Amy said, sounding decisive again. ‘Coats on, everyone. It’s time to go!’
Jack thumped down the stairs and yanked his coat from the rack. Claire shrugged her puffy red jacket on, too, and Amy buttoned up her old duffle coat. The she picked up her rucksack, handed Jack his to carry and …
Yes! She lifted my lead off its hook and clipped it onto my collar!
A warm, peaceful feeling settled over me. Wherever my people were going, they wanted me with them. That was all that mattered.
‘Guess you’d better just hope they bring you back with them, too,’ Sookie murmured, as she brushed past us to run up the stairs.
I didn’t pay her any mind. Of course they’d bring me home again.
I was an integral part of the family. Let’s face it: they’d all be lost without me.
This was a good idea, Amy decided, finally, as she spotted the sign she was looking for in the distance.
Even as the train had pulled into Victoria station, she still hadn’t been sure. Jack had been silent for most of the train journey – actually, he’d been silent for most of the last six weeks, ever since Jim left. But the silence seemed to be getting more pointed as the days went on without their father returning. At least she still got a few words out of him, sometimes. Jack wouldn’t even talk to Jim when he called – he hung up every time he answered the phone to him.
And Claire – her sunny-natured, happy girl – was different these days. She argued every point, complained about any slight change to the usual routine … and there were plenty of changes. Even Henry’s behaviour had been erratic since Jim left. The poor corgi seemed determined to remind everyone that he was still there, mostly by causing trouble. Before Jim had left, Henry had been a perfectly behaved dog. These days, Amy seemed to spend half her time shooing him off the beds, or chasing him down the road when he escaped, again. She’d even had to assign Jack to dishwasher duties, to stop Henry eating the leftovers right off the plate.
Still, she couldn’t blame the little dog for being unsettled, maybe even a little scared. They all were. Things were very different now.
Jim had taken his salary with him when he left. He still paid his half of the mortgage, and had offered more for the kids, but Amy wouldn’t accept it. Why should she? It would only make him feel better, like he was doing enough for his family.
He wasn’t, not by a long shot.
His family needed him there. Not his money.
And if they didn’t have him – well, then she would do it herself. All of it.
She’d prove to Jim that they were better off without him, anyway. That would feel better than slapping his stupid face. Apparently.
Her friends had had plenty to say about Jim’s departure, of course – mostly scathing comments about him living the cliché, or not knowing a good thing when he had one. They all meant well, Amy knew, and it even helped a little, knowing she had all those people on her side. But the most useful advice she’d been given had actually come from a very surprising source – the new doctor at the surgery where she worked as a nurse. Dr Fitzgerald was new to the area and, according to the grapevine, recently divorced himself. Amy had seen him in the park by the surgery a few times, walking his pet Dalmatian, but they’d rarely spoken until last month. The week after Jim had left, he’d stuck his head into the room she was working out of, and asked if she was okay.
Amy had pasted on a smile and tried to put up a show of coping, but he’d seen through it immediately.
‘Everyone is going to have a lot of advice for you,’ he’d said, with a gentle smile. ‘And some of it will probably be good, and some of it will almost certainly be terrible. The only thing I can tell you is: you’re the only one who will have to keep living in your life once this is all over and everyone else has moved on. Once it all calms down, he’ll still be your kids’ father, whatever he’s done. And you’ll still be you, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. So grieve and rage for what you’ve lost, sure, but in the end, you have to focus on the long term.’
The long term. It seemed so far away still, but Amy was trying. Trying to imagine a future where things weren’t so hard, where she was happy again – and so was her family.
That’s what today was about. Starting the long term, right here. Creating the happy family future she wanted.
And where better to do that than at a Winter Wonderland?
‘What do you think?’ she asked, as they walked up from the station in the crisp December air, towards Hyde Park. At her feet, Henry trotted along beside her, content to stay close on the pavement and in the crowds, thankfully. She really didn’t need him creating any of his mischief today!
Jack and Claire were slightly behind her, dragging their feet, so they didn’t see the sign as quickly as Amy did. But when they spotted it …
‘Mum! Are we going in? Are we really?’ Amy smiled. For a moment, Claire sounded like her little girl again. God, she’d missed that sound.
Up ahead, the crowds were amassing, all streaming towards the enormous, brightly coloured gates. Even in the daylight, the place was lit up, and Christmas music filled the air. Beyond them, the giant wheel loomed over the whole park. Amy felt a rush of exhilaration at the very sight of it, and even Henry barked his excitement.
Yes, this was a good idea.
‘Winter Wonderland?’ Jack tried to sound cool and unaffected, but Amy knew him too well. She could hear that spark of excitement, hidden deep under his words. ‘That’s what we’re here for?’
‘Yep!’ She grinned at the kids, her heart warming as they smiled back. She handed them the map she’d printed off ready for the day ahead. ‘What do you want to do first?’
Jack and Claire held the map between them, talking over each other as they pointed out their favourite attractions. They’d wanted to come last year, and the year before, but Jim had always said it was too busy, too commercialised. He’d wanted to take them all skiing instead, but they’d never been able to afford it for the four of them – plus kennels for Henry and Sookie.
Winter Wonderland, thankfully, had free entry. Of course, there were plenty of things you could pay for inside, but that was why Amy had planned the whole trip so carefully. She’d budgeted and booked ahead for two of the bigger items – the Giant Wheel and ice skating by the bandstand. And by bringing Henry along, she’d ensured that she’d have to stay on the side with him, so they only needed two tickets. She’d kept enough money aside for the kids to choose one activity each on top of that, and brought their Christmas money from their Granny – donated early for the cause – if they wanted to spend any more.
They’d had an early picnic lunch on the train in, so they didn’t need to buy food at one of the overpriced food stalls, and Amy had planned a dinner at an inexpensive Italian she remembered from when she and Jim were dating, after they’d walked through Oxford Street to see the lights. Add in a side trip to look at Buckingham Palace and they’d have had a full, memorable day – and Amy would still have money left to buy the food for Christmas
