Lord, what a time to be clumsy!
She could feel his eyes on her and knew he was laughing. This was fast turning into one of the worst days of her life. She mumbled an apology to the girl and scuttled out of the room as fast as she could.
* * *
Harry stood, filled with agitation. Absent-mindedly informing the serving girl that, no, he did not require another beer, he began to pace around the taproom. Damn Miss Milford! She had made him lose his temper and he had spoken hastily. He, who prided himself on his self-control.
It had been hard-earned, this ability to detach himself from situations so he could always act coolly and rationally. It had taken years of relentless practice and self-discipline. Anger—like fear—was simply not permitted in his gut. He knew the risks of too much emotion. These days, it was almost impossible for an insolent private or an untidy lieutenant to cause him to bristle. He paused. Until today.
He had been aware of his own frustration at being forced to return to England. He had not, however, expected his own temper to be so damn short!
Provocation. That was his defence. The fiery Miss Milford was altogether too insolent and fearless with her words and manner. The disdain in her eyes still irked him now. Such insubordination would not be tolerated for a minute in the army. Men had been flogged for less! And for more...
He checked himself. Insubordination? Had he somehow expected her to obey him, to take his commands as though he were her senior officer? He sighed ruefully. Yes, he had. Because he was a man and she was a young woman, he had expected her to defer to him and had been shocked when she hadn’t. He also, he realised, felt strangely protective of her. His instincts told him Mrs Milford was heavily reliant on her daughter and that, at times, this was something of a heavy burden for the young woman to bear. Not that she was helpless! Along with foolish amounts of courage, her evident wit and intelligence had been clearly displayed.
He thought he’d had her at a standstill when she realised she would need someone to fetch the doctor, but she had outwitted him by asking Evans. Strangely, the thought gave him a sense of satisfaction, not dissimilar to finding an opponent who could genuinely challenge him in chess. A worthy foe, then.
The fact that she also happened to be one of the most stunning women he’d ever met had not escaped his attention, either. Even now, he could picture her perfectly clearly in his mind’s eye. A beautiful opponent, and one who had stirred his emotions, and his body, as much as his mind.
She had challenged him and bested him, but he was not without small victories either. She would be forced to dine with them tonight, against her inclination. He wondered if he could charm her.
He reflected again on their battle of wits. Damn it! She had made him say unforgivable things. He recalled her face as he had accused her of not caring for her mother’s comfort. Beneath the anger, she had looked stricken. Harry squirmed uncomfortably. How could he possibly understand her motivations for behaving as she did? He should not have accused her so. Now, how was he to atone for it?
In the hallway, Juliana paused. Leaning against the wall, she closed her eyes and tried to calm her breathing. Never had she been so incensed! She dashed away angry tears with the back of her hand.
The worst thing was, she admitted, Captain Fanton was right in a way. She had been so anxious to travel on tonight, she had failed to notice that her mother was still feeling ill. She had selfishly tried to push forward with her plans, without checking on Mama’s health.
Yet, she remembered, her mother had seemed recovered as they left the parlour. She had enjoyed her tea, topped up with hot water, and had eaten two pastries with some enthusiasm. Had Mother really been hiding her illness? Or had she genuinely taken a relapse in the taproom?
Captain Fanton had looked at her with such contempt. He clearly believed her to be insensitive to her mother’s needs. The fact that he had overheard her tirade didn’t help. But if the man went around interfering in other people’s business, then he should expect consequences from time to time.
Anger warred with guilt, both emotions swirling around inside her, making it difficult to think straight. The thought of sharing a dining table with him tonight filled her with dread. Yet Mama had set her heart on it—trying to compensate for Juliana’s earlier rudeness. It was, she admitted, entirely her own fault.
The fact that Captain Fanton was one of the most attractive men she’d come across had not gone unnoticed. Something about his handsome features, knowing grin and lithe body was making her heart race and her stomach flip. Behave! she told her disobedient body.
Dinner would undoubtedly be difficult. But she was ready for the challenge.
* * *
‘Are you feeling quite recovered, Mrs Milford?’
‘Indeed I am, Captain Fanton, and I confess I am feeling a little silly for making such a fuss. Thank you for your concern, and to you, Lieutenant, for fetching the doctor.’
Evans muttered something about it being no trouble. He was clearly ill at ease and nervous, though had managed to eat four courses with a hearty diligence. ‘Not accustomed to making the civil—all bachelors,’ he’d mumbled apologetically when Juliana’s first attempts to engage him in conversation had fallen flat. By this she’d understood he was uncomfortable in female company. Juliana felt quite sorry for him and set out to put him at ease.
She now knew most of his life story, his likes and dislikes in food and horses, and the fact that he was the only child of a lawyer and a seamstress. He had a perfectly respectable background, but confessed he was still much in awe of the gentry. He adored his commanding officer, Captain Fanton.
This, Juliana put down to Evans’s obvious naïveté. Of course he would be in awe of the suave Captain, whose responses to Mama’s questions had included Harrow and Cambridge, so he likely had an aristocratic background, like many army officers. Not that she was listening to their conversation. She was perfectly happy to converse with the amiable Lieutenant Evans.
However, for some reason, she did not want Mama to share too many details about herself—about their life. She had heard the Captain ask where they lived and Mama had described some details of their life in Brussels.
‘So, what brings you to England?’ he asked.
‘We are visiting friends,’ Juliana intervened quickly. ‘We will return to Brussels in the summer.’
‘As long as that monster, Napoleon, has been captured by then,’ added Mrs Milford. ‘When I heard of his escape from Elba, I declare it was the only thing that could have persuaded me to agree to Juliana’s scheme of visiting England.’
Captain Fanton raised an eyebrow, looking from one woman to the other. ‘Ah! So it is you, Miss Milford, who wanted this trip.’
‘It was, though Mama was in agreement.’ He threw her a sceptical glance, clearly unconvinced. Again, this cynicism!
‘Were you really in agreement, Mrs Milford? Or did your strong-willed daughter force you?’ He laughed lightly to take the sting out of his words, but Juliana knew they were sincerely meant. Mama, ever trusting, smiled in response.
Can’t she see, thought Juliana, that it
