and he would make a full recovery, eventually.
After he’d waited out the surgery with Kevin’s commanding officer, seeing Grace Ann had steadied him. Their brief conversation had been a spark of hope. And that hug... He’d nearly buried his head in the sweet-scented softness where her neck curved into her shoulder. Hardly fair and nowhere close to appropriate, considering their personal relationship was top secret. No one even knew they were more than acquaintances.
He liked it that way. The setup worked for both of them. No pressure, no questions, no conversations about what might come next. She must still approve, as well, or she would’ve stopped meeting up with him on the random weekends when their schedules meshed. On occasion, he’d debated the wisdom of the casual, no-responsibility thing they had going and couldn’t manage any shame. They had mutual interests and were definitely compatible and so far, neither of them had met anyone worth making a change to an arrangement they both enjoyed.
“Knock, knock.” Grace Ann’s quiet voice preceded the sight of her face peering around the door. “Can I come in?”
“Please,” he managed, practically jumping to his feet. He should keep his distance, especially here. This was her place of business, the unit her second family, yet he couldn’t resist the appeal and comfort of having her near.
Her relaxed, easy smile as she walked into the room was reminiscent of early mornings on their many camping trips. Under a clear sunrise, her cap of short dark hair gleamed and her soft fair skin and deep brown eyes radiated warmth. He never tired of seeing her in those remote, solitary settings, knowing the moments they shared were only for the two of them.
Selfish? Maybe. He cataloged it as self-preservation. Other women eventually expected more than he could give. Grace Ann, raised in a boisterous and busy military family, was too independent to make demands on him.
Today, with the whir and beeps of machines and the cold, clinical smells surrounding them, their backdrop was a far cry from the pace and peace of nature. Here, dressed in her scrubs, her stethoscope in her pocket and a bulky watch on her wrist, she was a professional, though he desperately wanted to lean on her as a friend without fear of being caught in the act.
“How’s he doing?” She stopped at the foot of the bed, adjusting the blanket tucked around Kevin’s feet.
“You probably know better than I do.” Derek winced at the hard edge in his voice. He hated hospitals almost as much as he hated standing by, helplessly waiting. He held up his hands, surrendering. “Sorry. Apparently I’m too tired to be civil.”
“That’s to be expected,” she murmured.
In the privacy of the room, with Kevin unconscious, her lips curved into one of those smiles he enjoyed only when they were alone. Her eyes warmed with compassion, chasing away the persistent chill he’d been fighting since walking into this building.
“Has he been awake at all?” she asked, turning her focus to one of the monitors.
Derek shuffled his feet and stuffed his hands into his pockets, uncomfortable with the needs at war inside him. He could handle this, had handled worse in the past. “A minute or two,” he replied. “Long enough to tell me to lighten up.”
“That’s his special skill around here,” she said, patting Kevin’s shoulder. “He keeps all of us from taking ourselves too seriously.” Sadness drifted over her like a fog, first shadowing her eyes, then flowing down over the rest of her in those shapeless scrubs. Was she afraid for Kevin? Were they keeping some dreadful detail from him? Curious and concerned, he studied her while she watched his brother’s monitors.
“Well?” he asked.
She swiveled around as if she’d forgotten he was there. “Pardon me?”
He nodded to the various machines emitting periodic beeps. “What’s your assessment?” Waiting for the answer, he watched her reclaim her composure, though the signs of a rough day lingered in her rigid shoulders and the way she gripped her stethoscope.
“He appears comfortable,” she said. “You, not so much.”
They stared at each other over the bed. The silence stretched between them, a wire ready to snap. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to yell at her or kiss her or beg her to get him out of here. “I’m not myself,” he muttered, turning toward the safer view outside the window.
“Did you get something to eat?”
“No.” The idea of food made his stomach turn over.
“You should grab something,” she suggested. “I’ll wait here if you don’t want him to be alone.”
Her calm, professional demeanor was taking over. Was it too much to ask to keep Grace Ann, friend and lover, in this room instead of the experienced RN?
He stalked back and dropped into the chair by the bed. “I need to stay.” Being there for Kevin had become his role the moment their parents died. It didn’t matter where “here” was. He wasn’t perfect, but whatever support Kevin needed—emotional, financial or physical—Derek did his best to provide.
“All right. Tell me what sounds good and I’ll go get that for you.”
Her completely rational tone grated on his nerves. “You’re not a waitress.” He had to get control of this nasty attitude. No one deserved this surliness, but especially not her. Not when he claimed to be her friend.
She angled her head, a grin teasing the corner of her mouth. “Well, I have been. It’s just like riding a bike,” she said. “What’ll it be? Downstairs, they had burgers and pasta marinara on the line today.”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I’m being an idiot.”
“No, Derek.” She stepped closer, her gaze earnest. “You’re being a concerned brother. I have a few, so I know firsthand what it looks like.”
Her gracious understanding did nothing to settle this prickling under his skin. Surely she saw plenty of people at their worst every day. He didn’t care to be lumped into that group.
“You and I are so different,” he said. Not the first time he’d thought it, though it was the first time he’d dared to say it aloud. The cornerstone of their weekend getaways had been the avoidance of deeper topics and connections. Better, they’d decided early on, to keep the focus on their common interests. Love of the outdoors, new adventures and sex. Excellent sex.
She waited for him to gather his thoughts without saying a word.
He couldn’t remember the last time a woman had been so patient. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d argued with a girlfriend. Because he didn’t. And she wasn’t. He was a short-term kind of guy who knew when to make a quick or graceful exit. The randomness of their hookups had to be why things still worked with Grace Ann.
“Kevin’s more like you,” he continued. “Those days after the accident, when Dad didn’t pull through, I never wanted to see a hospital, nurse or doctor again. Kevin set his mind on a medical career. Took me a long time to accept that.”
He wasn’t sure he’d accepted it yet.
“Kevin’s going to make a full recovery,” she said. Her quiet confidence was a cool balm to his ragged
