took one deep breath to swallow her wayward urge. And another three to become as close to meek and subservient as she could.
“Oh, nay, milord, one such as I would never seek to disobey an order.” She winced at the tone of her own voice.
He ignored her tone. And ordered again, “Go.” In a voice so low, so sinister that it brooked no further argument.
“Choose.”
“Choose what?” Rhian knew her voice was tinged with anger, but cared not. She was tired of being told to choose, tired of being told to do anything. What was she to choose? She glanced around the smoke-filled kitchen in confusion. Outside of half a dozen serving girls, a cook and three helpers, she didn’t see anything that warranted choosing.
“Ack.” Hawise, an elderly servant, shook her head. “Girl, you could pick any man in the hall—”
Rhian’s harsh laugh stopped the older woman’s absurd comment. “And what, pray tell, would I do with him?” It was ludicrous to even consider choosing any of the louts gathered in this hall.
Hawise leaned closer, whispering, “Anything he wants. Anything you want. ’Twould do much to improve your lot in life.”
Nothing short of a miracle would improve her life at this point. And the Dear Lord did not deem it necessary to bestow any grace or miracle on her. Perhaps in truth He didn’t exist. Rhian silently prayed to be forgiven for her blasphemous thought. “My lot in life needs no improving, but I do thank you for your concern.”
“It was not a request, you nit.” One of the younger serving girls snarled as she huffed out of the kitchen.
Another one, a blonde, chimed in. “They are like dogs circling a bitch in heat.”
Rhian gasped. “What are you saying?”
“Since you are neither blind nor dull witted, ’tis a sly game you play at our expense.”
“I play no game.”
“Then what would you call it if not a game? You flaunt yourself in front of our men, yet do not avail yourself of their pallet. They ignore those of us who have always freely made our charms available to pant after the one who gives harder chase.”
Surely insanity had struck the entire keep. “I would never avail myself in such a manner.”
“Oh?” The blonde lifted one eyebrow. “You are too high and mighty for a little dalliance?”
“High and mighty has naught to do with it. I will not compromise myself in such a way.”
The girl motioned toward the others. “Did ye hear that? Milady here will not compromise herself with a man between her legs.” She tossed an errant braid over her shoulder before picking up an ewer and stalking past Rhian. She paused long enough to add in Rhian’s ear, “You know not what you are missing.”
By the time Rhian found her voice, there was no one left in the kitchen except the cook and Hawise, and the woman cackled so loud that Rhian forgot what she’d been about to say.
“What, what…” Hawise finally managed to stop cackling long enough to ask, “What be wrong, little lady? Swallow your tongue?”
Rhian tried to think of a way to make the older woman see the absurdity of the situation. But she could find no excuse that would keep her identity safe from discovery.
Hawise frowned at her in a way that made Rhian nervous. The woman seemed to look through the coarse gown and snarled hair, to Rhian’s soul. Finally, Hawise shook her head before handing Rhian a bowl of sweets. “Take these out to the hall, milady, and bring yourself right back here.”
Oh, heaven help her. Had the woman guessed so soon? “Hawise—” Rhian pleaded.
“Go. Do as I say.”
As Rhian turned to leave, Hawise added, “Right back here. No mincing in front of the men. Leave them for the others.”
Mincing in front of the men, indeed. Rhian looked over those gathered in the hall and curled her lip. There wasn’t a single man here who warranted any sort of attention from her. Mincing.
It would take more than a drunken sot to reduce her to that type of behavior. She approached the head table on the raised dais at the far end of the hall. Not even those seated in this place of honor captured her attention. Least of all the man in charge of the hall, who leaned so heavily on the table that his face was nearly in his food.
Certainly not the man situated to the right of the seat of honor. She wondered if he could see through eyes so red. Rhian gingerly stepped over the man she’d hit earlier and placed the bowl of sweets on the table.
Before she could beat a hasty retreat back to the kitchens, a hand grasped her wrist. “Ah, there you are, my lovely.”
She glared at the man holding her arm. “Let me go. I have work to attend to.”
He towered over her, easily pulling her closer. Close enough to feel the hardness between them. “Yes, my lovely, you do.” The man tightened his hold, grinding his growing manhood against her stomach.
“Sir, do nothing you might regret later.” Her legs shook, but she refused to let him see any fear.
“Regret?” He leaned down. His blue eyes were glazed by drink and a look she recognized as lust. Surely the drink he’d consumed blinded him.
“Oh, aye, regret and more.” Rhian blinked twice to make sure her sight did not deceive her.
Hawise nudged the young blond serving girl closer to the man. “Why would you want a scrawny girl like this?” The older woman nodded toward Rhian, before directing the drunken guest’s attention to the now flirting buxom blonde. “Not when this one here would be more than willing to serve your needs.”
Thankfully, the man’s gap-toothed smile was diverted to the other girl, giving Rhian a chance to pull free. She waited for no orders from Hawise before escaping back to the kitchens.
With Hawise fast on her trail. “I told you to return immediately. Can you not listen?” She dipped a ladle into the water bucket and handed it to Rhian.
“Thank you.” Rhian swallowed deeply, allowing the cool water to wash away the lump that had formed in her throat. “I tried to return. As you could see, I was detained.”
“And I saw that you did little to free yourself.”
“What was I supposed to do?”
“Kick him. Use your knee. How do you survive on your own?”
Rhian lifted her head. “I have survived quite well until now.”
“Aye. Under your father’s tender care.” Hawise leaned against a support beam before sinking down onto a low stool. “Do not speak lies, I am too old and tired for them. You are no more a servant than I am a lady.”
“You cannot be certain of that.” Rhian paused to weigh her words. She could not afford to give away too much. “It matters little. I will be gone soon.”
Hawise
