they don’t!” Mrs. Feathers’s booming voice made both her and Tansy jump. “If I catch you flirting with any gentlemen, you’ll be out of here without a reference. I’ll not keep a girl around who’s determined to get herself into trouble! Now, stop your woolgathering, the both of you, because if your sauces are not more than a charred coating on the bottom of a pot, you’ll both be gone! And you’ll have my boot in your backsides to send you on your way.”
Tansy quickly grasped a spoon and stirred hurriedly.
Hannah stirred, too. She didn’t say a word but tears stung her eyes. She had not done a thing wrong. Not one thing. Tansy was the one who caused trouble, but her trouble always seemed to include Hannah.
The youngest footman, Eustace, burst in, out of breath. He ran right into the table and Hannah had to sweep her bowl into her arms to keep it safe.
“What demon is chasing you?” Mrs. Feathers demanded.
“His lordship is downstairs,” Eustace managed to gasp, between sucking in deep breaths. “Said he wants to talk to you, Mrs. Feathers.”
“For pity’s sake, what does he want? If he wants a proper dinner, he should be leaving me alone to get it ready.”
But for all Mrs. Feathers spoke in her usual sharp, impatient tones, Hannah saw she looked dreadfully worried.
* * *
At Brideswell Abbey, Julia went down to breakfast early. In the dining room, the warming dishes were out on the sideboard and the coffee urn was set up, but the room was empty.
She’d feared Nigel would be waiting, ready to propel the Earl of Summerhay at her. Or her mother would have heard, somehow, that she’d refused a duke, and would be ready to lecture her. Mother continually pointed out that one thing had not changed in the modern world—men still wanted young brides and Julia was going to end up on the shelf.
Julia filled her plate and carried it to the table, when a low, deep voice said, “G-good morning, Lady Julia.”
She turned and faced the Earl of Summerhay. Who wore riding clothes. And a slight blush.
“Good morning. I take it you are riding today? It’s the perfect day for it—not too hot yet,” she said brightly. Weather was the safest and most mundane of topics.
Last night, she had spoken to him a little at Worthington Park, and then at Brideswell, after they’d returned and before they had gone up to bed.
Nigel had tried to encourage him to talk about the heroic things he’d done in the War. But he had been very modest about all that. Nigel told her Summerhay had saved many men’s lives. He had captured a German machine gun nest single-handed. He was indeed a hero—a quiet and unassuming one.
She liked that about him.
But there hadn’t been any moment with him when the world had halted on its axis. She didn’t know why not—it simply hadn’t.
In fact, she had rejoined the group after James’s proposal. She had been talking to Summerhay when Cal had entered the drawing room. For a moment, she didn’t hear anything poor Summerhay was saying.
Of course, that was because she’d been afraid of what Cal was going to do. Mysteriously, he hadn’t done anything at all. He hadn’t caused a scene or made any threats. He had played the perfect host. And she couldn’t understand why—
“Yes, I’m going riding with Nigel,” Summerhay said. “Care to join us?”
He looked so hopeful, her heart ached. “I would have loved to, but I have commitments for the morning. I rode earlier.”
“I’m too late, then.” He looked rueful. “I’ve heard you’re a bally good rider. Nigel admits you’ve bested him at some fences. That’s high praise since he never likes to admit he’s been beaten.”
She smiled. “Marriage changed my brother quite a lot.” Then she could have bitten off her tongue. Talking about marriage was not a good idea.
“He’s a lucky man to have found such a lovely wife. I hope to be as fortunate.” Then suddenly, earnestly, he said, “Julia, I would like to see more of you. You are one of the most remarkable women I’ve ever met.”
Oh dear. She was not on the shelf yet apparently.
Summerhay was a nice and charming man. For one moment, she thought: This might be my last chance to marry. And he is a good man.
“Julia—?” He was brilliant red now, the Earl of Summerhay. “I know we have barely spent time together but I am hoping...hoping that when we know each other better, you might consider doing me the honor of... No, I’m sorry. It must be too early for that for you. But I know my own heart.”
Could love and desire grow? Did love have to be instantaneous?
But she thought of walking down the aisle and saying “I do” and not being in love with him. She couldn’t do it. And it would be wrong to do it to a hero.
“I do enjoy your company, but my charitable work is taking up almost all of my time.” That was too obviously an excuse. This man deserved honesty. For she could spend time with him, let him court her, but when she searched her heart, she didn’t want to. It was wrong to judge so quickly, but she thought of being courted and she wanted to...to run, really.
“The truth is, I had already given my heart to a doctor,” she explained, “but he has gone to London to work at a hospital. I know it takes me a long time to get over a lost love. I mean this as no slight against you. I am just not ready to move on.”
“But you will be—someday?”
“I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “And so I can’t ask you to wait.”
“I want to wait.”
“No, please. I can’t make you any promises, Summerhay.”
“I know that. If I wait, that’s on my conscience, not yours. It’s a chance I am willing to take.” He stood, bowed. “I should go and prepare for riding. Until later.”
Then he was gone.
She knew in her heart she had done the right thing. She wanted the whoosh. Even if it meant no marriage at all. Which meant she’d best be prepared to make a life without a wedding.
On the way out of the dining room, she encountered Zoe, who smiled and said, “I’ve decided that your plan to help your war widows is sound. You don’t need to worry about taking a loan against your dowry. We’ll be partners. I’ll provide the financial backing and business advice, you will work with the widows to help them create businesses that are suitable.”
She threw her arms around Zoe, who laughed. “I’ve never seen you look so bubbly, Julia.”
“I don’t know if I’ve ever been quite so happy. Except when you married Nigel. Good things will come of this, Zoe. I feel I am about to change the world.” Or at least her precious corner of it.
