CHAPTER FIVE
MATT ROLLED OVER in bed and looked at her. She was still sleeping, and so beautiful in her sleep he wanted to stay another night with her. That wasn’t his life, though. As tempting as Ellie was, and she was the most tempting woman he’d ever met, he didn’t get to have that kind of involvement in his life. In fact, he’d planned everything to fit him the way he wanted—no strings. It was easier. People didn’t get hurt.
Still, that graceful form under the satin sheets next to him was so hard to resist. And it wasn’t just the physical intimacy that had been good. They’d talked. Dined. Danced. Things he’d never done with a woman before. And Ellie was so easy just to hold, to be near.
The first night, he’d assumed it would be fun and games, she’d be gone by the time he went to sleep, and he would never see her again. But that’s not what had happened. They’d stood on the balcony for a while, looking at the beautiful Reno lights, laughing at silly things, talking much longer than he’d expected to. And the night had passed so quickly. In fact, by the time they’d gotten around to what he’d assumed would take only a short time, the sun had already been coming up and he’d been wondering where the night had gone.
Then Matt had watched Ellie, off and on that day, always having an excuse to be near her. It was a convention and medical conference after all. The hotel ballroom was filled with various displays of new medical products and pharmaceuticals. Somehow, the ones that had seemed to catch his attention had always been near her booth. And while he’d tried not to be obvious about watching her, Ellie had caught him at it a time or two, leaving him with a blush on his face and a shrug on his shoulder. Much the way a schoolboy with a crush would act.
But those looks she’d caught—they’d led to a second night, one with much less talking and much more passion. In fact, she had already been in his bed when he’d gone back to his room, having bribed a maid to let her in. And that night it had been like two desperate people clinging together at the end of the world. In some ways, that’s what it was. The end of their little world as, in three days’ time, he’d be back in a hospital in Mosul, putting pieces of injured soldiers back together. That’s who Matt was. And that was his world. Not this one.
Still, as Matt buttoned his shirt and headed to the hotel room door that second morning he wondered if something like this, someone like Ellie, could ever have a place in his life. It was a nice dream, but in his experience dreams didn’t come true, and it was all he could do to make it through his reality.
Someone like Ellie deserved more. But he was a man who had nothing to give.
Opening the door quietly, so not to disturb her, Matt stepped into the hall, took one last look at Ellie before he shut the door, then leaned against the wall for a moment, watching the hotel maid making her way slowly down the corridor with her cart. By the time she reached this room, he’d be on a plane to Hawaii, and from there a military transport back to Iraq.
“I DON’T KNOW what to do with him,” Matt McClain said, looking down at the little tow-headed boy in the firm grasp of his second cousin, or half-cousin, or whatever it was that related them distantly.
Sarah Clayton held the boy’s hand like she was holding on to a dog that was about to get away. Tight, and with a purpose. But not friendly. There was nothing friendly or nurturing in her. Nothing compassionate. Nothing to indicate she cared at all for the kid. “The same thing you think I’m supposed to do with him. Only I’m not going to do it. I took care of your sister those last two weeks, and I’ve had him with me ever since. But you’re here, and you’re more blood to him than I am so, he’s yours. Besides...”
She held out an envelope—one that had been sealed, opened then sealed again. “Janice left you this.”
He opened it, and looked down at the shaky handwriting—the handwriting of a dying woman. A lump formed in his throat and he turned his back to Sarah as he read it.
Dear Matt,
If you’re reading this, that means the cancer has finally beaten me. The doctors said I was too late for treatment, but that’s been my life. Too late for everything. It’s called non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and I’m sure you know all about it since you’re a doctor.
Yes, I know you’re a doctor. Heard it from a man in the casino where I was working. He was drunk and saying all kinds of crazy things...things that didn’t make sense. His name was Carter, I think, and he said he was a doctor. I don’t know if that’s true, but he was going on about his buddy Matt, from Forgeburn, who saved his life. Great doctor, he called you. And I’m sure you are.
Matt stopped reading for a moment and took a breath. Carter Holmes had been his best buddy since med-school days. He’d sustained almost fatal injuries and, yes, he’d saved his life. “Do you know how long Janice was in Vegas?” he asked Sarah, without turning to face her.
“For a while, I think. She told me she moved around a lot. Changed her name so your old man wouldn’t find her. Said she was always looking over her shoulder to make sure he wasn’t coming after her.”
Matt clenched his jaw, not wanting to read any more but knowing he had to.
I don’t blame you for not sending for me, Matty. We were both kids. Neither of us knew what to do. But I did wait until I couldn’t stay there anymore. You were gone, Dad left me behind, and even though I wasn’t even fifteen I knew I had to leave there, too.
I spent a lot of time going from place to place, never settling down. I was afraid to. Afraid I’d get too comfortable someplace and let my guard down. So I always moved on. Funny thing is, all those years I was running I guess Dad had died right after he left Forgeburn. At least that’s what Sarah said. Guess neither of us had to run away, did we?
Matt turned to Sarah. “He’s dead?”
She nodded. “They found him in one of the canyons. They think he’d passed on quite a while before one of the cowboys stumbled on him. He was living like he always did, they said. Hoarding trash and drinking his life away. Folks around here said it was the drink that took him. Didn’t really care to find out.”
Matt shut his eyes. So many wasted years he and Janice had
