after all that muddy water under the bridge, stuff she still could hardly bear to think about, here was Jessica, back on the scene again, as stunning as ever—more, if that was possible—and already making Jamie grit her teeth in pointless frustration.
‘I understand that you have responsibilities, Jess, and they may be getting to you but you can’t run away from them.’ Jamie slammed shut the dishwasher door with undue force and wiped her hands on a tea towel.
Dinner had been a bowl of home-cooked pasta with chicken and mushrooms. Jessica had made a face and flatly refused to eat any of the pasta because she was off carbs.
‘It’s all right for you!’ Jessica snapped, scooping up her poker-straight blonde hair into a ponytail before releasing it so that it fell in a heavy, silky curtain halfway down her back. ‘You don’t have to deal with a bloody husband who works all the hours God made and expects me to be sitting around with a smile pinned to my face, waiting for him to return for a nice hot meal and a back massage! Like some kind of creepy Stepford wife.’
‘You could get a job.’
‘I got a job. I got eight jobs! It’s not my fault if none of them suited me. Besides, what’s the point me going out to work for a pittance when Greg earns so much?’
Jamie didn’t say anything. She didn’t want to think about Greg. Thinking about Greg had always been a downhill road. Once upon a time he had been her boss. Once upon a time she had fancied herself in love with him—a secret, pleasurable yearning that had filled her days with sunlight and made the burden of looking out for her younger sister more bearable. Once upon a time she had actually been stupid enough to think that he would wake up one day and realise that he cared for her in the same way she cared for him. Unfortunately, he had met Jessica and it had been love at first sight.
‘Have you thought about volunteer work?’ she offered, fed up.
‘Oh, purr … leese! Can you really see me doing anything like that, Jamie? Working in a soup kitchen in Edinburgh? Or arranging flowers in the local parish church and doing fund raisers with the old biddies?’
She had dragged one of the chairs over and was sitting with her long legs propped up on the chair in front of her so that she could inspect her toenails which were painted a vibrant shade of pink.
‘I’m bored,’ she said flatly. ‘I’m bored and I’m fed up and I want a life. I’m too young to be buried in the outskirts of Edinburgh where it rains all the time, when it’s not snowing, hanging around for Greg, who only cares about sick animals anyway. Did you know he’s got a fan club? The dishiest vet in town—it’s pathetic!’
Jamie turned away and briefly squeezed her eyes tightly shut. It had been years since she had last seen Greg but she remembered him as clearly as if it had been yesterday. His kind face, the way his grey eyes crinkled when he smiled, his floppy blond hair through which he constantly ran his fingers.
The thought of her sister being bored with him filled her with terror. In the end, Greg had been her salvation. He had taken over the business of worrying about Jessica. Jessica might not need him, but she, Jamie, most definitely did!
‘He’s crazy about you, Jess.’
‘Loads of guys could be crazy about me.’
Jamie felt her body go cold. ‘What does that mean? Have you? You’re not doing anything stupid, are you?’
‘Oh, don’t be such a prude.’ But she sighed and leaned back against the chair, letting her head flop over the back so that she was staring glassy-eyed up at the ceiling. ‘No, I’m not doing anything stupid, if by that you’re asking me whether I’m having an affair. But the way I feel …’
She allowed that possibility to take shape between them and it was all Jamie could do not to slap her sister. However, years of ingrained caretaking papered over the passing temptation. This, she felt, was a subject best left alone in the hope that it might just go away. She was busy wondering what topic she could choose that might be safer when the doorbell rang.
‘Someone flogging something,’ she muttered, relieved for the distraction. ‘Please, Jess, just give Greg a call. He must be worried sick about you.’
She left the kitchen to a disgruntled Jessica informing her that she had no intention of doing any such thing, that he knew perfectly well where she was, just like he knew that she needed some space.
Jamie wondered how long Greg would carry on waiting while Jessica hunted around for this so-called space she was intent on finding, and she was still chewing it over in her head as she pulled open the front door.
The sight of Ryan standing on her doorstep was so shocking that for a few seconds her mind went completely blank.
He had never, ever been to her house before. Not even when they had happened to drive out of London to attend a meeting. He had never picked her up or dropped her off. She hadn’t even thought that he knew where she lived.
Eventually, her brain caught up with what her eyes were telling her, and she stopped gaping at him open-mouthed and actually croaked, ‘What are you doing here?’
‘You were stressed out. I was worried about you. I thought I’d drop by, make sure you were all right.’
‘Well, I’m fine, so I’ll see you tomorrow at work.’ Belatedly, she remembered her sister scowling in the kitchen and she stepped outside and pulled the door quietly closed behind her, taking care not to shut it completely.
‘How did you find out where I live?’ she hissed under her breath. Under the lamplight, his face was a contour of harsh shadows and his eyes glittered in the semi-darkness. He was still in his work clothes, the jeans, the faded sweater, the trainers and the coat, which she knew had cost the earth, but which he wore as casually as if he had got it from the local Oxfam shop.
‘Personnel files. It really wasn’t too difficult.’
‘Well, you have to go.’
‘You’re shaking like a leaf. It’s cold out here—let me in for a few minutes.’
‘No!’ She saw his eyebrows rise fractionally and added, stammering, ‘I mean, it’s late.’
‘It’s eight-forty-five.’
‘I’m busy.’
‘You’re on edge. Why? Tell me what’s going on.’ Ryan laughed. ‘You’re my indispensable secretary. I can’t have you storing up nasty secrets and then suddenly deciding to walk out on me, can I? What would I do without you?’
‘I … I’m obliged to give a month’s notice,’ Jamie stammered. Ryan Sheppard on her doorstep suddenly seemed to throw that all-important distance between them into confusion and she didn’t like it.
‘So you are thinking of leaving me. Well, it’s a damn good thing I turned up here to get the full story out of you, isn’t it? At least this way I can defend my corner.’ For some reason he felt disproportionately let down by the thought of her just dumping a letter of resignation on his desk without any forewarning and then jumping ship. ‘So, why don’t you invite me inside and we can discuss this like two adults? If it’s more money you’re after, then name the amount and it’s yours.’
‘This
