The Faceless Ones. Derek Landy

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The Faceless Ones - Derek Landy Skulduggery Pleasant

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did help him, you’d be dead soon after.”

      “He’d try to kill me,” Fletcher said with another one of his shrugs, “but I’d just teleport a hundred miles away.”

      “If that were true,” Skulduggery said, “then why did you only teleport as far as the bathroom?”

      Fletcher hesitated. “Sometimes, like, I have to be calm to teleport more than a few metres …” He brushed his hand through his hair, like he was checking that it was still ridiculous. Valkyrie could have saved him the effort. “Anyway, you’re wasting my time here, all right? So let’s get this over with.”

      Skulduggery tilted his head. “Excuse me?”

      “You want to give me the talk, don’t you? Just like those old guys?”

      “What old guys?”

      “Two old guys came up to me a few months back, and they were all, ‘you’re one of us, you have power and blah, you can now join this magical community and something else about wonder and awe,’ I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening. They were trying to recruit me into this little world within a world that you guys have and they were none too happy when I told them I wasn’t interested. And I’m still not interested.”

      “Did they tell you their names?”

      “One of them was, I think, Light something.”

      “Cameron Light.”

      “That was it, yeah. He dead too?”

      “Yes, he is.”

      “That’s a shame. I’m sure somebody, somewhere, cares.”

      “Did they say anything else?”

      “They said that without the proper training I could be dangerous. Said I could attract the wrong kind of attention.”

      “We usually try not to attract any kind of attention,” Valkyrie said, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

      Fletcher looked at her. “Is that what we try?”

      “Fletcher,” Skulduggery said, and once again Fletcher’s eyes flickered to him. “I’m sure that the idea that known killers are after you is one that, at the very least, is causing you some worry.”

      “Do I look worried?”

      “No, but neither do you look intelligent, so I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt.”

      Fletcher glared at him, and sat back and said nothing.

      “If Batu is behind these murders,” Skulduggery continued, “then he wants to use your powers to open a gateway that will enable the Faceless Ones to return. Do you know about the Faceless Ones?”

      For a moment, Valkyrie thought Fletcher might be too sullen to respond, but eventually he nodded. “The old guys told me about them. But that’s just a story, right? None of that stuff ’s real.”

      “I used to think the same way,” Skulduggery said. “But my mind has been changed.”

      “So if these Faceless Ones come back, the world ends?”

      “It probably won’t end immediately. They’ll come back, inhabit indestructible human bodies, tear down the cities and the towns, burn the countryside, kill billions, enslave billions more, work them until they die, and then the world will end. Are you OK, Fletcher? You’re suddenly looking very pale.”

      “I’m fine,” Fletcher mumbled.

      Skulduggery went quiet for a moment, thinking it all through. “But if Batu needs a Teleporter to make this all happen, why didn’t he go for someone with experience? You don’t even have any formal training. You may be a natural, as I’ve heard, but compared to Cameron Light, your powers are practically nothing.”

      “If Cameron Light’s so bloody good,” Fletcher said with a sneer on his lips, “how come he’s so bloody dead?”

      There was nothing Valkyrie wanted more in the world than to reach across that table and smack Fletcher Renn. Skulduggery, for his part, remained as impassive as ever.

      “Even though this will go against your instincts,” he said, “for your own safety I think you should be put in protective custody.”

      Fletcher’s grin was back. “Ground me, you mean? Not a chance, skeleton-man.”

      Valkyrie scowled. “He has a name.”

      “Oh, yeah, Skulduggery, right? Skulduggery. That’s an unusual one. Were you born a skeleton or were your folks just disturbingly hopeful?”

      “Skulduggery is my taken name,” Skulduggery said evenly.

      “That’s the advantage of being in this little ‘world within a world’ of ours,” Valkyrie added. “You’re told a few of the rules, a few tricks you’ll need to survive.”

      Fletcher’s shoulders made a slight movement, like they were too lazy to give another shrug so soon after the last one. “I’m doing OK.”

      “So far. But how do you feel about being someone’s puppet? Because if you don’t take on a name of your own, any sorcerer who can be bothered might decide he wants a new pet.”

      “Aha. So Valkyrie Cain isn’t your real name, that right?”

      “That’s right. It’s the name I took, the name that stops anyone from controlling me.”

      “Well I changed my name when I ran away from home, so I guess I’m safe too, right?”

      He was enjoying this. That made her dislike him even more.

      “Are we done?” he asked. “I’ve got places to go and people to see.”

      “They’re not going to stop,” Skulduggery said. “No matter where you go, they will find you. And if they find you, they will force you to help them.”

      “No one forces me to—”

      “I’ve not finished talking yet,” Skulduggery interrupted.

      Fletcher sighed and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

      “As I was saying, if they find you, they will force you to help them. And if you help them, Fletcher, then you’re on their side.”

      Fletcher frowned. “Meaning what?”

      “Meaning you won’t have to worry about them. You’ll have to worry about us.”

      Fletcher grew even paler than before. Skulduggery, Valkyrie reflected, could be a very scary person when he wanted to.

      “You don’t want me as an enemy, Fletcher. You want to be my friend. You want to do as I say, and for your own good, you want to enter into protective custody. Am I right?”

      For

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