have no authority over me!” Helena declared. “I go where I want, when I want.”
As if he didn’t know that. “Jaysus, woman. Can we not speak a civil word between us? You could run into the raiders. Suppose that happened? Contrary to what you apparently think, they don’t just kill the women they come across on these raids. By time they’re done with them, the poor women are probably beggin’ for death. At least Miss Varga had the sense to stay hidden.”
Helena frowned. “Fine. I’ll take Al with me. The garden is the least important thing going on right now. Jimmy can work alone.”
Brendan thought about the young buck and his belly tightened with what he refused to call jealousy. Unfortunately, he was at a loss what else to call it. He wasn’t staking a claim to her. At least, that was what Brendan told himself. But even as he thought it, his heart protested. “I heard Mallory tell Al to ride out to check for laboring cows after fixing the fence. I’ll go along with you to town.”
She looked as shocked as he felt, and shook her head. “No. You said you were going to work on strengthening our defenses. You should have suggestions for Mallory about them.”
He had a few, but she and the foreman seemed to run a tight outfit. Brendan was here to protect Helena, but didn’t want to admit it to her. “I talked to Mallory about a few changes already. He’s off seeing to them. Right now I’m at loose ends, so I’m riding with you.”
“Fine! I’ll go put on riding clothes, and change back into my dress at the store. Just don’t talk to me. And when we get into town, go away! I’m sure the ladies at the Garter can keep you occupied.”
He summoned up a grin. “They usually do,” he lied. Then cursed his contrary nature when he saw hurt enter her eyes. What was it about Helena that made him do and say things he regretted before he could get his big mouth shut?
While she changed, he readied Harry and her mare for the ride into town. By the time they were halfway there, he was mighty sick of Helena’s stony silence. He managed to honor her demand, though, afraid that if he didn’t she’d sneak out of town for the return trip without him.
It was an hour of torture until they reached the edge of town. After setting a time and place to meet up, he peeled off without another word, hoping against hope she was as miserable as he was.
* * *
The Vargas’ farewell tea had begun to wind down when Helena said goodbye and slipped out the door. She set out for her sister-in-law’s general store to change back out of her dress. Then she’d have to meet Brendan for the ride home.
“Helena, wait!” she heard Patience Reynolds call as she reached the front of the store. “I wanted to talk with you,” her friend said, a happy grin on her pretty face.
In the fall of last year she’d married Helena’s nearest neighbor, Alex Reynolds, owner of the Rocking R. They were expecting their first child and were deliriously happy together.
Helena fought the disgraceful stab of envy she felt. It wasn’t that she begrudged her friends their joy. She didn’t. But it reminded her of all the things Brendan had stolen from her. Envy didn’t mean she couldn’t be pleased for them, though.
Resigned, Helena walked up the steps with Patience at her side. At the top, her friend stopped and turned to her. “Before I forget, Alex and I wondered if you two would like to come to dinner.”
“Two?”
“You and Brendan. We’re both so happy for you. Brendan did so much to help me. Alex has tremendous respect for him.”
Darn Brendan and his lie! But she trusted her friends and wouldn’t lie to them herself. “We aren’t back together in spite of what you must have heard. He’s moved to Shamrock only because he thinks it may help catch the raiders.”
Patience blinked. “But when Alex and I met Brendan he was clearly worried about you. And I know you’ve regretted the state your marriage was in. I didn’t understand then, but when I met him, he was so sweet. And kind.”
Brendan? Sweet and kind? He isn’t sweet and kind to me. Not anymore. I can’t want him back. I’d be a candidate for Bedlam if I did.
“He’s there to catch the Ghost Warriors,” Helena said. “That’s all.”
“Are you saying it’s too late? This could be your chance to show him how good life with you would be. Maybe cook him special dinners. You know, show him how much you love him.”
Helena shook her head. “No. I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll never try to manipulate him or anyone else again. That’s all that would be. If he doesn’t love me enough to accept me as I am, he isn’t for me. I’ve wasted enough of my life.
“Now let’s go see why Abby disappeared from the send-off.” It was a worry for Helena.
About a year after Brendan’s sister had arrived in town, she’d become the friend Helena had never had. For Abby, she would walk through fire.
She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Since becoming her friend, Helena had come to understand that Abby would have been a comfort after the accident. But by then it had been too late. By then Helena had managed to regroup, and remembered a lesson she’d learned early in her life—how to hide her pain behind false cheer.
She and Patience walked in, but the store was deserted. Helena glanced at her friend’s worried frown, then rushed into the back room, tucked behind a curtain. There she found Abby lying on a chaise with her eyes closed and a cloth on her forehead.
Eyes nearly identical to Brendan’s opened and widened as Helena hurried forward. Abby was pale as death and looked horribly weak.
Helena sat down on the foot of the chaise. “Abby, sweetie, what is it? You look awful.”
“I love you, too.”
At least her sense of humor was intact. “You know what I mean,” Helena said with a mock frown.
A frail smile tipped Abby’s lips. “I don’t know what anyone can do. I feel like death itself. I never felt this bad with Daniel.”
Helena stared. “A baby?”
Patience let out a little squeal of delight from the doorway and rushed to the other side of the chaise.
Helena did her best to be thrilled for Abby, who’d given up hope of having another child. But inside she felt hollow. Alone.
“Don’t tell my brother. He’s always been my rock, but he hovers, and I don’t want that right now. He’s pigheaded and won’t take no for an answer when he wants to help.”
Helena grimaced. “Rock-headed, you mean.”
“Good sweet Lord, are you two still going at it? I thought he’d moved home.”
“He made it clear he’s only there to catch the raiders. He thinks they may hit Shamrock next. Once he solves the problem of these raids, he’ll be gone again. Of course, he’s let everyone think he’s moved home, he says to protect me—”
“But that’s
