how he felt.
His friends and family would think he was putting on a brave face if he told them the truth and that would make the situation worse. He was already in line for a lot of well-meaning sympathy and he didn’t intend to portray himself as the victim when he was sure that Heather had done the right thing. It might be easier if he didn’t say too much and simply let people believe what they liked.
Ross felt a little easier once he had decided how to proceed. As soon as he was dressed, he went downstairs and made himself a pot of coffee. He telephoned his mother while it was brewing, but there was no reply. She’d told him that she was going to have her hair done that morning and he could only assume that she wasn’t back yet.
He phoned the vicar instead and explained what had happened, politely refusing the man’s well-meaning offer of counselling. There was no danger of him falling apart—that just wasn’t his way. He would cope perfectly well with what had happened so long as the people around him let him do it his way. He knew what he wanted from life and he refused to let this setback alter his plans. He had worked too hard to prove himself to give up his dreams now.
Fired up by the same determination that had driven him all his adult life, Ross carried on making calls. He had just finished speaking to the florist when the doorbell rang and he went to answer it, unsurprised when he found Ben Nicholls, his best man, on the step. Ben grinned as he followed him inside.
‘So how do you feel this morning? Ready to face your fate, I hope.’
Ross shrugged as he headed back to the kitchen and poured Ben a cup of coffee. ‘There’s been a change of plans. The wedding has been called off.’
‘Oh, ha-ha, very funny. If you think I’m going to fall for that, you can think again.’ Ben plonked himself on a chair and gulped down a mouthful of coffee. ‘Oh boy, I needed that! Would you believe that I got called into work last night? Some idiot on a motorbike decided to play chase with a police car and hit a bollard in the process. He was in a right mess, I can tell you.’
Ross didn’t interrupt as Ben regaled him with the tale of the injured motorcyclist. They often exchanged stories about their working lives. As a GP in a busy town-centre practice, Ross was used to dealing with all kinds of medical matters ranging from the mundane to the life-threatening. He enjoyed the orderliness of general practice work, though, and wouldn’t have traded it for the adrenaline rush that Ben got from working in the emergency department at the local hospital.
He waited until Ben ran out of steam then returned the conversation to the subject uppermost on his mind. ‘Actually, I wasn’t joking. Heather sent me a letter last night to say that she’d changed her mind. The wedding has been called off.’
‘You’re not serious, are you?’ Ben demanded, gaping at him.
‘’Fraid so.’ Ross gave his friend a tight smile, hoping the news wouldn’t trigger a sudden outpouring of sympathy. He neither deserved nor wanted to be on the receiving end, quite frankly. ‘It means that I’m going to need your help to sort things out.’
‘Of course. It goes without saying that I’ll do anything I can,’ Ben said quickly. He sat up and stared at Ross. ‘Did Heather say why she’d changed her mind? I mean, there isn’t someone else involved, is there…?’
Ben tailed off, obviously unsure what to say now that he had voiced the question, and Ross sighed. He suspected it was a question he would have to get used to answering in the coming days.
‘Not as far as I’m aware. Heather simply wrote that she’d realised it would be a mistake if we got married.’
‘And that was it? You didn’t go to see her and talk it all through?’
‘No. She’d made her position perfectly clear in her letter.’
‘Fair enough.’
It was obvious that Ben thought he’d been wrong to have left it there. Ross frowned, wondering if he should have gone to see Heather and pressed her for an explanation. Had she met someone else, as Ben had suggested, someone she loved more than him?
He tested out that theory, unsure what his reaction would be if it proved to be true, but he felt very little. He certainly didn’t feel jealous at the thought of her seeing another man and that was something else he needed to think about later. If he didn’t feel jealous or even very upset then why had he asked Heather to marry him in the first place? Because she had ticked all the right boxes and fitted his ideal of the perfect wife?
It was alarming to realise how calculating he’d been. Ross cleared his throat, not sure that he liked discovering something so negative about himself. ‘Anyhow, I’ve phoned the vicar and told him. I’ve also been on to the florist and cancelled the flowers. I still need to contact the car-hire firm and the hotel where the reception was being held. Fortunately, we decided not to go away on honeymoon until the spring, so that’s one less job to deal with. But I did book the bridal suite, if you remember, so that will need to be cancelled too.’
‘I can do all that for you,’ Ben offered immediately.
‘Thanks.’ Ross gave him the phone numbers then found the guest list that Heather had tacked to the bulletin board next to the fridge. ‘I need to go and see my mother, and let her know what’s happened, so if you could make a start on phoning the guests as well, I’d be really grateful.’
‘No problemo.’ Ben took the list from him, grimacing when he saw the number of people who had been invited. ‘I don’t imagine we’ll be able to get hold of everyone before they set off, so d’you want me to go to the church and meet them there?’
‘I’m not sure. It might be better coming from me.’ He shrugged when Ben looked at him in surprise. ‘Some of those people are travelling quite a distance and it seems a bit rich to turn them away at the door. I’d feel better if I did it myself.’
‘Well, if you’re sure you’re up to it…’
‘It isn’t a problem,’ Ross assured him briskly, not wanting to admit how indifferent he felt about the idea. This should have been his worst nightmare, yet he felt unmoved by the prospect of cancelling all the arrangements. How odd.
Once again he shied away from examining his feelings too deeply. Standing up, he reached for his car keys. ‘I’ll leave it with you, then. I’ll get over to Mum’s and break the news to her before the grapevine gets to work. Give me a call if you have any problems. I’ve got my phone with me.’
‘Will do. And, Ross, I’m really sorry about what’s happened.’
‘Thanks. Although it’s probably better that it happened now rather than later,’ Ross said bluntly, heading for the door.
He left the house and got into his car. It was the second week of December and the weather was very cold. The forecast had predicted a dry sunny day—perfect for a wedding at this time of year. As he drove through the town, Ross tried to imagine how the day might have gone, but it was impossible to picture it. It was as though all the months of preparation had never happened, as though there never had been a wedding about to take place that day, his wedding.
In a sudden rush of insight he realised that he had merely gone through the motions, done what had been expected of him, but he had never connected emotionally with the event. Getting married had been just another step on his life plan, another box that had needed ticking. Was it any wonder that Heather had changed her mind
