okay, now. I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need. I owe it to myself to take some time off—to see if Blair and I can make a go of it.” He thought about Mac’s letter. Why had it arrived when it had? Was God giving him a second chance?
“I owe it to him to do better than my dad did for me.”
Which shouldn’t be hard, given the past.
You owe him love.
That word sent a shiver of worry through his brain. Love? Gabe didn’t think he had it in him. Not the kind of love the songs were about, the kind of love he’d read about in stories and poems. Certainly not the emotion that required you to give away everything you valued for the sake of someone else, the kind of love that made you vulnerable and weak, prey to others.
“He doesn’t need to see that part of me,” Gabe told himself. “He’ll never know about that. I’ll make sure of it.”
But as he lay in his hotel room thinking about a black-haired little boy and his too solemn mother, Gabe wondered how he’d keep that shriveled-up, scared part of himself locked away when he’d spent such a large part of his life wondering where the next con to get his money would come from.
“One day at a time,” he reminded himself. “With God’s help, I’ll face this one day at a time. That’s what Pastor Jake said on Sunday.”
Surely if you kept your eyes on the future, you couldn’t get caught up in the past?
“Daniel’s my only chance to make amends,” he whispered, eyes closed as he prayed for help. “At least if I mess up, and I probably will, I know that Blair will make sure my son gets all the love he needs. He won’t end up like me.”
Please, God, don’t let him end up all alone like me.
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