at NIDA—that he might finally see her as a potential girlfriend and not just as his good mate and acting buddy.
There was nothing worse, she realised, than the death of hope.
Kate sighed, stiffening when she realised just how loud that sigh had been. As much as she was wretched to her core, she’d determined earlier today not to let anyone—particularly Maddie—suspect the truth. And she’d managed—’til the moment that sickening music had started up and she’d had to step into the spotlight on those stairs. At which point she’d frozen, the sheer futility of her feelings washing through her.
She knew she should have smiled but she simply hadn’t been able to. Not that it had mattered. No one had been looking at her. No one except the man standing next to Lachlan. Blake Randall, the best man.
He had kept on looking at her. And frowning at her. Wondering, probably, why she looked so forlorn.
Kate would have liked to tell him why—would have liked to scream that if it hadn’t been for him all their lives would have taken a different course and she wouldn’t be standing here today, having her heart broken.
A slight exaggeration, Kate. Your heart was broken last Christmas, when you optimistically brought Lachlan home for dinner.
They’d both just graduated from NIDA, and Lachlan’s parents had gone away on a Christmas cruise. Plus he’d been between girlfriends at the time. Which hadn’t happened too often. She’d thought it was her chance to snare his sexual interest. And it had seemed at first that she had. Lachlan had actually flirted with her in the car during their drive from his flat at Bondi to her parents’ home at Strathfield.
But all that had changed the moment he’d met her very beautiful and very vivacious blonde sister.
Something had died in Kate when she’d seen how quickly and easily Maddie had captured Lachlan’s sexual interest. By the end of Christmas dinner Maddie’s almost-fiancé had been firmly dispensed with and she’d gone off with Lachlan, moving in with him the very next day.
So, in reality, Kate had had ten months to get over her broken heart. Ten long, soul-destroying months during which her own acting career had stalled and she’d been reduced to working weekends in a local deli whilst going to endless auditions during the week.
If she hadn’t been living at home she wouldn’t have survived. The only acting job she’d managed to snare in that time had been a part in a play. It had been quite a good part, too. But the play hadn’t proved commercial or popular at the box office. Despite garnering reasonable reviews, it had closed after six weeks.
She’d tried out for various movies and television shows, but had so far been unsuccessful, usually being told that she wasn’t ‘quite right’ for that particular part; didn’t have the ‘right look’—or the right height, or the right something. Sometimes she wasn’t given a reason at all. Her agent said she needed to be more positive when meeting producers and directors, but any positivity she’d possessed seemed to have disintegrated.
In truth, Kate had always been on the shy side, with social skills not her strong point. The only time she felt truly confident was when she was in character, playing an outgoing role. Then she exuded confidence. If only she could be more like Maddie, whose social skills were second to none and whose confidence was out of this world.
A nudge at her elbow snapped her out of her thoughts, and Kate turned to see Maddie glaring at her before shoving her bouquet into her hands. The glare disappeared once she’d turned back to beam at the male celebrant. Kate felt a sudden urge to throw the bridal bouquet onto the floor and stamp on it.
She didn’t, of course. But the unexpected burst of anger did achieve something, shoving aside her self-pity and replacing it with a determination to stop letting unrequited love ruin her life. It was way past time for her to get over Lachlan and move on.
Steeling herself, Kate turned her body to the right in order to watch the ceremony, seeing immediately that Blake Randall had done the same and was looking straight at her. No, he was staring at her, as if he was trying to work out what was going on in her head.
If she told him he would probably laugh. Whilst she’d never actually met the man, she’d seen him interviewed on television several times. Despite having made a career—and loads of money—making movies about love and romance, he’d come across as a cynic about both, stating bluntly on one occasion that he was just giving the audience what they wanted.
Of course he had been a popular topic of conversation amongst the students at NIDA—especially after making Lachlan into a star. Kate knew Blake Randall had been married once to Claudia Jay, an Australian actress who’d starred in one of his early films. The marriage hadn’t lasted long, and Claudia had claimed her new husband had neglected her shamefully once the honeymoon was over. Kate suspected there was more to their divorce than met the eye, Claudia having moved to Hollywood soon after the breakup.
She didn’t feel sorry for either of them. They were both tarred with the same brush, in her opinion. Both of them ruthlessly ambitious, leaving little room to really love anyone other than themselves. Blake had gone from strength to strength after his divorce, whilst Claudia had gone on to have a successful career in Hollywood, her name linked with a succession of high-flying producers and directors.
Kate herself didn’t dream of Hollywood success. Or necessarily of being in movies. She loved acting on the stage most of all. But she wouldn’t knock back a decent role in a movie or a television series. If she was ever offered one.
Kate was about to sigh again when she remembered her agent’s advice to be more positive. And a little more proactive. It occurred to her that any other aspiring actor would take advantage of being in a wedding party opposite a brilliant movie-maker like Blake Randall. She shouldn’t be ignoring his interested glances. She certainly shouldn’t be standing around looking like a wet weekend and sighing all the time. She should be making the most of this rather amazing opportunity by smiling and flirting and projecting Little Miss Confident and Available, not Little Miss Miserable and Vulnerable.
All she had to do was pretend. No, act. She was an actor, wasn’t she?
But it was no use. She simply couldn’t summon up a smile. Maybe if he’d been more pleasant and approachable-looking she might have managed it. But his looks matched his reputation as a demanding tyrant to work for. He had gleaming black hair—worn unfashionably long. Thick black brows. Deeply set piercing blue eyes. An arrogant aquiline nose. Slightly hollow cheeks. And a rather cruel-looking mouth.
The press described him as ‘handsome’. Kate thought him scary-looking. And very intimidating.
She was in the process of abandoning any idea of even talking to him later when he smiled at her. Just a small smile, really—a slight lifting of the corners of his mouth—but it was accompanied by a wicked twinkle in his eyes. They did strange things to her, that smile and that twinkle. Made her feel more confident. And quite sexy. Which was astonishing given her libido seemed to have died ten months ago, along with her heart.
Before she could think better of it she smiled back. A small smile and possibly without any accompanying twinkle. But it was a start. His smile widened, his eyebrows lifting, taking away his scariness and making him look quite handsome. Not handsome the way Lachlan was handsome—but then, no man Kate had ever met was that handsome.
He mouthed something at her and she frowned, not sure what he was saying. He repeated it more slowly and she finally understood the words.
