know why you haven’t.”
“Because Joshua loves you.”
“I don’t understand that, either. He tried to help me and I pulled him down with me. He spent time in prison because of me. I gave the man who hated you information about you in exchange for drugs when I was in prison.”
“You didn’t know Kevin Dunbar’s intentions. He used you.”
“He kidnapped Hannah and could have killed her because of me.”
“God, in His great mercy, spared my child. You told the authorities where Dunbar was going once you knew what had happened. Nick got my little girl back because of your help. You were part of God’s plan all along, Luke. Don’t doubt that.”
“I’d feel better about being part of the solution if I hadn’t caused the problem. I don’t deserve another chance to mess up someone’s life.” If he stayed, it would happen. To Mary or to Hannah or God forbid to Emma. He would fail them when they needed him most. In his heart of hearts, he knew it.
Mary sighed softly. “I’ve never told anyone in the family this other than my husband, but I tried to kill myself when I lost Hannah the first time. It was hard to believe God could forgive me for such an act. The truth is God forgave me long before I made that terrible decision. He sent His only Son to die on a cross to save me from my sin. God forgives all of us. I was the one who couldn’t forgive myself until I realized that God had sent Joshua to love me in spite of everything. Your sins will be forgiven if you accept the truth of our Savior’s sacrifice for you, Luke. Until you accept that and forgive yourself, you won’t find happiness here or anywhere.”
“It’s easier said than done, Mary.”
“You’re right. It is. But it’s possible. Now let’s go in. I’m getting cold and your mother was making some hot cocoa.” She rose to her feet.
Luke stared at her in amazement. “I hope my brother knows how blessed he is to have found a woman like you, Mary.”
She grinned. “I tell him often, so he’s not likely to forget.”
Luke chuckled. He could hear Emma saying something like that. Emma was a strong woman, too. If only he could undo his past mistakes and make her love him again.
No, he was a fool if he tried to hold on to that hope, but to his dismay, it wouldn’t die.
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