, as well.
He liked her. But she was a girl. It wasn’t the same.
Wishing things were different, but knowing he couldn’t change what he’d done, he waited to see if his mom would insist on coming into his room. For a few minutes he considered opening the door...talking like they used to do. Yet in the end he didn’t feel like talking. The fight had frightened him. He’d never hit anyone in his life and regretted what he’d done.
The kid he’d hit was in his class, and now the word would be out that he was trouble. Way to go, he thought to himself as he listened for his mom on the other side of the door. As the minutes ticked away, he felt sadder and sadder.
* * *
STILL NO SOUND from inside Adam’s room. Gayle had never felt so lonely, so lost, in all her life. Tonight had scared her. And yet she couldn’t bear to lose faith in her son, to have him become more distant and difficult. She didn’t have a clue how to stop what was happening, and that frightened her so much she could hardly breathe. Adam was her life. She loved him with her whole heart, and wished she had the nerve to open his door.
She waited, trying to decide what to do. In the end she felt she had no choice but to wait for Adam to come to her and explain his behavior. When he did she would listen and try to understand what was going on with him. “See you in the morning, then,” she said, quietly lifting her hand from the door before going down the hall to her own room.
She got ready for bed while listening for the sound of his door opening, disappointed that there would be no chance for them to talk this evening. Yet the normal peacefulness of her bedroom didn’t stop her from turning over the events of the past weeks in her mind, wrestling with her fear that she’d made some irrevocable mistake. She fell into a restless sleep, awaking the next morning feeling exhausted. In the early-morning light, her thoughts were much clearer. Regardless of how she felt about seeking help for Adam, she had to take steps to stop him from getting into further trouble.
Three days later Gayle approached the office of community services with trepidation. Adam had refused to go with her, and had willingly gone to school instead. The receptionist ticked her name off an appointment list before leading her into the office of Ted Marston, the head of community services. Despite her unease, she noted that the man was young, his office neat and orderly. The brightly colored pots filled with strawberry geraniums cascading over the windowsills of the large bay window behind him created the only touch of disorder in the entire space.
“Please have a seat,” he said, his voice instilling confidence. “I’ve got the report from Officer Edwards about your son’s behavior a couple of nights ago.”
“Yes. I wanted Adam to come with me, but he refused,” she said, concerned that Adam’s no-show could jeopardize the whole plan.
“It’s okay. I would have liked to meet your son, but this is strictly an organizational meeting. Adam’s absence tells me he’s not that keen on doing this. How do you feel about it?”
“I’m worried that if Adam doesn’t get help now he’ll get into worse problems. We moved here...” No! She couldn’t mention Anaheim without explaining that this wasn’t the first time she’d been worried about Adam’s choice of friends. She couldn’t betray her son to this stranger. Better to save any discussion of the past for his mentor once he was assigned one.
“How long ago was that?”
“About a year.”
“May I ask why?”
“I inherited the Cooper house. Susan Cooper was my mother’s sister.”
“I’ve often admired that house, especially the gingerbread woodwork, and it’s got a great veranda. Are you the one who replanted the front flower beds?”
She felt her face relax into a smile for the first time since she’d
