nodded. “Very much so.”
“He wasn’t interested in fatherhood, I take it.”
She shrugged. “I thought he was. We talked about it a lot during our marriage, while he attended law school. He was even involved in the initial steps toward finding a reputable adoption agency and beginning the registration process. But then he suddenly announced that he wasn’t daddy material. And, by the way, he no longer wanted to be a husband, either. He left the law firm he worked for here and moved to California to live a single attorney’s life on the west coast. Maybe he watched a few too many Baywatch reruns.”
She’d spoken lightly to gloss over the emotional turmoil Glenn had put her through, but Shane didn’t smile. “Sounds like sort of a jerk.”
Her smile felt decidedly rueful. “Turned out he sort of was. He was just very good at hiding it for a while.”
“I don’t know much about adoption, but I’ve heard that’s easier to adopt as a single parent than it was in the past.”
“Fortunately, the agency I used was open to single-parent adoption, as was Charlotte’s birth mother. Charlotte was five months old when she came to me, and she had a few special issues, so my application to adopt her was pushed through as soon as my background checks cleared.”
“Um—special issues?”
She saw his hands flex on the steering wheel and figured he was getting restless with the extended delay. Perhaps he kept the conversation going to pass the time—or maybe he was genuinely interested. Regardless, she was always open to chatting about her wonderful daughter, who had already faced so many challenges in her short life and still woke each morning with an eager smile.
“She had surgery for infantile esotropia—basically, crossed eyes—three months after I brought her home. It was nerve-racking and, frankly, expensive, but she came through like a trooper and has done remarkably well since the surgery. Most people would probably never know she’d had an issue with her eyes just by looking at her now, though it was pronounced in the few early photos that were provided to me.”
“I certainly haven’t noticed anything. Was this something she was born with?”
Elle was a little surprised by the gravity of his tone. “Yes. But because newborns don’t focus well, anyway, it probably wasn’t clearly noticeable until she was several weeks old. The surgery isn’t medically necessary, but many studies have shown that the earlier it takes place, the better the outcome in most cases. Believe me, I read all the literature and consulted with several pediatric ophthalmologists before I consented.”
“Will she need follow-up surgeries? Is her vision impaired?”
“In most cases, no follow-up surgery is required, though occasionally some adjustment is needed later. In Charlotte’s case, the procedure seems to have corrected the condition. She’s had age-appropriate vision and depth perception tests during the past year and a half and it looks good so far. Maybe she’ll need corrective lenses at some point, but that’s not such a big problem.”
Shane kept his gaze on the cars ahead, but his attention was obviously still focused on her daughter. “Did you ever meet Charlotte’s birth mother?”
It occurred to her that the conversation was getting personal again, as she and Shane seemed prone to do. She could rationalize her own curiosity with the excuse that a single mom should know as much as she could about the men she brought into her life—if that was even a possibility in this budding friendship.
As for Shane—well, maybe it was understandable that he had questions about the adoption process. She didn’t mind answering a few more. Being Charlotte’s mom was the most important part of her identity. Any man, whether friend or potentially more, who came into her life should be made aware of that.
“No. Though we used an open adoption agency, she didn’t want to meet. I was just grateful she chose me to raise her child after studying the application, personal statement, references and videos I submitted.”
“Did you ever worry that she might—uh...”
Maybe he realized he was being too intrusive. He stopped himself before finishing the question, but she guessed what he’d started to ask. “That she might change her mind? I suppose every adoptive parent has that concern. I can’t imagine how devastating it would be.”
She swallowed hard, then shrugged and deliberately lightened her tone. “Anyway, I’ve gotten beyond that. I’m Charlotte’s mother and nothing can change that now.”
She was prepared for Charlotte to ask questions someday, of course, and she would answer them as truthfully as she could. She would even help if Charlotte wanted to try to track down her biological relatives after she turned eighteen. But she had to admit she was in no hurry for that day to arrive.
A tow truck with an amber light bar flashing on top made its way past them toward the crumpled cars blocking the intersection.
Shane spoke again as he watched the wrecker go by. “Was it difficult? Bonding with a baby already five months old, I mean. Did she—”
Again, she filled in the rest of the question. “Did Charlotte miss her birth mother?”
He shot her a quick glance. “Yeah, I guess that was what I was asking.”
“I was told her birth mother had some personal issues, so Charlotte had a few different caregivers before me. Whether because she missed her mother or because her life had been so unsettled to that point, Charlotte was fussy and seemed anxious the first few days she was with me. I was just yet another adult in her life at that point.”
Having adored Charlotte from the moment she’d first seen her, Elle had worried about that at first—along with all the other anxieties involved in becoming a new single mother. “Fortunately, within a couple of weeks, she seemed to understand that I wasn’t going anywhere. That I would be the one who answered every time she cried. I was with her every minute during her surgery prep and recuperation. Mine was one of the first faces she saw when she woke up afterward. I think she understands by now in her innocent way that I would give my life for her.”
Clearing her throat, she told herself to ease up on the drama, genuine as her sentiment had been. She spoke more casually when she said, “Charlotte and my mom hit it off immediately. They’ve become almost inseparable since. Charlotte adores her Gammy and vice versa. Now it’s as if we’ve all been together since the day Charlotte was born. She’s ours.”
“She is definitely yours.” Shane looked out the windshield as he spoke.
The car ahead of them moved forward and he followed at a cautious distance. “Looks like they’ve cleared one lane,” he said, his tone brisk now. “Should have you home in a few minutes.”
His attention was claimed then by the signals of the police officer directing traffic. They didn’t speak for the rest of the ride except for Elle telling him where to turn. She laced her fingers in her lap, mentally replaying their conversation and wondering if Shane had satisfied his curiosity—or if he’d been trying to learn more about her as someone he might want to get to know better in the future. Now that she thought back over the exchange, it felt almost like an interview.
That absurd thought showed she must be more tired than she’d realized after a busy week, and she still had to be up early in the morning
