Don’t worry. I’ll be in right behind you.”
While in essence, that was true, emotionally, Heather was lagging, and she was painfully aware of why.
The chapel is just a building, she scolded herself sternly. If anything, this particular chapel was a place of happy childhood memories. But she couldn’t seem to separate the structure from the experiences in her past. The thought of church—any church—was tainted by the thought of Adrian, who had been a beloved and highly respected deacon. No one had realized that it had all been one big lie.
This guy isn’t Adrian.
Truthfully, she didn’t know anything about the pastor she was here to assist. There was no reason for her to believe Shawn O’Riley would be in any way similar to Adrian, other than being a part of the active leadership of a church. It was wrong to judge all men on a single man’s faults, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. In her experience, men said one thing and did another. And what they did was bad. It was bad. All of her self-preserving instincts were screaming at her to run fast and far away from this situation.
She knew it wasn’t logical. This place, Serendipity’s little white chapel, was the church she’d grown up in, a place of warm memories and happy times. It was where she’d first learned to sing “Jesus Loves Me,” where she’d been told she was His little lamb and that if she became lost, He would cheerfully leave all of His other sheep to come and find her.
Only, when she’d become lost, no one had come to find her, not even the Lord.
And that was just one more grudge to hold against Adrian—one more way in which he’d hurt her. This place, that used to stand for security and love, now just made her anxious and uncomfortable. There was no safety to be found here. Not for her. Nor was there a chance of trust on her part to be given to any man who had a hand in running it. Just the thought of meeting the pastor made her stomach twist.
If she had a lick of sense she’d turn right around and go home. This wasn’t her battle.
If it weren’t for this baby...
But there was a baby. That infant made it her battle. She’d promised Jo she would help, and that alone would have been enough to keep her walking forward. But more than that, she’d made a personal vow that she would help children in need wherever and whenever she found them. She couldn’t make up for what Adrian had done—and she could never fully forgive herself for what she had stepped aside and allowed him to do—but maybe, just maybe, she could help someone else’s child, like this tiny gift of humanity who had apparently been horribly abandoned by the very people who should have loved him or her the most.
She’d help the baby, she’d do whatever Jo needed her to do—and then she’d leave the chapel, and the pastor she had no interest in knowing, behind.
As she entered the church and was greeted by Pastor Shawn, it was all she could do not to recoil from his handshake. Oh, he appeared pleasant enough with his Irish good looks—reddish-blond hair, a kind expression on his face and laugh lines fanning from his light blue eyes. Both his gaze and his smile were welcoming. He was obviously relieved that support had arrived. But Heather knew how easy it was for a man to put on a mask for the world and hide his true nature. A charming smile no longer had the capacity to fool her. Especially not on a preacher.
“Jo. Ma’am.” He tipped his head toward Heather. “Thank you both for coming in the middle of the night.”
“This is Heather Lewis,” Jo said by way of introduction. “She’s our resident expert, seeing as she has a house full of foster children. She also has a professional background in child care, which I suspect will be invaluable to us.”
As small as Serendipity was, Pastor Shawn had probably heard her name, just as she knew his, but up until now they’d had no reason to cross paths. He wasn’t a native of Serendipity and had become the pastor of the small congregation a couple years after Heather had left town for college, where she’d met and eventually married Adrian. And she’d certainly never even remotely considered darkening the door of his church upon her return.
“Thank you, thank you. I’m happy for any help I can get. I couldn’t believe it when I found— Well, here. Come with me and I’ll show you.”
Shawn’s stride was long and confident as he led them up the sanctuary aisle to where a life-size crèche beckoned. Heather’s heart leaped when she saw the tiny infant lying in the manger, swaddled in what looked to be a tattered football blanket. She wondered if the baby had been left that way by the mother, or if the blanket was Shawn’s touch.
“Oh, the poor little dear,” Jo exclaimed, wasting no time in scooping the baby into her arms.
“He fell asleep, so I placed him back in the manger. Or her—I don’t really know yet. It seemed like a safe spot, as close to a crib as I have available. As you can see, I’m way out of my league here.”
“I can’t even begin to imagine how you felt when you discovered the babe,” Jo agreed, kissing the now-squirming infant’s forehead. “And this is how you found him? Er—her? All wrapped up in this blanket?” Jo turned and thrust the baby toward Heather. “Heather, dear, can you help me get this poor little thing’s diaper changed and get the boy/girl thing settled for us? I am already weary of referring to him/her in a double-gender fashion.”
Heather accepted the infant and sat down on the front pew to change the child. It wasn’t the most ideal of conditions, but at this point the baby’s needs and comfort were more important than the propriety of the church setting.
“It’s a girl,” she informed them as she reswaddled the infant, this time in a soft, clean pink receiving blanket she’d brought along in her stash of baby things, leftovers from her previous career as a day-care provider.
“A girl,” Shawn repeated, his gaze tender and his voice full of wonder. “How about that?” From the bemused expression on his face and the way his warm voice dipped in awe, she might have thought he’d never seen a newborn baby before. Maybe it was just the shock of the situation that had thrown him.
“The poor mother,” Jo breathed, placing an empathetic hand over her heart. “I can’t imagine what she must be feeling right now, to have abandoned her own flesh and blood on Christmas Eve, of all times. What kind of circumstances must she be under to prompt her to such an action?”
Heather bit the inside of her lip until she tasted copper. She could easily imagine such a situation—any number of them, actually.
“I agree,” Shawn said in a low whisper so as not to startle the baby. “I was thinking the same thing. It’s awful even to consider.”
“It’s the infant we need to worry about right now,” Heather stated, her tone threaded with pain. “That’s what the mother would have wanted.” She believed the baby’s mother had taken this drastic step for the sake of her child, and her heart flooded with compassion for both. She could do no less for the unknown woman than to make sure her baby was safe and well cared for.
Shawn’s eyes slid to her, then shifted back to the infant. His gaze softened as he stared down at the tiny bundle. “Yes, of course.”
Heather rummaged through the box of supplies and produced a bottle of formula she’d mixed together before leaving the house. While she didn’t have any infants in her care currently, she’d never managed to get off the formula-makers’ sample lists, and she was now glad
