if you’re going to chicken out, you need to do it now.’
‘I’m not eight years old, Joe. I’m not going to go through with this because you call me chicken.’
‘Fine, why are you going to do it?’ Nice use of psychology there, she thought. Act as though I’ve already agreed. He really did want this publicity. But it didn’t matter, because she’d already made up her mind.
‘I’m doing it because I don’t want to hurt my family any more than I have to, and because I think it’ll be good for my career.’ And because it would save her from being talked into a real marriage, one which she knew she could never deserve.
‘As long as you’re doing it, your reasons are your own business,’ Joe replied. She felt a little sting at that, like a brush of nettles against bare skin. Her own business. Damn right it was, but the way he said it, as if there really were nothing more than that between them... It didn’t make sense. She didn’t want it to make sense. She just knew that she didn’t want it to hurt.
‘So what are we going to tell people?’ she asked after a long, awkward silence. ‘I guess we need to get our stories straight.’
He nodded, and sipped at his coffee. ‘We just keep it simple. We were swept away when we met each other yesterday, knew right away that it was love and decided we needed to be married. The guys in the band will go along with it. You don’t have to worry about that.’ Somehow she’d forgotten that they’d been there, egging them on, bundling them in the cab to the courthouse. When she thought back to last night, she remembered watching Joe on stage, sweat dripping from his forehead as he sang and rocked around the stage. Him grabbing her hand and pulling her to the dance floor when they’d gone on to a club after the gig, when he hadn’t wanted to talk business.
She remembered the touch of his mouth on hers, as they were pronounced husband and wife.
But of course there had been witnesses, people who knew as well as she did that this was all a sham.
‘What if they say something? They could go to the press.’
‘They won’t. Anyway, to everyone else it was just a laugh. And if anyone did say something, it’d be up to us to look so convincingly in love that no one could possibly believe them.’
‘Ah, easy as that, huh.’
As they sat in the diner she realised how little thought they’d actually given this. She didn’t even know when she would see him again. Her flight was booked back to London that night. She’d only been in Vegas to take this meeting. Her boss had sent her on a flying visit, instructed to try anything to get him to sign. She’d given her word that she wouldn’t leave without the deal done. Would he see through them when they got back? Would he realise how far she had gone to keep to her promise?
‘I’m flying home tonight,’ she said.
He raised an eyebrow. ‘You were pretty sure you’d get me to sign, then. Didn’t think you’d have to stick around to convince me?’
‘I thought you’d be on the move, actually. I was told that you were only in Vegas for one night.’ She knew that the band were renowned for their work ethic and their packed tour schedule, moving from city to city and gig to gig night after night. This had been her only chance for a meeting, her boss had told her as he’d instructed her to book a flight.
If he was always on the move like that, perhaps this would be easier than she thought. It could be weeks, months, before they actually had to live together. And by then, maybe... Maybe what. Maybe things would be different? There was no point pretending to be married at all if she thought that they would have changed their minds in a few weeks. They had to stick it out longer than that. If they were going to do this, they had to do it properly.
‘I am, as it happens. I’m flying back to London tonight too.’
* * *
Why had he said that? They were meant to be in the States for two more weeks. Their manager had booked them into a retreat so that he could finish writing the new album. It should have been just a case of putting the finishing touches to a few songs, but he had an uneasy feeling about it this morning. He needed to go back and look at it again. There were a few decent tracks there, he was sure. But a niggling voice in his head was telling him that he still hadn’t got the big hitters. The singles that would propel the album up the streaming charts and across the radio waves. There was studio space booked for them in London in two weeks’ time and it had to be fixed before then.
Their manager was going to kill him when he told him he wouldn’t be showing up.
He could write in London; he had written the last album in London. It had nothing to do with Charlie. Nothing to do with her feelings, anyway. As she kept saying, this was just business. But it would look better for them to arrive home together.
Nothing to do with their feelings. Right. He would make her believe that today. Because her memory might be fuzzy but he could remember everything. Including the moment that they’d been on the dance floor, him still buzzing from the adrenaline of being on stage, her from the dancing and the music and the day and a half without sleep.
They’d moved together as the music had coursed through him, the bass vibrating his skin. She’d been trying to talk business, shouting in his ear. Contracts and terms, and commitment. But he hadn’t been able to see past her. To feel anything more than the skin of her shoulder under his hand as he’d leaned in to speak in her ear. The soft slide of her hair as he’d brushed it off her face. ‘Let’s do this,’ she’d said. ‘We’d be a great team. I know that we can create something amazing together.’
She’d reached up then, making sure she had his attention—as if it would ever be anywhere but on her again. And then Ricky had said those idiotic words, the ones that no judge could take back this morning.
* * *
She’d laughed, at first, when he had proposed, assuming that he was joking. It had had nothing to do with the way she’d felt when his arm was around her. The way that that had made him feel. As if he wanted to protect her and challenge her and be challenged by her all at once.
He could never let her know how he had felt last night.
It was much better, much safer that they kept this as business. He knew what happened when you went into a relationship without any calculation. When you jumped in with your heart on the line and no defences. He wouldn’t be doing it again.
And then there were the differences between them. Sure, it hadn’t seemed to matter in that moment that he’d asked her to marry him, or when they were dancing and laughing and joking together, but a gig and a nightclub and beer were great levellers. When you were having to scream above the music then your accent didn’t matter. But in the diner this morning there was no hiding her carefully Londonised RP that one could only acquire with decades of very expensive schooling, and learning to speak in the echoey ballrooms of city palaces and country piles.
He’d learnt that when he’d joined one of those expensive schools at the age of eleven, courtesy of his music scholarship free ride. His Bolton accent had been smoothed slightly by years away from home, first at school, and then on the road, but it would always be there. And he knew that, like the difference in their backgrounds, it would eventually come between them.
His experiences at school had made it clear that he didn’t belong there.
