stomach sent up hunger signals once again and Reese sighed. He’d grab a quick bite then get back to work. He’d left in a hurry this morning, which meant he hadn’t taken the time to eat breakfast.
Reese headed for the door. “Hey, wait up.” Eli came from the back. “Where you headed?”
“Thought I’d grab a biscuit at the diner. I missed breakfast.”
“You mind if I come along? White’s got the jail covered, and Alice is on the phones.” Alice Colby, the department secretary, was a pleasant woman in her early fifties. She had salt-and-pepper-colored hair and blue eyes that sparkled all the time. Reese liked her. Jason White was the new hire who’d started the same day as Reese. Reese didn’t like him as much as he liked Alice. But the deputy was competent, and Reese knew Eli was glad to have a full staff once again.
“Sure, come on,” he said. “What’s wrong? Holly didn’t feed you this morning?”
Eli grinned. “Not this morning. Holly’s not feeling all that great.”
“Why does that put a smile on your face?”
“She’ll feel better in a few weeks. After the first trimester.”
“First tri— Oh.” Holly was pregnant. A pang shot through him, and grief hit him in the gut. Covering the split-second reaction, Reese cleared his throat. “Ah, well, congratulations.”
The smile slipped from Eli’s face. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Reese forced a lightness into his voice that he didn’t feel.
“It still hits hard, doesn’t it?”
Reese didn’t bother to try to avoid the question. “Yeah. It does. Not as hard as it used to, so time’s helping, but it still hurts.” This time his smile was real. “But I’m happy for you and Holly. That’s great. I hope it’s a girl for her sake, though. Even things out with you males in the family.”
Eli slapped him on the back and gave his shoulder a friendly squeeze. “Me, too. Come on, I’m starving. Let’s eat while we have a chance.”
On the way to the diner, Eli stopped residents of the town and introduced Reese to each one. Friendly faces welcomed him, and Reese felt a small sliver of peace slide into his heart.
Coming to Rose Mountain had been the best choice he’d made in a long time.
“By the way, don’t forget about the church potluck dinner Wednesday night. When I was a bachelor, I looked forward to those things like a kid does Christmas. Best home cooking you’ll find.”
Reese nodded and smiled. “I heard the announcement in church last Sunday.” One thing he’d done as soon as he’d moved to town was find a church. He’d settled into his house on Saturday a week ago and gotten up and gone to church with Eli and Holly and Cal and Abby the next morning.
He wondered if Maggie Bennett would be there.
When he walked into the diner, his eyes landed on the woman his thoughts couldn’t seem to stay away from. Belle sat in her lap, picking Cheerios out of Maggie’s hand and eating them one by one. Like a homing pigeon, he made his way to her, drawn by her deep brown eyes. He was vaguely aware of Eli following along behind. She smiled when she saw him. “Good morning, Reese.”
“Morning. How’d you sleep last night?”
“Pretty well, thanks to you. Knowing you were watching was—well, it made a big difference. Thanks.”
He returned her smile. “It was no problem.”
Eli cleared his throat, and Maggie looked past him to greet the man. “Hi, Eli.”
“Maggie. No classes this morning?”
“Not until 11:00 today. I started on paperwork about 6:00 this morning and decided I had definitely earned a break. So here we are.”
Reese thought about that question he’d wanted to ask her. “Hey, do you go to the bank every Monday?”
She lifted a brow at him. “Yes. Usually. I get paid by electronic deposit on a weekly basis. I go to get my cash for the week and then go to the different places to pay my bills.”
“You don’t use checks? Pay online?”
She shook her head. “No. I do it this way on purpose. It gets me out of the house. I spend many hours online with my job.” She shrugged. “I could do everything online, but I like getting out, visiting with people and...” She flushed. “I know it sounds silly. I just need that personal interaction.”
“It doesn’t sound silly,” he reassured her. He understood what she was saying, and his mind was already clicking through what it meant.
Belle jabbered at Reese and held her arms out to him. He backpedaled, almost knocking Eli over. Maggie jerked and lifted a brow at him. Feeling like a fool, he stammered, “Um, well, I guess we’d better get a table. See you.”
He turned and headed for the table in the far corner, feeling Maggie’s puzzled gaze follow him until he was able to slide into the seat and out of her line of sight.
Eli seated himself on the opposite side and shook his head. “What in the world was that?”
A cold sweat broke across Reese’s brow and he closed his eyes on a groan. “I don’t know. I’m an idiot.”
“Have you talked to anyone about this? Like a professional counselor?”
Eli’s soft question sent darts through Reese’s heart. “Yeah. I did.”
“And?”
“It helped, but...”
“The grief is still there. And it will be for the rest of your life, I know, but...”
Guilt shook him. He opened his eyes and looked straight into Eli’s compassionate gaze. “For Keira, the grief is less sharp. It’s more of a sadness for what could have been, the loss of what we had. I miss her. A lot. And I’m sorry she died. I wish I could change that, but I can’t.” He sighed. “It’s hard to admit it, but I’m ready to move on. To find someone to spend the rest of my life with. But...”
“But?”
“When it comes to babies, I just... It’s hard. I don’t know why it’s so hard.” Frustration at his inability to put his feelings into words washed over him. “It just is. And I need to find a way to move on, to accept the loss and deal with it, but...”
“You lost your wife and daughter, Reese. That’s huge.”
Reese swallowed against the lump in his throat. “I know.” He stirred in his seat, restless with the direction of the conversation. Fortunately, the waitress arrived before he had to contribute further to it.
Then Eli changed the subject. “What was that about? Maggie and her trips to the bank?”
“She has a routine. A routine someone
