at the man like a coiled spring and since that moment life had been totally unreal, but Laura was waiting for an answer and so, referring to the lighter side of his sentence, he said, ‘I worked in the prison hospital for most of the time, which provided some degree of job satisfaction, and had a constant stream of inmates queuing up outside my cell for advice regarding their health problems, true or imaginary, but the nights were long.’
How long he couldn’t bear to tell her, with visions of her coping with the children on her own, and in the middle of it all moving house, which showed clearly that by the time he was released she wanted to have made a new life for herself.
There had been indications that Laura wanted him to join her and the children in their new home, but he didn’t want to rush into anything. Things had been going wrong between them even before that terrible incident. There was no way he could sidle back into her life without having something to offer in the form of trust and understanding, and the reason for him returning to London the following day was connected with that.
‘And the rest of it?’ she persisted.
‘Not good in parts, but I had a debt to repay, didn’t I, Laura? And now I can get on with my life knowing that ghastly episode is over, that Saunders is fully recovered, and that you and the children are all right.’
‘And that is it?’
No, it isn’t, he wanted to tell her. When you came to see me as a patient I had to accept that I wasn’t being fair to you. That I was guilty of gross neglect, and shortly afterwards I found myself believing that you were betraying me with that guy of all people, that you’d turned to him for comfort. I should have known better, of course, but I wasn’t thinking straight at the time.
Instead he said, ‘For the present, yes. I’ll keep in touch of course and if you need me for anything don’t be afraid to ask.’ He looked around him. ‘Though you seem to be managing very well without me.
‘I sussed out the spare room while I was upstairs, so will get my case out of the car and settle down for the night if that’s all right with you.’
‘Don’t you want a meal first?’ she asked woodenly, bringing her mind back to basics, and when he shook his head a deadly calm began to settle upon her as the impact of his ‘don’t be afraid to ask’ comment took hold.
In a measured tone she said, ‘Just a moment before you go. You said if there is anything I need from you I have only to ask?’
He was observing her questioningly. ‘Yes, I did. So is there something?’
‘Yes. I want a divorce.’
She watched his jaw drop and amazement darken the hazel eyes looking into hers, and then he said in a grating voice that was nothing like his usual upbeat tone, ‘So I was wrong. Am I still going to be paying for what I did?’
‘And you think I’m not?’ she said, doing her best to keep all emotion out of her voice. She could be just as coldly analytical as Gabriel if that was how he wanted things. ‘I wanted you home, but not on the terms you’re laying down in such a patronising manner. I’ve been living for the day when you were free of that place. But it seems that while you’ve had time on your hands you’ve been making plans that don’t include me, which makes me think that you still aren’t sure about how you found me in somebody else’s arms, so, yes, Gabriel, I want a divorce!’
The strong lines of his face were set like granite as he turned and went out to the car without any further comment and when he came back inside she said, ‘Breakfast will be ready at eight o’clock and if you still intend taking the children to school, they have to be there for quarter to nine.’
‘Of course I’m going to take them,’ he said levelly. ‘I’ve never let them down!’ Like I have you, the voice of conscience said.
Gabriel couldn’t sleep. Twice he padded quietly to where the children were sleeping and gazed down on them tenderly, but the door of the master bedroom across the landing remained firmly shut. He had made everything worse between Laura and himself by not telling her what was in his mind. But first he had to speak to his friend James Lockyer, chairman of the board of governors at the hospital where he’d worked.
Jenny kept phoning to say how much they were all looking forward to his return, but she had no say in the matter, neither had those who had worked alongside him, and nor had he. So he wanted to get from James the full picture of what came next to put in front of Laura when he returned to the house where he’d felt like a visitor.
It had been at his suggestion that he’d slept in the spare room, not hers. Had she wanted him back in her bed?
But, no, how could she? Only hours before she’d asked him for a divorce. He’d been totally stunned at her request and was praying that it had been a spur-of-the-moment thing that she would change her mind about.
Breakfast was a stilted affair with only the children’s chatter to liven it up and when the three of them were ready for the short walk to the village school Laura told him, ‘I’ll be ready to go to the practice soon. What time do you intend leaving?’
‘As soon as I’ve seen the children safely inside I’ll be back for the car. I need to be in London before three o’clock.’
‘I’ll hang on, then, so that I can lock up once you’ve gone,’ she told him
‘Whatever,’ he agreed absently as his glance took in the vision she presented in a smart navy suit and white blouse with matching navy footwear, and the fair swathe of her hair swept back into a neat coil. She was so fantastic, he thought achingly. How could he have been so careless with the love they’d had for each other?
The children were tugging at him, with Sophie anxious to show off her father to her friends, and dressed in their neat school uniforms of gold and green and each carrying a small satchel they placed themselves one on either side of him and the trio disappeared in the direction of the village school.
When Gabriel came striding back half an hour later she was standing at the gate, waiting for him, and it felt like a dream. She’d imagined this moment so often, him walking towards her in sunshine, back where he belonged, and now that the time had come it was like groping through fog.
‘Have you got everything?’ she asked weakly as the shock waves of his nearness washed over her.
He nodded, and after locking up she waited to see what he would do next. Would he just drive off with a brief goodbye after her announcement of the previous night, she wondered, or give her a formal peck on the cheek?
As he bent towards her it seemed as if that was what it was going to be, but not so. His arms reached out to encircle her, his mouth was on hers and he kissed her long and lingeringly before letting her go, then without a word having passed between them he got into the car and drove off in the direction of the motorway that ran past the village.
She put her hand to her mouth. It was the first time he had touched her in any shape or form since that awful day, and she thought despairingly that she’d had to mention divorce for him to show any signs of still wanting her.
Yet he had gone for reasons best known to himself without any mention of when he would see her again. How was she supposed to feel? For now she chose to put her hurt and anger to one side and she set off for another day at the Swallowbrook Medical Practice.
On arriving,
