lunch. My insurance company dropped me after that fiasco and I dropped her.” Rick threw up his hands. “Have I scared you off yet?”
“No. Children need to be kept busy and they require close supervision.” Penny glanced at the twins, trying not to stare at Katie’s almost bald spot. Poor little orphans. “So basically you require someone to care for them while you work.”
“Yes. But everyone I’ve talked to wants a set schedule and I can’t offer that. If something at a job comes up, I have to be there.” He looked—embarrassed? “But that’s not all.”
“It’s not?” Intrigued, Penny waited.
“Actually, my problem is twofold. I’m struggling with leaving the twins with others.” He looked ashamed by the admission and also stubborn, both at the same time. “Katie and Kyle just lost their mother. I want them to feel secure. But whenever I picked them up from daycare, they seemed sad. That’s why I thought having somebody come to my place would be easier for them and maintain some stability in their world.”
“But it also makes finding care more challenging,” she guessed.
“I know.” Rick sighed. “The kids talk about how much they miss Gillian. That’s natural and they don’t do it constantly. But those moments aren’t scripted. They just happen. So I can’t ask them to wait until seven each night or Saturday morning to talk about it. If I’m not there for them when they need me—” His gloomy face revealed how deeply he was torn by the situation. “I’m trying to do my best but sometimes they cry. A lot. I must be doing something wrong.”
“That’s not necessarily true, Rick.” Penny’s heart went out to him. This man was so determined to do the right thing for two bereaved little kids. She admired him very much.
“What do you mean?” Was that hope brightening his dark eyes?
“Being together without Gillian is a time of change for all of you. You’re all in mourning for someone you loved a great deal. Kids often express their feelings by crying.” She smiled at him. “Don’t worry. Those sharing moments will still happen. Katie and Kyle will still turn to you when they need you.” She glanced over one shoulder, noting how well adjusted the twins seemed. “You know there’s nothing wrong with choosing part-time daycare and part-time one-on-one care. Whatever works best for you should drive your decision. That and the twins’ welfare.”
“Are you sure?” He looked relieved when she nodded.
“Positive. To me, Katie and Kyle seem very well adjusted though I haven’t known them long. As long as they know you’ll be there if they need you, I think you’ll see that they will feel secure.” Privately Penny wondered if Rick ever took any time for himself but decided now wasn’t the time to ask.
“So would you be able to care for them? I know that as a teacher you’re around kids all the time and this is your break time—” He stopped when she shook her head.
“Not quite. At school I have children around me for about six hours.” Penny glanced at the twins, smiling at the massive tower they’d built. “Teachers are free at recess and lunch hour. Also, I don’t wake up with children or take them home with me at the end of my day as you do.”
Though I wish I could.
“You’re saying teaching isn’t like parenting. Okay, I get that.” But Rick still didn’t look convinced.
“If I asked, I suspect you’d say building is your passion. Well, kids are mine.” Penny held his gaze as she made her point. “As a teacher, I want the kids I work with to learn strength and self-reliance. I want them to grow into positive adults with the skills that will help them learn how to manage their world.”
“Admirable,” he agreed with a nod. “But it seems like that’s a lot to ask of a teacher in a public school situation.”
“Believe me, in these hard economic times with all the strife in our country, that is something I struggle with every day I teach—to make time for the important stuff.” Penny smiled. “But this is about you, Rick. And the twins. So tell me a little more about your lives.”
“Okay. Gillian and her husband were missionaries in Mali, West Africa. A little over a year ago he died there in an uprising. She was bereft and moved home with the twins. And then Gillian died—” He stopped. Gulped and started again. “The twins have had it very rough. I’m trying to make up for their loss.”
“You can’t, Rick.” It was hard to say but this man needed to hear the truth so in spite of his pinched lips Penny kept going. “It doesn’t matter what you say or how much you do. You will never be able to replace Katie and Kyle’s parents.”
“But—” The poor man looked so devastated that Penny wanted to hug him. Instead she rushed to reassure him.
“What you can do is be the very best uncle you’re able. That’s what they most need right now,” she added.
Just then Katie walked over and snuggled under his arm. Rick smiled at her, brushed a kiss against the top of her shorn head and hugged her close. Thus reassured, Katie skipped back to where her brother played.
“See? You were just there for Katie. That’s what they need.” Penny couldn’t stifle her curiosity about this man and his family. “Do they have grandparents?”
“Two sets. Their dad’s parents live in New Hampshire. They’re still devastated by their son’s death, and ill health makes it tough for them to visit Tucson so I set it up for the kids to Skype with them once a week.” Rick gazed at her as if to ask if he was doing the right thing.
“That’s very smart of you. Keeping family close to us helps lessen a loss.” Or so the books said. Penny didn’t have any family so she had no firsthand experience, but it seemed logical. She waited but when he didn’t say anything more, she asked, “And your parents?”
“They live near Sonoita, which isn’t that far from Tucson, but they’re kept really busy during summer with the lake, their motel and a restaurant so they don’t come here often. I try to run the twins down as often as I can.” Rick stared at the pair with stark grief on his face. “I think it helps ease Mom and Dad’s loss over Gillian when they’re with the twins.”
“I’m sure. Who helps ease your loss?” The moment the question left her lips, Penny regretted asking it. She sounded nosy.
“You’re asking about a wife or a girlfriend?” He shook his dark head. “I was engaged but Gina called it off after the accident. Turns out she didn’t want a marriage with two kids in the mix, which was a good thing to learn then because there was no way I would ever abandon my sister’s children. Not after I—”
I what? she wanted to demand, frustrated that he left the words hanging.
Penny waited for Rick to pull himself out of the introspection he’d fallen in. She truly admired his sturdy love and commitment for the two orphaned children. Liked his tough determination to do the best for them. He was kind, generous and sincere. Best of all, he was one of those men who paid attention to the most important things in life—like family.
Penny knew that if she took on the twins she’d enjoy friendship with Rick, too, but she’d have to get rid of that flutter of appreciation that winked inside her when he looked at her. He was extremely good-looking despite the scar and he had a warm,
