the baby.
Stay here, he says, she thought bitterly. As if she had a choice. As if there were anyplace she could go.
Utterly weary, Nikki leaned her head back against the chair and closed her eyes. If she’d had a choice, she never would have come back to San Diego.
Resentment bubbled up. She’d told herself she was over him. He’d hurt her so badly a year ago. How could she still have feelings for him? But those treacherous emotions were still there. Her breast burned where he had touched her while stroking Michael’s head.
How could she hate him and want him at the same time? She must be crazy.
The baby stopped sucking. “Come on, Michael, just a little more.” She stroked her son’s cheek, urging him to eat.
No matter how out of control her life might be, she had to keep herself together. Her first responsibility was her child. He’d been fussy and she’d suspected he’d sensed her tension after Joe’s visit this afternoon.
Thank God she had gotten him to sleep upstairs before the break-in. She took a deep breath and exhaled, willing herself to relax.
Nikki looked up and once again saw Joe’s frame filling the doorway. The light from the hallway turned him into a menacing silhouette.
He slipped his hands into his pockets and leaned against the door frame, watching her. She could see the glint of his badge, clipped to the pocket of his jacket.
Finally he spoke. “What exactly did the men who broke in ask for?”
“Information about my father.” She was tired of the question. His partner, McCully, had already asked her a dozen times.
He stared at her hard before he spoke. “You didn’t tell them where he is.”
Near tears with frustration and fatigue, she snapped, “He’s dead.”
He must be dead, she thought desperately, or he would have let her know where he was. He wouldn’t have just abandoned her.
Joe continued to stare at her without moving.
Just the fact he was here and she remembered how good it felt when he’d held her in his arms unnerved her. The temptation to turn to him for comfort scared her. There was no way she could go down that road again and survive.
“Go away.” She felt brittle from the strain of coming home and the assault, but she had to stand up to him. If she sought the shelter of his arms her resolve would crumble and she’d be back where she’d been a year ago.
He ran his hand through his hair in a familiar gesture of frustration. “Nikki, be reasonable.”
Why was it whenever they differed, she was the unreasonable one? She felt herself being drawn into his argument, and she simply didn’t have the strength, emotionally or physically. She hadn’t fully recovered from a difficult pregnancy and nightmare birth.
“Go now, or I’ll call McCully and have you thrown out,” she threatened.
He had to leave. She couldn’t have him here, not when she didn’t trust herself.
“Why isn’t the alarm system working?” He never took his eyes off the baby.
She sighed and shifted the baby to a more comfortable position. She hadn’t expected him to listen to what she wanted. He wouldn’t leave until he got his way. The man was as stubborn as a mule, Nikki thought, suppressing the urge to howl with frustration.
She took a deep breath and brought Michael up to her shoulder to try and coax a burp from him. She’d be damned if she’d answer his question. It was none of his business that the alarm company had discontinued service when they hadn’t been paid. She didn’t have telephone service, either, and she had no money to have either service reconnected.
He gestured over his shoulder. “McCully will be done soon. I’ll go home and get a few things. I’m not leaving you alone.”
“I’ll be fine,” she said through clenched teeth, knowing as she spoke he was right about her vulnerability.
The two men could return, even though she couldn’t tell them what they’d demanded to know. The thought made her frantic. But so did the thought of Joe spending the night in her house.
As she calculated the danger, Joe shifted away from the door frame and took a step into the room. She avoided his gaze but could still feel his eyes on her.
“Nikki, what if they come back?” he said, his low voice vibrating with anger.
She clutched Michael as Joe gave voice to her fears. She brought her chin up, defensive. “Why should they? I can’t tell them anything.”
“What makes you think they believed you? You told McCully the sirens scared them off, remember?” he said sarcastically.
How could she forget? Her next-door neighbor Glenn had been walking his dog, heard her screams and called the police.
The sound of hammering drifted up to them. “Glenn’s fixing the door.” Now she was grasping at straws.
He threw up his hands and gave her a look that indicated he thought she was a moron. “You think that’s the only way into this house?”
She knew there were a dozen ways in. She’d used several of them as a teenager returning home after her curfew. She raised her chin and prayed her voice wouldn’t reveal how much his questions heightened her own fears.
“I’ll be fine,” she insisted. Showing weakness in front of Joe Galtero was a big mistake.
His hands balled into fists at his side. “What if they come back and go for Michael instead of you? What will you do then?”
Her breath caught in her throat. She had a vision of the big hand that had connected with her jaw hitting her son.
“What if they use him to get you to talk?” His voice lowered menacingly as he leaned toward her.
She gulped in air, seeking calm, but the image of Michael in danger was too terrifying. “But I don’t know anything.” Her voice hitched and broke.
He shook his head and spoke as if she were a backward child. “Do you think that would stop them?”
It wouldn’t. The two men who’d burst through the French doors and cornered her in the kitchen had been vicious.
One had held her arms behind her back while the other had cursed at her and shouted questions about her father. When she’d tried to tell them she didn’t know anything, he’d hit her in the face. Hearing the police sirens, they’d gotten away by going through the utility room and out the door connecting the garage to the alley.
Shaking his head, Joe approached her the way he might a suspect with a weapon, slow and steady, a step at a time. His air of command left no doubt as to who was in charge. “Would you take a chance with his life?”
Distraught, she tried to think of an alternative to Joe staying with her. She had nowhere else to go. The people she knew in New York were more acquaintances than friends.
