just don’t understand it,’ he kept saying. ‘Neil Webster, for God’s sake. Nobody, I mean nobody, in the business has got a good word for the guy. He’s ripped off more people than I’ve had hot spring rolls. He got fired from the Daily Clarion for fiddling expenses, you know. And when you think that every journalist in the history of newspapers has fiddled their expenses, you begin to realize just what a dickhead the guy must be.
‘He’s been in more barroom brawls than anybody else I know. And he treats people like shit. Rumour was, his first wife had a lot more black eyes than hot dinners from him. After he got the bullet from the Clarion, he set up as a freelance agency in Liverpool. He was bonking this really nice woman who worked for the local paper there. He persuaded her to bankroll him in his new venture. He even promised to marry her. On the day of the wedding, he left her standing like a pillock at the register office. That’s when he took off to Spain. After he’d gone, she discovered he’d left her with a five grand phone bill, not to mention a load of other debts. Then her boss found out she’d been putting him down in the credits book for payments for jobs he hadn’t actually done, so she got the boot. That’s the kind of guy that Kevin thinks is right for the job.’ He stopped speaking to attack another rib.
‘Maybe Kevin’s got something on Neil, something to keep him in line with,’ I suggested.
‘Dunno,’ Richard mumbled through his Chinese. He swallowed. ‘I guess it was just that Jett wasn’t bothered enough about who did it to hold out for me.’
‘Perhaps Kevin wants to make sure it’s a whitewash job,’ I tried.
Richard snorted with laughter. ‘You mean he thinks he can keep Neil on a leash? He thinks he can tell Neil exactly what to do and Neil will do it? Shit, he’s in for a rude awakening. Neil will feather his own nest, regardless of Kevin laying down the law.’
‘Yes, but at the end of the day, Neil’s not a rock journalist. You know exactly what stones to turn over, where to start looking if you wanted to dish some dirt, to get behind the headlines to the real story. But Neil doesn’t even know where to start, so to some extent, he’s going to have to go with whatever Kevin feeds him. And they’ve got him right where they want him, you know. According to Jett, Neil’s got an office and everything right there at Colcutt. He’s actually living there while he does the book.’
‘That’s exactly what I mean,’ Richard pounced. ‘Looking after number one. And he’s the only one who will come out of this on the up, I’d put money on it. Kevin might think he can control Neil more than he could me, but I’d give you odds that Neil will end up biting the hand that feeds him, just you wait and see.’
‘Sounds like a bad deal for Jett.’
‘Wouldn’t be the first time Kevin’s done that. And it won’t be the last.’
That sounded fascinating. And it was a good way to get off Neil and on to the other members of Jett’s entourage. ‘How do you mean?’ I asked sweetly, helping myself to more vermicelli before it all disappeared into the human dustbin.
‘Always seems to me that Jett has to work a lot harder than other people at his level in the business. I’d love to pin Kevin down as to why that is.’
‘Maybe he just likes it,’ I suggested.
Richard shook his head. ‘Not the amount of stuff he does,’ he said. ‘He’s always on the road for a couple of circuits a year. He should be able to get away with one tour, fewer venues, that sort of thing. On top of that, he’s doing an album a year. And even though he hates it, Kevin’s always plugging him into chat shows. He even had him doing local radio slots earlier this year, can you believe it? Jett has hardly had any time off, I mean proper time off, for the last four years. He shouldn’t have to do that. And the tour merchandise – they really push that stuff. There’s nothing laid back about Kevin’s operation, and somebody should be asking why. Maybe it is just bad deals, bad judgement. Or maybe they’re making sure that when they retire they’ll never have to lift a finger again. But if I was Jett, I’d be looking for a new manager.’
I put some of the lyrics down to sour grapes, but I filed the general melody away for future reference. As Richard tore into the spicy pork, I tried another strategy. ‘Couldn’t you go ahead anyway and write the unauthorized biography, warts and all?’ I asked. ‘You must know a lot about the things that Jett wouldn’t necessarily want to make public. Like the split with … Moira, wasn’t it?’
‘Sure, I could spill any amount of beans,’ Richard agreed. ‘But I don’t know if I want to do that. I mean, Jett’s a mate.’
‘He’s got a funny way of showing it,’ I mumbled through a mouthful of beef koon po.
‘It would be the last exclusive I got from him.’
‘There are plenty more people in the rock business who trust you,’ I replied.
‘But an awful lot of them wouldn’t be happy about talking to me if I’d dropped Jett in it,’ Richard reasoned.
‘Surely they’d understand why you’d done it?’ We were going down a side alley that wasn’t taking me any further, but I couldn’t help myself. Offering support to Richard was a lot more important to me than helping Jett.
Richard shrugged. ‘I don’t know. But anyway, there wouldn’t be enough of a market for two books. Jett’s not quite in the international megastar league.’
I got up and helped myself to a bottle of Perrier from the executive drinks fridge Richard keeps in the living room. It had been a birthday present from a friendly roadie who’d stolen it from a Hilton room. ‘What if …’ I said slowly. ‘What if you wrote a story for one of the Sunday tabloids. The things you won’t be reading in Jett’s autobiography, that kind of thing? You must have plenty up your sleeve like that.’
Wonders will never cease. Richard stopped eating. ‘You know, Brannigan, you just might have something there … If I flogged it on the quiet, they could put a staff reporter’s byline on it and that would protect my other contacts.’
That was enough to open the floodgates. I knew that when he was sober in the cold light of morning, Richard would have changed his mind about plastering Jett across the front pages of the gutter press. But by the time we made our amorous way to bed a couple of hours later, as far as Jett and his entourage were concerned, I had picked Richard’s brains as clean as he’d picked the salt and pepper ribs.
The following morning, the sun was shining and I was full enough of the joys of spring to cycle into work. I was in the office even before Shelley, keying in all the information Richard had unwittingly given me the night before. I couldn’t imagine how it could be relevant, but I’d rather have it neatly stored in my database just in case. It’s a hell of a lot more reliable than my memory, especially when you consider how many brain cells shuffle off this mortal coil with every vodka and grapefruit juice. God help me if my computer ever gets the taste for Stolichnaya.
A few minutes after nine, Shelley put a call through to me. It was my friendly neighbourhood copper. Derek’s a career constable. He doesn’t like the hassle that his seniors have to live with, so he tries to keep his head down whenever promotion is suggested. He does, however, like the vice squad. It makes him feel virtuous and he likes the perks. I’ve yet to meet a thirsty vice cop.
‘Hi,
