chance of you getting pregnant on your own.”
“We were just very lucky.” Beth set a mug of steaming water in front of Kate and held out a bowl of tea-bags. “Peppermint or chamomile?”
“How can you be so calm?” Kate felt hysteria rising up inside her as the full implication of Beth’s pregnancy began to sink in. Kate snatched one of the offered packages, ripped it open and dunked the teabag rapidly in and out of the water.
“I guess, because I’ve had more time to get used to the idea.”
Kate’s hand instantly stilled and her eyes sought Beth’s face. “How long have you known?”
“A week. I suspected for longer, but I didn’t dare hope. My periods have always been so irregular—and after so many years of trying—well, I’d trained myself not to hope, even when I missed a period. Or four.”
“Four? How far along are you?”
“Eighteen weeks.”
“Eighteen weeks? That’s a full month further along than I am. A full month.” The very thought made her mind whirl and she sank back against the chair. “So all those sympathetic pregnancy symptoms you’ve been going through that I thought were so charming weren’t sympathetic ones at all. They were real.”
Beth smiled wryly. “I hadn’t thought of that.” She reached for Kate’s hand. “Look, I know this makes everything very complicated, but ultimately Stew and I just really want to be parents.”
Kate sat forward. “You still want this baby, right?”
Beth gave her another beatific smile. “Well, Stew and I talked about it and agreed that decision should be up to you and Jake.”
“Up to me and Jake? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Technically, it’s your baby and—”
“No. There’s no technically about it.” Okay, technically she was both egg donor and genetic carrier, so the baby was biologically hers, but still… “This baby is yours. Yours and Stew’s. That was the agreement.”
The tension inside Kate threatened to boil over. She leaped to her feet and began pacing, glancing incredulously at her sister. Under the circumstances, Beth didn’t seem nearly as distressed as she should be.
Beth stood following Kate’s movement with her gaze. “Yes, of course that was the agreement. But things have changed.”
“You can’t refuse to take this baby. I won’t allow it.” Kate spun around and pinned Beth with her most judicial stare. At least, she tried to pin Beth with a stare, but a wave of dizziness left her groping for a handhold on the nearby countertop, which ruined the effect.
Beth rushed immediately to her side. “Come and sit down. You shouldn’t be pacing like that. It can’t be good for the baby.”
“You know what’s not good for the baby?” she quipped irritably. “This whole conversation.” Still, she sank gratefully into the chair.
“Naturally, Stew and I will still take the baby. If you decide you don’t want it. But we want you to at least think about keeping it. The baby is biologically yours. And whether you’re willing to admit it or not, you feel a connection to it already.”
For a second, Kate didn’t know what to say. Didn’t Beth get it? Didn’t she understand that the only way Kate had been able to do this was by doing everything she could not to feel a connection to the baby?
“I don’t—”
“I know you do,” Beth said, cutting her off, “So there’s no use arguing with me about it. The point is, we have two healthy babies here. Stew and I would love to have them both, but we knew all along we were asking a lot of you and Jake. So if either of you—”
“Jake? What’s he have to do with this?”
Beth shot her an exasperated look. “That baby you’re carrying is his, too. If either of you decides you want to keep the baby, Stew and I are willing to step aside.”
Suddenly struck by the absurdity of the situation, Kate dropped her face into her hands and choked back laughter. “If either of us wants to keep the baby? You realize how completely absurd that is, don’t you?”
But Beth, who merely looked at her with a slight frown, apparently did not.
“Let’s face it,” Kate explained. “I have all the maternal instincts of a paper clip. The only idea sillier than me wanting to keep the baby is Jake Morgan wanting to keep it. He’s hardly ‘daddy’ material.”
“Jake’s not so bad,” Beth protested.
“Hey, he may be a great guy, for all I know. But we’re talking about a man who runs into burning buildings when everyone else runs out.”
“Actually—” Beth lifted her chin stubbornly “—now that he’s moved up to arson investigation, he doesn’t run into burning buildings anymore. Just smoldering ones.”
“Right. Smoldering ones. Big difference.”
Beth flashed an impish grin. “Well, at least his kid won’t play with matches.”
Kate pointed a finger at her sister. “You can laugh now, but these are the genes your child is going to have.”
Beth just chuckled. “I’m not worried about Jake’s genes. He’s smart, handsome, charming, and—”
“Exactly. He’s one of those annoying people who thinks he should get whatever he wants just because he is handsome and charming.” Hoping she hadn’t revealed just how appealing she found Jake—or how much that annoyed her, she said quickly, “What does my opinion of Jake have to do with anything?
“It’s not like you to be so judgmental.”
Beth was right, of course. So Kate smiled wryly and said, “I’m a judge. We’re supposed to be judgmental. Besides, I know I’m right about this. With all the broken homes and bad parents I see in my courtroom, it’s my job to cull the good from the bad. I promise you, neither Jake nor I will want this baby.”
“Just think about it. You might change your mind.”
“Yes. And I might turn into a pig, sprout wings and fly. It’s not impossible, just highly improbable.”
Despite her determination to put it out of her mind, Kate was still thinking about her conversation with Beth the next evening as she tried to finish up paperwork at the office. It was after six on a Monday; nearly everyone else in the courthouse annex had gone home. But she’d long since given up any hope that the relative quiet would help her concentrate.
How could she not think about Beth’s offer to let her keep the baby? Kate rested her hand upon her belly where her baby was growing inside.
Her baby.
Her breath caught in her throat as she felt emotion tighten her chest. For once she didn’t try to squash it or shove it aside. What would happen if she did allow herself to keep
