clatters down the polished, wooden staircase in his new Steelfield school uniform. I throw my arms around him.
‘A hug to make you grow big and strong,’ I say. ‘You get taller with every cuddle. Did you know that?’
‘I know, Mum. You tell me every morning.’
I hand him his blue wool coat. I’ve always liked this colour against Tom’s bright blond hair and pale skin. The coat is from last winter, but he still hasn’t grown out of it. Tom is small for his age; at nearly nine he looks more like seven.
We head out and onto the muddy track, stopping at a blackberry bush to pick berries.
Tom counts as he eats and sings.
‘One, two, three, four, five – to stay alive.’
‘It’s going to be exciting,’ I coax as Tom and I pass the school playing field. ‘Look at all that grass. You didn’t have that in London. And they’ve got a little woodland bit.’ I point to the trees edging the field. ‘And full-sized goalposts.’
‘What if Dad finds us?’ Tom watches the stony ground.
‘He won’t. Don’t worry. We’re safe here.’
‘I like our new house,’ says Tom. ‘It’s a family house. Like in Peter Pan.’
We walk on in silence and birds skitter across the path.
Tom says, ‘Hello, birds. Do you live here? Oh – did you hurt your leg, little birdy? I hope you feel better soon.’
They really are beautiful school grounds – huge and tree-lined, with bright green grass. Up ahead there is a silver, glimmering spider’s web tangled through the fence wire: an old bike chain bent around to repair a hole.
I wonder, briefly, why there is a hole in the fence. I’m sure there’s some logical explanation. This is an excellent school … But I’ve never seen a fence this tall around a school. It’s like a zoo enclosure.
I feel uneasy, thinking of children caged like animals.
A cage is safe. Think of it that way.
The school building sits at the front of the field, a large Victorian structure with a tarmac playground. There are no lively murals, like at Tom’s last school. Just spikey grey railings and towering, arched gates.
A shiny sign says:
STEELFIELD SCHOOL: AN OUTSTANDING EDUCATIONAL ESTABLISHMENT
HEADMASTER: ALAN COCKRUN, BA HONS SEMPER FORTIS – ALWAYS STRONG
The downstairs windows have bars on them, which feel a little sinister and an odd paradox to the holes in the fence. And one window – a small one by the main door – has blacked-out glass, a sleeping eye twinkling in the sun.
The playground is a spotless black lake. No scooter marks or trodden-in chewing gum. I’ve never seen a school so clean.
We approach the main road, joining a swarm of kids battling for pavement position.
Most of the kids are orderly and well-behaved. No chatting or playing. However, three boys stand out with their neon, scruffy shoes, angry faces and thick, shaggy black hair.
Brothers, I decide.
They are pushing and shoving each other, fighting over a football. The tallest of the boys notices Tom and me coming up the lane. ‘Who are you?’ He bounces his football hard on the concrete, glaring.
I put a hand on Tom’s shoulder. ‘Come on, Tommo. Nearly there.’
The shortest of the three boys shouts, ‘Oo, oo. London town-ies’.
I call after them, ‘Hey. Hey! Excuse me—’
But they’re running now, laughing and careering through the school gates.
How do they know we’re from London?
‘It’s okay, Mum,’ says Tom.
My hand tenses on his shoulder. ‘I should say something.’
‘They don’t know me yet,’ Tom whispers. ‘That’s all. When they get to know me, it’ll be okay.’
My wise little eight-year-old. Tom has always been that way. Very in tune with people. But I am worried about bullying. Vulnerable children are easy targets. Social services told me that.
It will be hard for him …
As the three black-haired brothers head into the school yard, a remarkable change takes place. They stop jostling and pushing each other and walk sensibly, arms by their sides, mouths closed in angry lines.
Tom and I walk alongside the railings, approaching the open gates.
It’s funny – I’d expected this new academy school to be shiny and modern. Not to have grey brick walls, a bell tower, slate turrets and bars.
I sweep away thoughts of prisons and haunted houses and tell Tom, ‘Well, this is exciting. Look – there’s hopscotch.’
Tom doesn’t reply, his eyes wide at the shadowy brickwork.
‘This is my school?’ he asks, bewildered. ‘It looks like an old castle.’
‘Well, castles are fun. Maybe you can play knights or something. I know it’s different from the last place.’
‘Castles have ghosts,’ Tom whispers.
‘Oh, no they don’t. Anyway, big nearly-nine-year-old ghost-busters aren’t afraid of ghosts.’
We move towards the school gates, which are huge with spikes along the top, and I put on an even brighter voice. ‘You’re going to do great today, Tom. I love you so much. Stay cool, okay? High five?’
Tom gives me a weak high five.
‘Will you be okay, Mum?’ he asks.
My eyes well up. ‘Of course. I’ll be fine. It’s not your job to worry about me. It’s mine to worry about you.’
Tom turns towards the soulless tarmac and asks, ‘Aren’t you coming in with me?’
‘Parents aren’t allowed into the playground here,’ I say. ‘Someone from the office phoned to tell me. Something to do with safety.’
Two of the black-haired boys are fighting in a secluded corner near a netball post, a pile of tussling limbs.
‘Those Neilson boys,’ I hear a voice mutter beside me – a mother dropping off her daughter. ‘Can’t go five minutes without killing each other.’
The headmaster appears in the entranceway then – an immaculately presented man wearing a pinstripe suit and royal-blue tie. His hair is brown, neatly cut and combed, and he is clean-shaven with
