and I blame my parents for that.” She grimaced at his surprise. “Don’t get me wrong, I loved Josh. But we didn’t have to rush out and get married. I should have gotten my degree first. But in retrospect I realize that, once I did commit to a man, childhood conditioning kicked in. The little woman should step right into the support role. So much for the great escape from my past. Josh was already navy, and he wanted me with him when he was transferred. I could keep taking classes, he insisted, but, oh, gee, I got pregnant right away.”
“With the demon spawn,” Alec murmured, a smile forming.
She laughed. “You didn’t say how the night went.”
“Let’s just say I have a new appreciation of the Craigslist option.”
Oh, dear. Their number was being called, and the kids came bursting out of the arcade as if they’d been wandering in the desert for a hundred days and suddenly saw the vision of a feast laid out before them.
Julia shook her head, although the smile didn’t want to leave her lips. “Have I mentioned that I love him, too, despite everything?”
“Yeah.” Alec reached across the table and laid his hand over hers, one of the rare occasions when he voluntarily touched her. His voice was a little gravelly, but also...tender. “I know you do.”
The kids appeared, Matt bearing one pizza and Liana another, the different options the only way Julia had seen to achieve peace when they ordered.
“Can one of you go back and grab plates?” she asked.
Liana trotted off. Alec moved over on his side of the booth and Matt slid in beside him. He grabbed a slice of pizza and lifted it, cheese stretching into a long string that kept his slice attached with an umbilical cord to the mother ship.
“You might want to cut that,” Alec suggested, his tone mild but still firm.
Her son shot him a resentful look, but wound the string of cheese around his finger.
Of course, he contributed almost nothing to the conversation as they ate, although Liana chattered happily, having learned to ignore her brother’s scathing glances.
Alec had finished and pushed his plate away when he shifted on the bench seat and produced a flyer from his back pocket. It was obviously a local effort, photocopied on green paper. Tilting her head, Julia saw a logo for Angel Butte Parks & Recreation at the bottom.
“These are summer classes and activities, mostly for kids,” he said. “I spotted a few things like ballroom dance for adults. But I know you’ll want to get the kids involved, and this seems like a good way.”
Matt reared back in outrage. “No way you’re signing me up for some kind of camp for little kids!”
Julia glanced at Alec, then said only, “We’ll see.”
She spread open the brochure, Liana pressing close to her so she could see, too.
“Can I take swim lessons?” she begged. “Ooh, look. A horse camp!”
Alec smiled at her. “I knew that’s what you’d go for.”
“There’s a two-week soccer camp,” Julia read aloud, “and orienteering.” She moved her finger on the paper as she read the fine-print description. “You’d like this one, Matt.”
“I don’t need to be babysat.”
“Learning to use a compass and make your way through the woods can be useful,” Alec commented. “Your dad would have been an expert. Navy SEALs have to be able to navigate wherever they’re dropped.”
“This description mentions that the course is based on U.S. Army training,” Julia chimed in, trying not to sound unacceptably bubbly. “Minimum age is...thirteen. Wow, you qualify.”
“You mean, I could go somewhere without my little sister?” he asked sarcastically.
Liana couldn’t hide the flash of hurt, but she had enough spirit to stick out her tongue at her brother.
Alec met Julia’s gaze, his expression rueful, but he kept quiet. She’d seen him biting his tongue enough to know he wouldn’t always handle Matt’s snotty attitude the same way she did, but he was very careful not to act the part of a parent.
Depressed, she asked herself who could blame him. It was miracle enough that he was willing to do as much as he did. Even to completely uproot and move. When she’d asked Josh to choose between his family and his dangerous, high-adrenaline job, he’d chosen the job. It scared her to think Alec might hate it here in Angel Butte, so far from the high-adrenaline job he’d loved. From what he’d said, he was now stuck behind a desk, probably the last thing he’d ever wanted to do with his life.
I didn’t ask him, she argued with herself. He offered.
But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t blame her if he began to chafe at this new life.
He kept insisting they were his family, but they weren’t really, were they?
The fact that she wished they were would remain her secret.
* * *
HE NOW HAD a new challenge, Alec was disconcerted to realize: keeping his mind on the job now that he had the distraction of family. Alec was known for having a single-minded, intense focus. Back in L.A., Julia and the kids hadn’t affected him so much, because he didn’t see them daily. Apparently, things were going to be different now.
They hadn’t even been in town forty-eight hours, and whether he was conducting meetings, talking on the phone or working on procedures, his attention was split. Worry about Matt was constantly on his mind; happiness tumbled with the bleak knowledge that Julia was going to be a big part of his life, but wasn’t his.
This meeting was a good example. Alec rose to usher Naomi Wallace out of his office, hoping he’d actually taken in everything she’d told him. She was the community liaison working for the police department. This was their first meeting of any substance, although of course he’d met her and they had both attended the same meetings a few times. He shouldn’t have put this off for so long.
He thanked her for letting him know how the police department was involved in both the Fourth of July parade and fireworks and the upcoming arts-and-crafts fair taking place later in the month. “I’ll look forward to Frontier Days,” he lied, but knew Julia would love an art fair that would take over eight city blocks for three days.
Yeah, throughout the discussion he’d been thinking, I have to tell Julia about that or Good, that’ll be great entertainment for the kids.
The parade and fireworks slated for the Fourth would be a hit with Liana for sure. He was assured that this one included not only the traditional floats, honking fire trucks with firefighters throwing candy, the high school marching band and a lawn-mower drill team some local men with a sense of humor had dreamed up, but also horses. Lots of horses. The princess chosen by the Angel Butte Merchants Association didn’t ride on a float; she was slated to ride a palomino horse. Liana would be in seventh heaven. He had hopes even Matt would come around, since Alec had been told a motorcycle-stunt and drill team also participating was enough to make the most hardened citizens gasp. The Fourth was always a headache for law enforcement, but he’d
